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Old 05-10-2012, 08:30 AM   #61
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I didn't have time for a mid-life crisis. Am thinking about having a late-life one though!
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Old 05-10-2012, 09:22 AM   #62
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Neither DH nor I had a mid-life crisis, but DD wished we had - she was in middle school when we were in our early/mid-40s and was not happy with our boring LBYM Honda Accord and minivan when her friends' fathers were driving cute convertibles.

Interestingly she is out of college and employed, but uses bicycle and public transit to get around.
DS asked us once when he was about 10 to get divorced because all of his friends' parents who were divorced lived in awesome houses and had all the toys, both the moms and the dads. We said we'd give it some thought.
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Old 05-10-2012, 10:03 AM   #63
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I didn't have time for a mid-life crisis. Am thinking about having a late-life one though!
Late-life is the new mid-life
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Old 05-10-2012, 11:54 AM   #64
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I'm 62 and could be in the beginnings of a "new" mid-life crisis. I seem to be rudderless and just letting the future happen to me and I have a bit of anxiety that "this is all there is.".

I'm pretty active outdoors, go to the gym, swimming pool and beach. I travel quite a bit, including scenic rail, etc.

But somehow can't shake the feeling of "is this all there is?".
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Old 05-10-2012, 01:46 PM   #65
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I'm 62 and could be in the beginnings of a "new" mid-life crisis. I seem to be rudderless and just letting the future happen to me and I have a bit of anxiety that "this is all there is.".

I'm pretty active outdoors, go to the gym, swimming pool and beach. I travel quite a bit, including scenic rail, etc.

But somehow can't shake the feeling of "is this all there is?".
I may be off target, but reading

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor (9781580085786): Ernie J. Zelinski: Books,

Work Less, Live More: The Way to Semi-Retirement (9781413307054): Robert Clyatt: Books and

Retire Happy: What You Can Do Now to Guarantee a Great Retirement (USA TODAY/Nolo Series) (9781413308358): Ralph Warner Attorney, Richard Stim Attorney: Books

were all helpful to me. Our library had all three. Best regards...
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Old 05-10-2012, 03:51 PM   #66
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I hate to lie. My truth-telling got me into trouble many times before I discovered the art of not saying anything, which was a completely foreign idea to me. My only real mid-life crisis event was job related: I almost quit my job at age 40 as a real-time programmer to become a veterinarian but changed my mind after discovering A - how many dogs I'd have to kill while earning the credentials, and B - how little they make compared to programmers.

An amusing story about my mid-life crisis non-event:
I have known my wife since she was 16 and I was 17. I am 58 now and we've been happily married for 36 years. We always say that we grew and formed a major part of our personalities together and are a lot alike because we knew each other in our "formative years." We got married early (I was 22, she 21) and we never had any other love interests. At age 40 I was diagnosed with severe kidney failure from having diabetes since age 6. I resisted going on dialysis and due to the fact that I was, I felt like I was being poisoned. I was pretty depressed but didn't know it. I had always had the knowledge that I was going to die someday so it wasn't a shock to me when death stared me in the face. In fact, it didn't really bother me much. I foolishly thought I had missed out on something by not "dating" other women. My wife said I could "do anything you want, just don't tell me about it." My friends were all jealous! I had permission and didn't have to lie to my wife! A friend and I went to bars and trips to the beach, all with a nefarious goal in mind. Nothing lucky happened (for either of us). My friends now joked that I "couldn't get laid even with a note from his wife." I am not sexually aggressive and don't like the lying and fakeness associated with "dating." Soon I got a kidney/pancreas transplant and felt remarkably better, both physically and emotionally. I still joke with my wife that I still have the permission slip. She dares me to try! At my age I look old and am fat!

The parts about cars and boats and doing fun stuff weren't really an issue with us as we always did that kind of stuff anyway. I had known I was destined to be short-lived since age 6 and tried to enjoy life responsibly. We have no kids and could save money and enjoy life at the same time. If we got an idea of how to have some legal fun, we usually went for it. Or investigated it until we convinced ourselves out of it.

Ever since I have been a teenager, I have wanted four main things out of life: To be married (later on I specifically wanted to marry DW), a house in the country, a college education, and have enough money to not have to worry. I have all those things in a grand way now and am very happy. I had all of the things on the list by age 38 except for the money. The money part just came true last month when we paid off our mortgage and became FI (thank you Vanguard). Due to my (and DW's) need for medical insurance and our severe pre-existing conditions, DW has to work until she is 64 and 8 months old.

I don't think either of us would be as well off or as happy as we are now if we hadn't met the other and gotten married.

I really love my wife.

