Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-24-2010, 02:32 PM   #101
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Leonidas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright
Posts: 2,847
Good luck to you and your family on this issue Fuego. I'm sorry that we couldn't dissuade you, but it's a family issue and in those things there is always a lot more at stake than just money.

Of course, money is involved, which leads me to a question and a point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FUEGO View Post
...gold is the main source of savings... Gold is typically held in the form of 24k jewelry. They pay only a small mark up above what the gold itself is worth as bullion. So when I say I'm going to keep SIL's gold as security, this is just money and savings to them. There may be some emotional attachment to the jewelry, but at the end of the day it is just a good store of value from their point of view. And I would have no problem going down to the pawn shop or local scrap metals dealer and getting the best value for the gold as I could get should I need to get repaid.
My question is, there's not $23K in gold jewelry there now? Or is actually selling it only in event of Armageddon?

My point is to say that gold is at record high prices, and if it were to start falling it could really go down rapidly. I guess I just want to make sure that you have factored in that your security on this "loan" is a little shaky.

The whole loan thing is shaky as hell, but your security on it is perhaps even shakier than betting on an addict being able to stop being addicted just because her family wants her to. One of my favorite quotes about investing in gold is; "When gold goes up, it takes the stairs. When gold goes down, it rides the express elevator."
__________________

__________________
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson
Leonidas is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 04-24-2010, 02:55 PM   #102
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,013
OK, so gold is an asset class in this culture. Tell SIL to sell her assets to pay her debt.

Don't lend her the money, Fuego!
__________________

__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2010, 03:17 PM   #103
Moderator Emeritus
Martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,212
Access to more cash is just an invitation to gamble more. Who is going to walk with her and make sure she uses any money she squeezes out of all of you (or preferably out of her assets) to pay the on debt?
__________________
.


No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA

Martha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2010, 05:47 PM   #104
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha View Post
Access to more cash is just an invitation to gamble more. Who is going to walk with her and make sure she uses any money she squeezes out of all of you (or preferably out of her assets) to pay the on debt?
She is just going to triple up that $23K at the next game, paying off the original debt, paying back Fuego, and still having $23K left to treat her family to a nice vacation in Europe?
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky
NW-Bound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2010, 07:40 PM   #105
gone traveling
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 3,864
Fuego,
Good luck with the intervention. Stand tough. DO NOT GIVE HER ANY MONEY directly. I think making her offer her jewelry to the sharks creditors is the best idea- but only if they agree not to gamble with her ever again! Otherwise this is just step one on a really bad 12-step program...
__________________
Westernskies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2010, 08:48 PM   #106
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,387
I remember having posted here that one of my uncles died a drug addict, and another one was a gambling addict. The second one is still alive, broke, and now living with one of his offsprings. He simply could not have anything in his name. He would pawn family possessions or sell his car to gamble, to "make it back".

I knew about his gambling problem when I was in my early teens. As much as my grandmother and mother wanted to help him, they simply could not.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky
NW-Bound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 10:34 AM   #107
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 7,526
Quote:
Originally Posted by FUEGO View Post
What do they eat in the Sopranos? Spaghetti? Some vino and meatballs? Lasagna?
We went with spaghetti with a marinara sauce with ground beef and turkey. A meatball or two snuck their way in. Quick and easy to make an instant meal for 12-15 people when we didn't really plan on making anything. Apparently the husband and kids of the gambler had not really eaten anything all day other than splitting one sub sandwich 4 ways for breakfast (no money).

Intervention went as well as it could I guess. Will report more details later and respond to posts above.
__________________
Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (5, 11, and 12).
FUEGO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 11:30 AM   #108
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Leonidas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright
Posts: 2,847
Quote:
Originally Posted by FUEGO View Post
Apparently the husband and kids of the gambler had not really eaten anything all day other than splitting one sub sandwich 4 ways for breakfast (no money).
I had a lot of things to say about this, but none of it seems to work for me. This is sad and wrong. I thought that a possible solution here was for the husband to divorce her and take the kids, but I'm starting to think he has some functionality issues as well. That, or he's just no kid of man that I can empathize or sympathize with.
__________________
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson
Leonidas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 11:58 AM   #109
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,882
Fuego,

