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Old 05-09-2012, 03:36 PM   #41
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What were you infused with?
Confusion, mostly. And annoyance at not so smart spelling correctors in touchscreen systems. Or maybe that came later...
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Old 05-09-2012, 04:28 PM   #42
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I do not believe so. However, as I near 40 I have been making some big changes in my life and lifestyle based on some longstanding dissatisfaction with my prior life. So perhaps I am pre-emptively dealing with what would otherwise become one.
Just don't put any of those musings on the firearms application. Especially not if you're buying a rifle with a scope.

In my 40s I retired, grew out my hair, lost some more of it, had my metabolism slow down, overhauled my diet, cut back on my drinking, improved my health, started taekwondo, had some cartilage & ligaments betray me, learned to surf, and became an empty nester. I guess that's an endless series of crises, and I never made time for the fast cars or the hot chicks.

I find that I'm less interested in trying new activities and not doing enough of the ones that I enjoy.

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He still has the bike, but got his hair cut...it drove him crazy.
Those ponytails really shed, don't they? Unfortunately both my spouse and my daughter think it's part of my "cool" image. I may have to stick with it for the rest of this decade too.
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Old 05-09-2012, 04:52 PM   #43
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I find that I'm less interested in trying new activities and not doing enough of the ones that I enjoy.
Maybe that is just a consequence of other stuff taking ime, like the book, the blog, packing the kid off to college, etc.?

I have little interest in the fast women and cars and the other trappings of the stereotypical mid life crisis. The changes I have been making have been more about making less of a sacrifice of myself and instead doing things I either always enjoyed (but didn't make time for) or always wanted to try. So I spent the bulk of my free time as a boy/teen freshwater fishing, but haven't had time or opportunity to do so much in the last 20 years. I have changed that and it is amazing to see the difference something so simple made. I have a fun thing to do with the kids. After a day in a windowless office yesterday I drove to the lake nearby, changed clothes in the truck and caught half a dozen fish in the sunshine. The exhaustion and mental fogginess went away and I had a great time.
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:02 PM   #44
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Hmmm.
Got married at 38, popped the first kid at 39, 2nd at 41. Some would call that a mid-life crisis.
Even more so for DH. He got married 2 weeks before he turned 48... kids at 49 and 51.

Didn't feel like a crisis. Just seemed like a new life stage. A radically different one, given two long term single people blending their lives... but so far so good. (12 years into the marriage).
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:13 PM   #45
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Switching from working full-time to part-time at age 38 was part of my "mid-life crisis" as was my later compolete retirement at age 45 back in 2008.

However, in the year (2003) I turned 40, a bunch of weird things happened, mostly unrelated, to make that year special. They ranged from relationships with women, family issues, things going on at home, and, very importantly, the end of my telecommuting gig I had for about 2 years at work. While I was allowed to keep working part-time, I had to put in my hours at the office in Jersey City, New Jersey (3 days a week). This brought back much of the long, tiring, and often sickening commute I had mostly rid myself of in 2001. I knew even then that this big change would be my eventual undoing and lead to my resignation at some point. My ER plans which were still in their formation stage, got accelerated greatly, bordering on obsession at times as other pieces fell into place in the next 5 years.

And in was not exactly a coincidence, my ER was exactly 5 years to the day from the end of the telecommuting gig, turning what was a bad anniversary date into a good one!
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:19 PM   #46
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Hmmm - layed off at 49. Ticked me off so much I never worked full time again.

Went from unemployed slacker to high class ER thanks to this forum.

Still working hard to master the art of watching grass grow and doing nothing in particular.

heh heh heh - that was 1993 - I'm a slow learner.
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:22 PM   #47
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Not due to a 'crisis', but in my early 40's I decided to have a new home built, knowing full well that it would delay my ER plans. I don't regret it as it gave me something to focus on and enjoy as the years to ER crept slowly along.
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:51 PM   #48
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I think at 46 I'm coming close to a "mid life crisis" point. Between the start of my wife's ministry career to bolster income (and a group health insurance option) and an increasingly unbearable j*b, I'm getting closer and closer to the tipping point where I may just say "to hell with it all" and walk away. That's likely still a ways down the road, but it is in the picture and I expect it to eventually happen.

What I really want to do is get the hell away from it, think about what I want to do (among stuff I have a reasonable chance to attain) and prepare myself for it. More or less it would be a "second career" that would be a semi-retirement. Sometimes DW asks me, "what would you want to do if you could leave your job?" And my usual response is, "I don't want to think about it until quitting is feasible because it would just increase my angst about it."
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Old 05-09-2012, 06:02 PM   #49
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Not sure what a mid-life crisis is, but in my early 40's expectations from both family and job were increasing and at the same time I was putting additional demands on myself, and the pace seemed to pick up at that age. It was very difficult to manage the priorities and trade-offs, and much as I'd like to say I handled those moments easily and well that's not the case. It was tough and we have some painful memories.

At work, peers and work buddies dealt with similar issues by quitting to look for job satisfaction elsewhere or getting girlfriends. Not many happy endings there.
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Old 05-09-2012, 06:20 PM   #50
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I did the megacorp thing for nearly 30 years- moved 17 times in 30 years for better jobs/more money/new roles, etc. Got to experience a lot of neat things but as I neared 50 years old, I realized that I was pretty close to being financially independent (we hope, lol) so my perspectives changed. Work became a real drain and while I wasn't clinically depressed or anything, I certainly wasn't enjoying myself there anymore.