Mike D.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:53 AM   #67
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Midpack, thanks, I hit Barnes & Noble and got Zelinski's book, $16.95, and the first page of the preface, alone, is worth $16.95.

The cartoon, is worth $16.95.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:08 AM   #68
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Midpack, thanks, I hit Barnes & Noble and got Zelinski's book, $16.95, and the first page of the preface, alone, is worth $16.95.

I think during my first 5 years, I was doing really well because lots of travel and writing. But last 2 years seems like just going thru motions with a daily routing that I try to convince myself is a great lifestyle, butdoubts persist.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:28 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by Zero View Post
I'm 62 and could be in the beginnings of a "new" mid-life crisis. I seem to be rudderless and just letting the future happen to me and I have a bit of anxiety that "this is all there is.".

I'm pretty active outdoors, go to the gym, swimming pool and beach. I travel quite a bit, including scenic rail, etc.

But somehow can't shake the feeling of "is this all there is?".
This is perhaps all there is, but not half bad. Especially if you like and are committed to a wife or lover. Committment is key to satisfaction. people vay in how earth shaking that committment has to be. Loving your family, making a good meal and serving it with love, really enjoying the sun and surf when you go to the beach, smiling when you feel a sea breeze- for many (including me) this is a lot to get from life.

Ha
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:03 PM   #70
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One of the advantages of a hectic life-32+ years on the road is that most of my life has been one crisis after another. My DW and I have never afforded ourselves the luxury of self indulgence via a midlife crisis. While we have a LBYM lifestyle we don't forget to live along the way.
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:23 PM   #71
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Got divorced long ago. Too old to drive a sports car or date 19 year olds.
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:47 PM   #72
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Got divorced long ago. Too old to drive a sports car or date 19 year olds.
The one thing I did not think of when I bought the sports car was how tough it would be to get in and out of when I got older
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:01 PM   #73
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... date 19 year olds.
The trick is to equalize the age differential by dating three of them.

My spouse appreciates that I'm still trying to decide whether to go for the 2x25 option now, or wait another decade to upgrade to the 3x20 option.
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Old 05-12-2012, 06:46 AM   #74
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Hmmm.
Age 37 bought fast car. It lasted 5 years, turned out it was cr*p.
Age 44, divorced wife of 20 years became single parent to two teenagers. Lost 40% of 401k. Kept the house.
Age 46 married 22 year old with young son.
Age 47 oops! youngest son born.
Age 49 DW becomes disabled.
Age 50 Lived in UK for a year.
Age 55 FI-ER'd from Megacorp after 29.5 years.
Age 56 took retirement contractor job to build margin/extra income stream & pay for some big ticket maintenance items.
Life is good!

What crisis? It's just life and I am blessed.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:50 AM   #75
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At 61 I develop an epiphany. After 30 years in health care, I just want to be out. I'm still in but waiting for replacement, but I had my sight on retirement. I had a list of things I still like to do or try, and realize, that even if they are really modest, it requires good health, time and some money.
No fancy cars for me, just a Ford F150 truck and a Honda.
I like to do a lot of road trips and very happy with road side photography. Haven't seen much of the USA yet.
Exercise and eating right is a big thing.
Managing my money is another.
Oh yeah, spend the money I saved, but hoping it last as long as we lived.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:52 AM   #76
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I'm hitting a career mid-life crisis now, I think .... switching from megacr*p job to a contract position this month. Job satisfaction diminished with extra hours, so if I work the hours, I'll get paid. Risk is adjusted with higher hourly rate. We'll see how I feel in a few months.
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Old 05-12-2012, 10:32 AM   #77
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Midlife crisis, yes, over a decade ago from age 43 to 48. It was a protracted period in which the ex-wife wanted out but I didn't. Stressful time with what seemed like a reconciliation, followed by a more definitive breakup/divorce.
Convertible was a '94 Lebaron bought new, but a shared vehicle through 1997, not just mine.
Replaced the broken down POS Lebaron with a 2008 Mustang convertible a few years ago which shares space with my Ranger pickup used for utility purposes.
Through it all, same employer for 40 years, soon to be terminated...
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Old 05-12-2012, 10:35 AM   #78
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I think for many of us a "mid-life crisis" was forced on us not by age but by events. The loss of a job, divorce, death of a spouse, death of a child, etc. all force us to rethink things.
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Old 05-12-2012, 11:02 AM   #79
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IMHO a mid-life crisis is a luxury of people with no job worries.
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Old 05-12-2012, 11:10 AM   #80
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IMHO a mid-life crisis is a luxury of people with no job worries.
No, I think it can go either way.
I had job security, but marital dissolution.
Other folks lose a job and get the house foreclosed on. That can't be much fun either...
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