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Old 03-28-2014, 02:07 PM   #121
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Denial is not just a river in Egypt. Have you and DW considered getting a social worker or care coordinator involved? This has to be causing stress, especially for DW. At the very least, respite seems to be warranted.
Interesting suggestion. My first inclination was to describe how, no, we knew what needed to be done and it was just a matter of executing an appropriate plan (hey, I's an engineer!). On second thought, perhaps a third party who could outline the reasons and confront her with her true needs (and ours) might be helpful; to us if not her anyway. I'd like to think the brother in law could fulfill that role but that's wishful thinking, both DW and I know that. Anyway, thanks for the suggestion. In the past I have looked at all the local senior services sites on line and it seems the vast majority are dedicated to helping seniors remain in homes; homes of their own. I'm sure the assisted care destination would have some suggestions.

Meanwhile we're pretty excited that a) DD, SIL and 4 grandchildren coming for a 10 day visit from London. Then this am son and fiancee called from Africa to let us know they're expecting first child. So it's sort of put a happy glaze on the home front here!
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Old 03-28-2014, 02:11 PM   #122
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When you married your wife became priority #1. Don't let your marriage suffer.
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Old 03-28-2014, 03:16 PM   #123
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When you married your wife became priority #1. Don't let your marriage suffer.
Not sure if that's directed at me, but I can assure you this issue has if anything brought us closer together. If anyone has changed it has been dear wife, who has become far less tolerant of the lack of appreciation, respect, and failure of her brother to participate. In years past I'd yack about it and she'd agree, now she jumps in and gets rather animated. And she's a real sweetheart; not easily provoked. I (we) have a ton of blessings, #1 being a great marriage that has weathered more than a few storms. I want nothing more than to make her life better. Mine? that would just be a bonus as far as I'm concerned! Thanks....
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Old 03-28-2014, 08:09 PM   #124
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Interesting suggestion. My first inclination was to describe how, no, we knew what needed to be done and it was just a matter of executing an appropriate plan (hey, I's an engineer!). On second thought, perhaps a third party who could outline the reasons and confront her with her true needs (and ours) might be helpful; to us if not her anyway. I'd like to think the brother in law could fulfill that role but that's wishful thinking, both DW and I know that. Anyway, thanks for the suggestion. In the past I have looked at all the local senior services sites on line and it seems the vast majority are dedicated to helping seniors remain in homes; homes of their own. I'm sure the assisted care destination would have some suggestions.

Meanwhile we're pretty excited that a) DD, SIL and 4 grandchildren coming for a 10 day visit from London. Then this am son and fiancee called from Africa to let us know they're expecting first child. So it's sort of put a happy glaze on the home front here!
Caregivers have needs too, and there may be resources in your area to support them (you and DW). Here's an example.

http://www.fcns-caregiving.org/wp-co...on-package.pdf
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