Hope the intervention went well and that the seriousness of the situation sunk in to your SIL.
__________________
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 12:01 PM   #110
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,822
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonidas View Post
I had a lot of things to say about this, but none of it seems to work for me. This is sad and wrong. I thought that a possible solution here was for the husband to divorce her and take the kids, but I'm starting to think he has some functionality issues as well. That, or he's just no kid of man that I can empathize or sympathize with.
Well, if the kids are little and the grownups have weight issues, then 1/4th of a sub sandwich is about right, especially if it is not expected to be the largest meal of the day. Frank and I often eat about that amount of food. A sub sandwich can be relatively nutritious and cheap ("Five dollah foot long.." with lots of veggies), and they are much too large for many of us. But I do agree - - kids should not go hungry (if they were).
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 12:32 PM   #111
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,029
Unfortunately most fast food is not nutritious just cheap . Here is subway's list . Check out the sodium and carbohydrate contents . Their sodium contents are sky high poor Jared probably is now taking BP meds and wondering why ? I recently read an article that most restaurants way underestimate their calorie content .

http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/Men...tionValues.pdf
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 12:39 PM   #112
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,822
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Unfortunately most fast food is not nutritious just cheap . Here is subway's list . Check out the sodium and carbohydrate contents . Plus I recently read an article that most restaurants way underestimate their calorie content .

http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/Men...tionValues.pdf
Exactly! If such a sandwich is selected, 1/4 would probably provide plenty of calories for many people depending on the particular sub. Weight Watchers absolutely loves the Subway low fat subs due to their nutritional values (that is where I first heard about them! only 5-6 points for 6" and they love to see members eating all those veggies on them), but who knows if that is what this family was eating or if their sub was from Subway at all. It could have been homemade with an inch of deli meat on it for all I know.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 12:43 PM   #113
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Leonidas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright
Posts: 2,847
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Well, if the kids are little and the grownups have weight issues, then 1/4th of a sub sandwich is about right, especially if it is not expected to be the largest meal of the day. Frank and I often eat about that amount of food. A sub sandwich can be relatively nutritious and cheap ("Five dollah foot long.." with lots of veggies), and they are much too large for many of us. But I do agree - - kids should not go hungry (if they were).
Truth is a factor to consider here, but I'm not sure that I would agree that 1/4 of a sub sandwhich is about right for anybody - as their only meal of the day. Unless I misread something Fuego wrote, if it had not been for the food offered at the intervention, that is all they would have eaten for the day. Using Subway's numbers that Moemg gave us, it looks like a 1/4 of a foot-long would provide, at most, 150 calories. I compare that to a recommended daily caloric intake for infants of 900; 2-3 year-olds of 1000; and, 4-8 year-olds of 1200-1400 - and there won't be much weight problem with those kids for long.
__________________
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson
Leonidas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 12:51 PM   #114
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,822
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Well, if the kids are little and the grownups have weight issues, then 1/4th of a sub sandwich is about right, especially if it is not expected to be the largest meal of the day. Frank and I often eat about that amount of food. A sub sandwich can be relatively nutritious and cheap ("Five dollah foot long.." with lots of veggies), and they are much too large for many of us. But I do agree - - kids should not go hungry (if they were).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonidas View Post
Truth is a factor to consider here, but I'm not sure that I would agree that 1/4 of a sub sandwhich is about right for anybody - as their only meal of the day. Unless I misread something Fuego wrote, if it had not been for the food offered at the intervention, that is all they would have eaten for the day.
Hey, if I was expecting to go to Fuego's house for a huge feast, and free at that, I might not eat anything at all beforehand, KWIM? I think they arrived before lunchtime. A small snack on the way would be more than enough. Are they going to refuse to feed me? I think not. And while Subway has the catchy commercial for their low prices, there are lots of other subs that are much higher in calories and about the same price, believe me (groan). I have seen people make "Dagwood sandwiches" at home that are real belly busters.

