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Old 06-06-2016, 06:43 AM   #21
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Quit being so afraid of rejection -- maybe she *does* want you to ask her out.

That said, though I was a late bloomer I wound up winning the marriage lottery, so I guess I shouldn't want to make this sound like a complaint or a long-term lament. But yeah, at the time...
Got to share:

I was a 21 year old idiot. She was 26 and the most incredibly beautiful girl in the office. Waaaay out of my league. Meetings would stop dead when she'd walk in. (Think: Christie Brinkley)

One day she came up to me and asked me out! I was so shocked, baffled, tongue-tied, surprised etc etc etc and just didn't know what to do!

Second stupidest thing I've ever done in my life: I stammered: "Nnno, I-I-I don't ttthink so"

First stupidest thing I've ever done in my life was 20 seconds later: When she asked me why not, I said: "I don't like going out with girls older than me"

Moron!

I went back and told my 60 year old boss...he just walked away shaking his head.

Still, 10 years later I met the love of my life and this time...didn't say no! Best thing ever!
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Old 06-06-2016, 12:24 PM   #22
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In the Spring time when I lived far up North, a friend and I thought it was fun to jump up and down on the ice covering the river.
we were about 20 feet offshore, and the ice would spring up and down as we jumped....
Suddenly it just broke...
We were up to our waists in the freezing cold water as fortunately it was shallow.
Even though it was a warm spring day, the 1.5 mile walk back home with wet cold clothes was uncomfortable.
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Old 06-06-2016, 12:36 PM   #23
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During the internet boom( or bomb) in 1999, I took out an equity loan and invested in couple hot internet stocks - Never seen that money again. But did learn my lesson, kinda expensive though.
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Old 06-06-2016, 02:55 PM   #24
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When someone yells Helm the lee, we are coming about...DUCK!

Learned that lesson way too many times in my ole man's 26' McGregor Sailboat.
One time as a small boy I failed to heed and somehow ended upside down dangling by one foot hanging by main stays.
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FIRE in 2031 @ 50yrs old (+/- 2yrs) w/ a hypothetical $2.5mil portfolio, 3 appreciated homes worth $1.0mil and rental income to fund my gap years until RMD. Assets will go to an inherited IRA where I plan on watching the investments grow until I die or the trust gets executed.
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Old 06-06-2016, 09:41 PM   #25
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When the little voice in my head said "this mayo is oddly different!" listen to it!
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Old 06-06-2016, 10:18 PM   #26
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Do not refreeze melted ice cream, and eat it the next day.

Trust me. You.Will.Live.To.Regret.This.Decision.

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Old 06-07-2016, 06:52 AM   #27
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When the little voice in my head said "this mayo is oddly different!" listen to it!
Reminds me of DW's first encounter with wasabi at a buffet. She thought it was guacamole and took a big helping.
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Old 06-07-2016, 06:59 AM   #28
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Reminds me of DW's first encounter with wasabi at a buffet. She thought it was guacamole and took a big helping.
As a young Australian commented, lo some 50+ years ago, upon tasting caviar for the first time, "This jam tastes fishy".
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Old 06-07-2016, 07:48 AM   #29
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24 years old, mid-1990s a year out of school.

I get a call from a Microsoft recruiter. They are forming a new information security group and would I like to be part of it. It will pay a few thousand less each year than my current job but it will come with a pile of these things called "stock options."

"No thanks," I say. "I have some college debt and I don't want to take a pay cut."

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Old 06-07-2016, 08:18 AM   #30
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Reminds me of DW's first encounter with wasabi at a buffet. She thought it was guacamole and took a big helping.
I only wish it was Wasabi.

This cost me three days in the gastrointestinal unit(after 2 days sick at home) of a hospital. Additionally they insisted on a colonocopy. At least the prep was part done.
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Old 06-07-2016, 08:44 PM   #31
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I love this thread.
So many stories. I am a sucker for a good story.
Cautionary tales.
Informative tidbits (you can drive through the center of Australia!).
Most are just plain funny (if they didn't happen to you).


My story? Where do I start. I will provide one tomorrow.
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Old 06-07-2016, 08:58 PM   #32
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I installed a monitored alarm system. The smoke detector was very sensitive to condensation and was located on the ceiling of the hallway close to the bathroom. One humid summer morning, I was showering at 7 am when the alarm sounded. I rushed out of the bathroom in my birthday suit, deactivating the alarm and opening windows. Just as I was on the phone to tell the alarm company all was well, the alarm went off again, cutting off my phone call to the alarm company. Once more into the breach.....and then I heard the siren of the fire engine racing up my street. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee! I grabbed a towel and ran to the front door. Two firefighters (including one female) were purposefully walking up the path. The woman was carrying an ax, ready to get at the source of the "fire". By this time, the neighbours were assembling to witness the action. I had a lot of explaining to do! The firefighters insisted on coming in to verify that my house was not on fire. All this, while wearing only a towel!

