|
|
05-25-2014, 10:21 AM
|
#1
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,116
|
My Mom is dead.
Died last Wednesday. Now I regret having said what I said about her. And not having had the patience I should have had with her, and not wanting her to stay for good at my home. All that despite my knowing that she was very happy with us. Probably because we let her have her way in everything. I remember my relief when she moved to my sister's, me not caring about her reluctance to rotate any more......
Shame on me.
__________________
I get by with a little help from my friends....ta ta ta ta ta...
|
|
|
|
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!
Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!
|
05-25-2014, 10:30 AM
|
#2
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
|
Vicente, sorry about your loss.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 10:43 AM
|
#3
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,430
|
Vicente,
Deepest sympathies on the loss of your Mother.
omni
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 10:57 AM
|
#4
|
Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,140
|
I am so sorry for your loss.
Loss can be harder when there was some friction and animosity... My brother and I had that - and the loss and regret was harder since I was still working through some anger I had towards him and how he treated the family in general, and me specifically. It took longer to get over that than I expected... despite the rational side of me knowing I couldn't change the past or who he was or who I was or unhear the things he'd said to me... so acceptance and moving forward was needed.... Over time, I was able to let the bad feelings go, and focus on the good side of him.
I hope you find peace and healing with time. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 10:57 AM
|
#5
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
|
So sorry. You were a very good son.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 10:57 AM
|
#6
|
Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,155
|
Sorry for your loss. It's hard no matter when it happens.
But don't kick yourself. Your reactions have been perfectly normal, both earlier and now.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 11:04 AM
|
#7
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 11,078
|
Sorry for your loss. Every one of your posts conveyed a lot of love for your mom. It's a hard job being a caregiver.
Best wishes,
MRG
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 11:13 AM
|
#8
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NC Triangle
Posts: 5,807
|
That's very tough, condolences to you.
If there are people (e.g., family, friends) who knew her, it can be helpful to spend time informally (like over dinner) and remember good things.
__________________
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 11:14 AM
|
#9
|
Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 551
|
Vicente, I am sorry for your loss.
Rich
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 11:16 AM
|
#10
|
gone traveling
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: DFW
Posts: 7,586
|
Sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom, but don't beat yourself up because of that and the past.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 11:17 AM
|
#11
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,293
|
Vicente, one of my favorite quotes goes something like this...the one who grieves the most is the same one who loves the most passionately.
May peace be with you my friend.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 11:21 AM
|
#12
|
Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 216
|
Vincent,
My mother died Wednesday also. Don't do this to yourself...look for the good times and embrace them. The "should haves " and "could haves" will do nothing but cloud your good memories. If you think you made some mistakes just learn from them and go on. My sympathy on your loss but your life will go on ~~~~~~
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 11:36 AM
|
#13
|
Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 71
|
I am sorry for your loss.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 12:10 PM
|
#14
|
Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,518
|
Vicente, you did your best and were a good son. QEPD
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 12:12 PM
|
#15
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chattanooga
Posts: 3,871
|
Sorry for your loss and hindsight is always 20/20. When my mother was on her death bed I cried like a baby, holding her and apologizing for every problem I ever gave her. All she said was, it is OK. I'm sure your mother would have said the same.
Mom died in 2002, miss her everyday but closure is one thing she gave me which is something I will hopefully give my children.
__________________
Earning money is an action, saving money is a behavior, growing money takes a well diversified portfolio and the discipline to ignore market swings.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 12:22 PM
|
#16
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,678
|
Vincente,
You did more than many sons would have done. Venting your frustrations here was probably a healthy thing to do. You did your best for her and you know she had a good last visit in your home.
So sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family get through this together and with peace.
Dancer373, hugs to you, too.
__________________
Married, both 69. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 12:27 PM
|
#17
|
Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 7,913
|
Sorry for your loss, Vincente. I hope you will find that happy memories will replace sadness and regret more and more each day.
__________________
"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." William Feather
----------------------------------
ER'd Oct. 2010 at 53. Life is good.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 01:10 PM
|
#18
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,238
|
Sending sympathies your way.
When we're dealing with tough situations it's good to be able to connect with others.
If you set some boundaries, that was not wrong and it did not make you a bad son. It was being a healthier person and husband.
Try now to cherish the good without 1). idealizing your mom, or 2). beating yourself up.
Kindest regards.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 01:11 PM
|
#19
|
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,923
|
Vicente: I am so sorry for your loss. Any words would be inadequate, but I hope you will take comfort in the memories of better times.
__________________
Living an analog life in the Digital Age.
|
|
|
05-25-2014, 01:34 PM
|
#20
|
Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: The sticks
Posts: 314
|
Deepest sympathies for your loss. Godspeed.
__________________
I’m not much on seizing the day. I just kind of poke it with a stick.
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
» Recent Threads
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
» Quick Links
|
|
|