Also, please re-read my post. I don't agree that anything at all is about right "for anybody". Those were your words, not mine. I didn't assume that their breakfast was planned to be their only meal of the day, and if you do then you are much more trusting than I am. I think that they were expecting a free lunch from "moneybags Fuego"*, and that if they hadn't got one there would have been a big tiff and after making him feel very guilty about not even having the hospitality to feed them, they would have left.

Seriously, if they showed up and said, "Oh man, I just ate a meal fit for a king - - I am so stuffed! I don't think I can eat for a week" I would be very surprised given that their objective is apparently to extract $23,000 plus who knows how much more from Fuego one way or another. I never eat that much before Christmas dinner, either.

*Edited to add: I don't think Fuego is "moneybags Fuego", but I am just hypothesizing the worst case, that they might be thinking this way. No insult meant to Fuego at all. I think he is a hard working guy with a tough situation.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 01:12 PM   #115
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Leonidas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright
Posts: 2,847
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
I didn't assume that their breakfast was planned to be their only meal of the day, and if you do then you are much more trusting than I am.
Perhaps we are both making assumptions here that may or may not be matched by the reality of the situation. I will admit that I interpreted Fuego's words to mean that he believed it was all they had to eat but not necessarily by choice.

I'll wait to hear from Fuego on this before I comment further. Of course we have to trust that he didn't get played on this item as much as at least some of us think he's being played on the larger issue.

I think that either way that my comments on the people involved (but not necessarily if nutritional needs are being met) are still accurate. If they porked out on a Dagwood and then portrayed that as poverty to poor mouth the family they're begging from, that is wrong. And it it is nutritionally deficient because the money was pissed away by mom's gambling habit, that is wrong as well.
__________________
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson
Leonidas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 01:14 PM   #116
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,822
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonidas View Post
Perhaps we are both making assumptions here that may or may not be matched by the reality of the situation. I will admit that I interpreted Fuego's words to mean that he believed it was all they had to eat but not necessarily by choice.
Well, I'm sure that is what they WANTED him to think. I must admit that I assumed they arrived right before lunch, too. That could be completely off-base.

Quote:
I'll wait to hear from Fuego on this before I comment further. Of course we have to trust that he didn't get played on this item as much as at least some of us think he's being played on the larger issue.
I just don't have that much trust in people who gamble with money they don't have.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 01:36 PM   #117
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
This whole thread is bizarre.
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 01:39 PM   #118
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Leonidas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright
Posts: 2,847
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
I just don't have that much trust in people who gamble with money they don't have.
I see what you're saying, and I think our intended messages to each other got garbled somewhere in the process.

I'm equally prepared to find that it is either way - a lie or poor parenting. Addicts lives are based on lies they tell themselves, and lies to others just naturally spring from their lips. Co-dependents are just a different version of the same story. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it were both happening simultaneously (lying and poor parenting). Addicts use and abuse everyone around them to justify what they do and continue their addictions - and the consequences be damned.

In cases like these, I am equally prepared to believe that the parents have really screwed up everything so much that all they can afford to give the kids is a part of a sandwich just as much as I'm prepared to believe that they would create that situation just to tug at someone's heartstrings, or that they would just fabricate the lie for the same reason.

To me, what is sad is that three kids are stuck in a situation of either the truth of the sandwich, or the lie of the sandwich.
__________________
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson
Leonidas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 01:51 PM   #119
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,029
Fuego , I have nothing to add except I am sorry you are caught in a very rough spot . Lending or giving money to family is a tricky issue .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2010, 02:35 PM   #120
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,633
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
This whole thread is bizarre.
+1 It is like watching someone commit suicide online and asking for our thoughts and help in the process.
__________________

__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
gambling, intervention


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
HELOC REWahoo FIRE and Money 19 09-05-2010 08:58 AM
Heloc Shredder FIRE and Money 0 11-25-2008 03:52 PM
Urgently Need Advise on my 401(a) jhandley Hi, I am... 2 06-24-2008 07:36 PM
How do you use your HELOC? drb111 Young Dreamers 27 04-19-2007 07:29 PM
the HELOC eridanus FIRE and Money 8 05-08-2005 09:33 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:15 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.