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My mother starts hospice today
Old 06-16-2009, 06:10 PM   #1
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My mother starts hospice today

Well, she's 92. She's been eating less and less, says she's nauseous, and can't eat. Not in any pain, but very weak, mind's still rather sharp. She doesn't complain. We took her to the dr today, and the doc gave her the choice of hospital hospice, or hospice at home. She chose the latter. The doc says about a month, or maybe less. At least she isn't suffering. That would be worse. I'm not looking for pity, just thinking out loud. Everyone only gets one mother...
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:14 PM   #2
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She's had a long life and hopefully full of love and good times. The hospice team usually makes for an easier passage. Good wishes for you and the family.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:15 PM   #3
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So sorry.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:19 PM   #4
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I'll be thinking about you all.....
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:24 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DMGO View Post
...Everyone only gets one mother...
Right you are - there are questions you will wish you asked when you had a chance... Whatever happened to the ** we used to have? Why did we go to **? Good fortune to you both.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:26 PM   #6
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Well, she's 92. She's been eating less and less, says she's nauseous, and can't eat. Not in any pain, but very weak, mind's still rather sharp. She doesn't complain. We took her to the dr today, and the doc gave her the choice of hospital hospice, or hospice at home. She chose the latter. The doc says about a month, or maybe less. At least she isn't suffering. That would be worse. I'm not looking for pity, just thinking out loud. Everyone only gets one mother...
Have you tried Ensure? When my grandfather was under home hospice care, that's all he could consume for his final 3 weeks. It's easy to take and full of all the nutrients anyone needs. Best of luck!
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:26 PM   #7
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Welcome to the board, DMGO. Not a happy introduction -- sorry about your mom.

Any idea what is ailing her, or did she just decide to forgo all that and let things take their course?
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As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:36 PM   #8
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To live to a ripe old age and spend my final time with my son and his family...this is what I hope happens to me. It sounds like your Mom is one amazing lady. Hospice is a good program. Take advantage of everything they offer.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:37 PM   #9
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Sorry to hear of your mom's condition.
A positive thought to carry you through...Right now is the time you will someday look back upon and remember you were there for her.
BTDT under different circumstances. A lot of us have. Hospice was just fabulous.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:44 PM   #10
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How sad, and hopefully it's been a long, healthy and happy life. My dad went through home hospice back in '05 when he was battling cancer, and the folks who came and helped him and my mom were angels sent from heaven, IMO. I don't think any human beings could have been better to them and made a difficult situation any more bearable than they made it for them. It's only one data point, but I know my dad (and mom) never regretted their decision to go with home hospice care.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:53 PM   #11
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My mom had hospice care, as well as a DIL who is a nurse. Sure helped to have folks around who knew what the hell was going on...

I wish peace for you and your mother.
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:56 PM   #12
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While medical care in the US may be a screwed up mess, my experience is hospice care is a wonderful exception.
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:04 PM   #13
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The dr said it's cancer , but not sure of the type. She didn't want any tests, which she thought would be uncomfortable, and didn't see that as any 'cure'. I just found out that the hospice nurse only comes every other day, for now, and will come more often as it gets more necessary. She tried Ensure a few times, but the problem is the nausea, which is stopping her from getting anything down. Apparently, that's what is doing her in. The doc didn't have any meds for the nausea, but gave her something for the immensely swollen legs, which he said is one of the symptoms of her condition.
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:21 PM   #14
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As soon as possible talk the the Hospice Nurse. They have more knowledge of drugs to provide comfort vs. Dr's prescibing to treat. Phenergen is great for nausea. With my husband they started once a week and were at 2x's a day when he passed. The Nurse would initiate conf calls with the prescribing Physician and the Pharmacist for me to sign for and pick up to take home to administer to my husband. She and the Dr had to slap a new (green) Pharmacist around a bit. What hospice wants in the line of meds, hospice gets.
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:22 PM   #15
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DMGO, sorry for your mom. She can't get better care than hospice. My dad died at 90 in an assisted living facility. Had no known problem. Toward the end the organs just started to shut down and nobody knows why. This took about four months. He just started to lose his appetite. For someone that was a big eater, this was strange. Eventurlly it caught up with him and he died in his bed just as all us kids were coming to see him. He had a good long life and went peacefully. The way I want to go. Best wishes.
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:26 PM   #16
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While medical care in the US may be a screwed up mess, my experience is hospice care is a wonderful exception.
Yes, many of my DW's aunts and uncles have went through hospice. Plus many of her aunts have volunteered for them. Great organization in our area. They really do alot.
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Old 06-16-2009, 08:01 PM   #17
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So sorry for your mom's situation. My aunt(97) is not going through hospice, but it could be just around the corner. She is going through a 100 day rehab program at a nursing home, but not looking like she will ever get well enough to return home.(congestive heart failure) One doc said she should be eligible for hospice, but I'm not convinced she has less than 6 months to live. I guess we will see at some point. The good thing about where she is, she is resting comfortably and seems OK with being there.

I hope your mom rest well her remaining days. Hospice should be a big help. Best of luck.
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Old 06-16-2009, 08:06 PM   #18
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I'm so sad to hear about your mom. Yes, we all only get one mother. I wish you both the best during this difficult time.
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Old 06-16-2009, 10:49 PM   #19
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I am so sorry that you are going through this...but she is so lucky to have you as her son. Just spend the time hugging, loving, and kissing her......and when the time comes, you will have a lighter heart than most. My prayers are with you and your family.
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Old 06-17-2009, 06:29 AM   #20
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My mother in law got degenerative systemic Schlerodermia whe 55. Nevertheless she lived independently. 2 years ago, after several brief stays at hospital was sent home as there was nothing to do. doctors gave her 3 months tops. She was a happy person till the end at home -15 months- and a great patient. Never complained. Always with a smile for us.
I wish I´ll have the same good humor and patience as her when my time comes. Never once did my wife and I consider sending her to an old age home. Died peacefully 4 months ago. My wife goes daily to the cemetery. And most of the times I go with her.
Now I am concerned with my mother. 82 and leaving alone in Madrid now that my sister -who lived wirh her- got married. Almost 700 km away Madrid is. She has other children there but they are too far. Doesn´t want to come here -a small town- where she has children too that can take care of her more quickly and easily.
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