In 2008, had the opportunity to take a great buy out package and was laid off. I volunteered, they would probably have picked me anyway because with financial independence came less BS tolerance which was pretty low to start with. I retired and we moved to a rural area with acreage, livestock and haven't looked back- still lots of change and new experiences but feel like there is some control this time. DW retires in about 4 weeks, she works for the school system so we hope to be on a long summer vacation!

I guess I didn't have a mid-life crisis, just a mid-life realization?
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Old 05-09-2012, 06:28 PM   #51
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I have little interest in the fast women and cars and the other trappings of the stereotypical mid life crisis. The changes I have been making have been more about making less of a sacrifice of myself and instead doing things I either always enjoyed (but didn't make time for) or always wanted to try. So I spent the bulk of my free time as a boy/teen freshwater fishing, but haven't had time or opportunity to do so much in the last 20 years. I have changed that and it is amazing to see the difference something so simple made. I have a fun thing to do with the kids. After a day in a windowless office yesterday I drove to the lake nearby, changed clothes in the truck and caught half a dozen fish in the sunshine. The exhaustion and mental fogginess went away and I had a great time.
That sounds very normal to me, not like the typical "fast women/new wife and sportscar" crisis.

In my 20's and 30's I worked very long days and hours trying to get ahead, including most Saturdays when almost no one else I worked with did. I never came home "on time." In my 40's I started making more time for myself, bought a sailboat, and put in extra hours at work only when it would really make a difference. In my 50's I probably averaged less than 50 hrs/wk with the occasional week from hell.

Sounds like your having a healthy, balanced life crisis to me - good for you (really)...
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Old 05-09-2012, 06:53 PM   #52
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Those ponytails really shed, don't they? Unfortunately both my spouse and my daughter think it's part of my "cool" image. I may have to stick with it for the rest of this decade too.
He was going for the ponytail (I love them by the way) except for some reason or other his hair just seemed to stop growing. It never get long enough for him to tie back.

He wanted me to grow my hair long...unfortunately it hasn't stopped growing and can be a PITA. Eh...but he looks at my face/hair more often than I do. So.....
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Old 05-09-2012, 07:13 PM   #53
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At age 40 (1990) returned from a job in SA and faced with my midlife disorientation decided to take a year off to decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. What I discovered during that year is that I really enjoyed not working. Up until then I had not really thought about FI/ER. I found out that I felt so much better and enjoyed myself so much that that FI/ER become the overriding goal which we were fortunate to achieve 12 years latter in 2002. That year off was the best decision ever for me.
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:20 PM   #54
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Around 40 I started questioning my life and happiness. A year later my son was born premature and it was touch and go for a couple of months. Then a few years later I lost my largest client and a few key employees my business went south and i almost went bankrupt. My wife's health started to fail and she passed away when I was 50 leaving me a single dad of a 10 & 19 year old. Ten years later daughter has 2 engineering degrees and a law degree and has a good job. Son will enter college in the Fall and somehow I managed to retire 9 months ago.
That was my mid life crisis.
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:21 PM   #55
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Maybe that is just a consequence of other stuff taking ime, like the book, the blog, packing the kid off to college, etc.?
Yep. I still enjoy doing the things that are taking up too much time, but I'd like to do more surfing. I'm just going to have to do less of the things that are taking up too much time.

Sort of the ER'd version of "just one more year" syndrome.

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He wanted me to grow my hair long...unfortunately it hasn't stopped growing and can be a PITA. Eh...but he looks at my face/hair more often than I do. So.....
Normally I'd wait for TromboneAl to come up with a witty photo rejoinder to these slow pitches, but this one is too good to pass up:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Long hair.jpg (135.8 KB, 20 views)
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Old 05-09-2012, 10:36 PM   #56
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Neither DH nor I had a mid-life crisis, but DD wished we had - she was in middle school when we were in our early/mid-40s and was not happy with our boring LBYM Honda Accord and minivan when her friends' fathers were driving cute convertibles.

Interestingly she is out of college and employed, but uses bicycle and public transit to get around.
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Old 05-09-2012, 11:52 PM   #57
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Just turned 37, and having a few close friends die in the last year, DH and I have re-evaluated our priorities. Eating healthier, exercising more, working less overtime, splurging on vacations, and really wishing we could retire now.
Also decided that there's no reason for us to live in Suburban San Diego in a "good school district" if we're not going to have kids, so we put an offer on a house today, and are hoping to move within walking distance of our 3 favorite bars and a bunch of restaurants.
I wouldn't have called it a mid-life crisis, but thinking about it, it really does fit the definition of major changes because you're feeling mortal.
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Old 05-10-2012, 02:15 AM   #58
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Not a crisis exactly, because it took lots of planning, but I took a year's sabbatical from work at age 42 and went back to school for a degree in a completely different field. I never worked so hard in all my life, but I had a wonderful time and it completely revitalized my career. As a friend said: "the oomph is back!"
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Old 05-10-2012, 02:58 AM   #59
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I think I have been going through a midlife crisis (I am 47 now) since I decided to FIRE a year or two ago. This decision is the key reason why I joined this website.
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How many of you went through a major change as you reached 40 plus? How did it manifest?
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Old 05-10-2012, 08:01 AM   #60
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A good friend hit his mid-life crisis after a job loss; followed by "sell the house, then buy ... oops the house sold .... move into an apt (with 4 KIDS)". Was clinically depressed for about a year. Taking horse pills to sleep. Wife - and kids - at wits end ... shoehorned into a 3 bedroom apt.

Wasn't until he excelled at a job with a former employer that he righted the ship. Bought a mcMansion, boat and put all 4 thru college.

Some people are just wired to work. Calls me about once a week with job success stories.
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