Moral of the story: install an extractor fan in your bathroom!
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Old 06-08-2016, 12:24 AM   #33
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I told the wife don't clean up the kitchen lets just get going on vacation, who cares if a robber sees a dirty house and dishes and unmade beds, etc.
I drove away for a 2 week vacation, noticing the neighbors garage door was open, and commented on it.
When I returned all the neighbors rushed over to me, turns out I was so interested in my neighbors garage door I had left my house door open (the screen door was shut, but the inner door was open).
After a day, all the neighbors toured the house looking for a bodies.... they looked in every room of the super messy house...
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Old 06-08-2016, 06:25 AM   #34
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Informative tidbits (you can drive through the center of Australia!).
And here's the car......just leaving Kununurra, Western Australia...1962. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kununu...tern_Australia

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Old 06-08-2016, 06:53 AM   #35
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And here's the car......just leaving Kununurra, Western Australia...1962. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kununu...tern_Australia

You drove across Australia in an Anglia?
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Old 06-08-2016, 07:00 AM   #36
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You drove across Australia in an Anglia?
I believe, if memory serves, it was a Vauxhall Victor:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vauxhall_Victor

But...we made it.....in retrospect.....who knows how?

Here's an addition, that I rarely tell because it sounds so unbelievable.......We hadn't gone far, (and don't forget, we're literally in the middle of NOWHERE), and one of the rear springs breaks.....just as we're passing a temporary workshop set up by a road crew......the odds of winning the Powerball are less.

'We', actually the other two guys, because mechanically I'm worse than useless, jury rigged the springs, and wired a block of wood in them to take up the slack.

Nobody sat on that side in the rear, and we coddled the vehicle for hundreds of miles across gawdawful roads until we could get it fixed.

The angels must (sometimes) smile on idiots.
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Old 06-08-2016, 07:28 AM   #37
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I am often surprised to have made it this far given all the dumb things I've done in my life.

We were in a hotel that had a fire on the top floor. We were two floors lower and a couple of rooms off to the side, close to the elevator bank. After we (DW + 3 kids) were safely downstairs I went back up to get something left behind. It didn't take long to realize that how we see people depicted in fires on TV is totally wrong. The smoke was chest high, and after only two or three steps I was on my knees, dizzy, retching and having a hard time breathing.
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Old 06-08-2016, 07:44 AM   #38
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I had a conference on Kiowah Island years ago and dinner was in a separate building. We went there by bus but I chose to walk back afterwards; it wasn't that far. I got lost, which is typical of me, especially with the limited lighting in deference to the local critters. Some of my colleagues came by a car and gave me a ride. They also told me that alligators like to sit out on the roads at night because the tarmac is nice and warm from the daylight sun.

I think some of us have guardian angels who are working overtime.
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Old 06-08-2016, 07:50 AM   #39
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When the prettiest girl in High School asks you if you work out, that is not the real question, so don't walk away.
Ha Ha!!! I couldn't really conjure up one, probably because I find these memories so painful I'd rather forget them than laugh about them, but yours did remind me of one of my stupid moments:

Freshman year at a new high school, real pretty girl who I am afraid to even talk to asks me, after class "are you going to the football game tonight", and I answer,

"no"....

I was so startled that she would even talk to me that I just froze up. I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights.:face palm:
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Old 06-08-2016, 08:40 AM   #40
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I had a conference on Kiowah Island years ago and dinner was in a separate building. We went there by bus but I chose to walk back afterwards; it wasn't that far. I got lost, which is typical of me, especially with the limited lighting in deference to the local critters. Some of my colleagues came by a car and gave me a ride. They also told me that alligators like to sit out on the roads at night because the tarmac is nice and warm from the daylight sun.

I think some of us have guardian angels who are working overtime.
This made me laugh. There are indeed more than a few alligators on Kiawah (just one island over from me) and they do like the warm roadway. Though a buddy grew up over there and she says that despite the teenage years where they wandered around all over the place, no one ever got eaten!

I once was walking on a path in one of our swampier state parks and a baby alligator ran across my foot. I feel like I must have looked like one of those cartoons where you run in the air for a few seconds before your feet hit the ground! All I could think was ... where's mama?
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