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My Story, Part 1........
Old 11-17-2011, 09:01 AM   #1
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My Story, Part 1........

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Old 11-17-2011, 09:26 AM   #2
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Wow....that's really hard stuff to grow up with. I regret that happened to you, and to all kids who live with parents who shouldn't be parents.

I look forward to reading the next chapters.
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Old 11-17-2011, 09:38 AM   #3
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Wow....that's really hard stuff to grow up with. I regret that happened to you, and to all kids who live with parents who shouldn't be parents.

I look forward to reading the next chapters.
Me too !
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:10 AM   #4
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There is a line between discipline and abuse. It sounds like your grandparents recognized where that line was an stayed on the discipline side of it and your parents, particularly your stepmother, crossed it on a regular basis. Somewhat surprising that she was a school teacher unless she was an angel at school and a devil at home.

Sounds like a very difficult childhood but that in some ways it made you stronger as well. Looking forward to the subsequent chapters.
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:41 AM   #5
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Ok, I am taking a deep breath and deciding to embark on this.
A real sharing, with no gloss applied. Thank you.

You are real survivor. Anyone would suffer under this, and many would be broken by it, but you triumphed over it and made a good life for yourself and your own family.

Congratulations on a job very well done.

Ha
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:42 AM   #6
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Thanks for sharing your story. I'm looking forward to part 2.

You had a difficult life growing up yet you were able to focus your anger towards positive things.
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Old 11-17-2011, 10:59 AM   #7
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Thanks for sharing the tough stuff. You aren't alone. For me, the catharsis is the step to put things in perspective and use experiences for strength. It doesn't happen just once, but is a continual process.

Part two...three?
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:02 AM   #8
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Thanks for sharing the tough stuff. You aren't alone. For me, the catharsis is the step to put things in perspective and use experiences for strength. It doesn't happen just once, but is a continual process.

Part two...three?
Fortunately or not, might be 5 parts. I feel better after sharing part one. I guess in some ways, this forum is kind of an extended family for me......Lord knows I talk to folks on here more than most of my family............
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:12 AM   #9
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Five parts? I'm hooked.
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:13 AM   #10
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FinanceDude, congratulations on your survival. Not all of us do. I found out many years ago when I was out on my own and gone, that I could not talk about it to others. It was way beyond their life experiences, and they were unable to grasp it. I heard "oh, it couldn't have been that bad" and " you have to be making up stories!" and "so what did you wrong?" And they had heard only a tiny tiny sliver from me. When your only crime was existing, what can one say?

Like a moth to a flame, I'll read your next installment.
I think we've learned that our past doesn't have to direct our future. But there is no doubt that it has a big effect. Dr. Phil said it changes kids for life. I certainly agree with that.

Now I'm getting off the computer and going to work on something to keep my mind busy for a while. Then it passes. The good old days are now.
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:16 AM   #11
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My heart goes out to you. There are definitely cruel people in the world and it is horrible when they have children and treat them so badly. Sometimes, this leads children down the wrong path and they deal with their past through various addictions. Sometimes, it make the child much stronger and determined. I am looking forward to reading more of your story.
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:17 AM   #12
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FinanceDude,

There are many people who put up with abuse when young... it was my father who hit us when we were young.. and if my mother intervened he hit her... so having it be your stepmom is not the issue IMO... almost everything you say might have been the same if your mother was the same as your stepmom...

My sisters rebelled like you, and paid for it with more abuse... one moved out when she was 16, in with her boyfriend (on the good side, they are still together 40 years later)....

I am also a person who does not make friends... still to this day.... and even though I have changed and can talk it up with a lot of people, I just do not like big groups of people...

So, I will ask.... what do you want to come from this Do you hope to get closure? Do you hope to get a better relationship with either your father or stepmom?

I also look forward to the next chapter... please add what has happened to your sister and half brother.... are you close etc....
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:21 AM   #13
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FinanceDude, congratulations on your survival. Not all of us do. I found out many years ago when I was out on my own and gone, that I could not talk about it to others. It was way beyond their life experiences, and they were unable to grasp it. I heard "oh, it couldn't have been that bad" and " you have to be making up stories!" and "so what did you wrong?" And they had heard only a tiny tiny sliver from me. When your only crime was existing, what can one say?

Like a moth to a flame, I'll read your next installment.
I think we've learned that our past doesn't have to direct our future. But there is no doubt that it has a big effect. Dr. Phil said it changes kids for life. I certainly agree with that.

Now I'm getting off the computer and going to work on something to keep my mind busy for a while. Then it passes. The good old days are now.

OH YES... I know of three sisters who's dad had sex with them for many years.... and also physically abused his son... I only got the physically abuse....

But, to tell the truth, the MENTAL abuse was even worse IMO... as FinanceDude points out, you never knew when the explosion was about to happen... and being put down all the time does not make you feel good later in life....
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Old 11-17-2011, 11:54 AM   #14
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Thanks so much for sharing your story.
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Old 11-17-2011, 12:13 PM   #15
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Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sure it was very hard to write; just as it was difficult to read. I'm looking forward to reading more. I'm so sorry that you had to live through it.
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Old 11-17-2011, 12:19 PM   #16
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Your rebellious streak seems to have grown from a young age - and your life could have gone so very wrong. I'm so glad you chose the path to survival.

And I admire you for being able to write about it. Your courage will help others open up, or at least face their demons.

Thanks.

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Old 11-17-2011, 12:24 PM   #17
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Thankfully, my parents were pretty good at parenting, but I turned out like this anyway...

Like they say, anyone can be a father/mother, but not everyone can be a dad/mom. It is sad when the people who should care the most do not, but it is NOT a reflection on the poor kid getting the abuse. Sometimes "family" is just a description.
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Old 11-17-2011, 12:24 PM   #18
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Fortunately or not, might be 5 parts. I feel better after sharing part one. I guess in some ways, this forum is kind of an extended family for me......Lord knows I talk to folks on here more than most of my family............
Oh, yeah. I'm finding that sitting down and composing a post really helps me to put my thoughts together and express myself. Of course, being an introvert I reread it and revise it and then submit it and instantly need to revise it again. But you know what I mean.
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Old 11-17-2011, 12:38 PM   #19
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As a child, I think dealing with and living with parents who have blatant bias for one child over the others would be crushing to deal with. Losing my favorite grandpa was the worst experience of my teen years. Sometimes I wonder if we wind up where we are at in life because of our experiences, or in spite of our experiences.
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Old 11-17-2011, 12:56 PM   #20
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It took a lot of courage to write so candidly about your childhood, FD. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope it's therapeutic. I am looking forward to Chapter 2.
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