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My Mom is dead.
Old 05-25-2014, 11:21 AM   #1
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My Mom is dead.

Died last Wednesday. Now I regret having said what I said about her. And not having had the patience I should have had with her, and not wanting her to stay for good at my home. All that despite my knowing that she was very happy with us. Probably because we let her have her way in everything. I remember my relief when she moved to my sister's, me not caring about her reluctance to rotate any more......
Shame on me.
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:30 AM   #2
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Vicente, sorry about your loss.

Ha
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:43 AM   #3
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Vicente,

Deepest sympathies on the loss of your Mother.

omni
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:57 AM   #4
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Loss can be harder when there was some friction and animosity... My brother and I had that - and the loss and regret was harder since I was still working through some anger I had towards him and how he treated the family in general, and me specifically. It took longer to get over that than I expected... despite the rational side of me knowing I couldn't change the past or who he was or who I was or unhear the things he'd said to me... so acceptance and moving forward was needed.... Over time, I was able to let the bad feelings go, and focus on the good side of him.

I hope you find peace and healing with time. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:57 AM   #5
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So sorry. You were a very good son.
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:57 AM   #6
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Sorry for your loss. It's hard no matter when it happens.

But don't kick yourself. Your reactions have been perfectly normal, both earlier and now.
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Old 05-25-2014, 12:04 PM   #7
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Sorry for your loss. Every one of your posts conveyed a lot of love for your mom. It's a hard job being a caregiver.
Best wishes,
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Old 05-25-2014, 12:13 PM   #8
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That's very tough, condolences to you.

If there are people (e.g., family, friends) who knew her, it can be helpful to spend time informally (like over dinner) and remember good things.
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Old 05-25-2014, 12:14 PM   #9
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Vicente, I am sorry for your loss.

Rich
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Old 05-25-2014, 12:16 PM   #10
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Sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom, but don't beat yourself up because of that and the past.
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Old 05-25-2014, 12:17 PM   #11
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Vicente, one of my favorite quotes goes something like this...the one who grieves the most is the same one who loves the most passionately.

May peace be with you my friend.
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Old 05-25-2014, 12:21 PM   #12
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Vincent,
My mother died Wednesday also. Don't do this to yourself...look for the good times and embrace them. The "should haves " and "could haves" will do nothing but cloud your good memories. If you think you made some mistakes just learn from them and go on. My sympathy on your loss but your life will go on ~~~~~~
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Old 05-25-2014, 12:36 PM   #13
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I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 05-25-2014, 01:10 PM   #14
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Vicente, you did your best and were a good son. QEPD
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Old 05-25-2014, 01:12 PM   #15
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Sorry for your loss and hindsight is always 20/20. When my mother was on her death bed I cried like a baby, holding her and apologizing for every problem I ever gave her. All she said was, it is OK. I'm sure your mother would have said the same.

Mom died in 2002, miss her everyday but closure is one thing she gave me which is something I will hopefully give my children.
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Old 05-25-2014, 01:22 PM   #16
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Vincente,

You did more than many sons would have done. Venting your frustrations here was probably a healthy thing to do. You did your best for her and you know she had a good last visit in your home.

So sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family get through this together and with peace.

Dancer373, hugs to you, too.
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Old 05-25-2014, 01:27 PM   #17
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Sorry for your loss, Vincente. I hope you will find that happy memories will replace sadness and regret more and more each day.
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Old 05-25-2014, 02:10 PM   #18
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Sending sympathies your way.

When we're dealing with tough situations it's good to be able to connect with others.

If you set some boundaries, that was not wrong and it did not make you a bad son. It was being a healthier person and husband.

Try now to cherish the good without 1). idealizing your mom, or 2). beating yourself up.

Kindest regards.
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Old 05-25-2014, 02:11 PM   #19
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Vicente: I am so sorry for your loss. Any words would be inadequate, but I hope you will take comfort in the memories of better times.
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Old 05-25-2014, 02:34 PM   #20
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Deepest sympathies for your loss. Godspeed.
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