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Old 10-17-2008, 09:22 AM   #21
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Dog rolls in poop
Wife vacuums a lot every day
Dog isn't being brushed
Dog is being yelled at for trivial stuff around the house
Dog takes too much time

Brush the dog, teach the dog to not roll in poop (pick up after the dog so there's no poop to roll in), use positive reinforcement to address any trivial issues.

A tiny bit of proactive work would drastically cut down on some of these issues.
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Old 10-17-2008, 09:35 AM   #22
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A tiny bit of proactive work would drastically cut down on some of these issues.
Uh, where's the drama in that?
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Old 10-17-2008, 09:42 AM   #23
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From reading your past posts, I believe you own your own business. Is there any way that you could take your dog to your place of business during your work hours? The dog would get some attention from you during that time and your home would get less dog mess during that time.
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:15 AM   #24
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I agree with everyone who said "take more responsibility for the dog yourself." If that's not possible because you're working too many hours, I think the groomer suggestion was a start. And I bet you could hire a neighborhood kid to walk her, too.

And yeah, how is the dog rolling in poo? Are your kids old enough that they can take responsibility for making sure there's none in the yard, and if they screw up, they have to bathe the dog?

Also, as someone who stayed/worked part time at home for several years, it occurs to me that maybe your wife is so focused on the dog because it's literally right in front of her all the time. I did the same thing with our dogs (although to be fair, one of ours did have serious behavior problems). Is your wife happy at home? Does she get out to do other things and spend time with other adults? Personally, being at home by myself all the time made me get a little weird. I wouldn't say I have OCD tendencies, but cleaning the house does make me feel better when I get stressed - something I can control, I guess.
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:18 AM   #25
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Dude, you need more time in your day. Welcome to life!! Competing demands on your time. You have to prioritize the things that bring you the most value and focus on those. It looks like you have prioritized what is most important when you say "...But i w*rk 70 hrs a week at times and put my kids #1 on the list when i get home, followed by eating, showering, wife, paperwork, then the dog."

If the dog is last on that list, maybe it is time to dump the dog. Focus on your family, hygiene, and your business(es) if they are most important to you. Better to live a harmonious life that brings joy to you and your family than live a life of constant battle with your family and that isn't a happy place for your family or the dog.

It sounds like your wife is very unhappy with the situation, so you need to respect her concerns and do what you can to address those concerns, which may include re-allocating some of your time to take better care of the dog, or making the sacrifice to get rid of the dog in order to make your family life much healthier.
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:27 AM   #26
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You do not have time for a dog. Period. Giving the dog to a good family is a win-win for everyone, especially the dog. Have them come visit and take the dog for walks, and play with her. She will love the new family in a few days.

Tell your wife "Honey, I've thought about it any you're right. I love the dog, but I love you more."
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:35 AM   #27
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Can you tell here who has dogs and who doesn't?

Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage. ~Agnes Repplier

The more I see of man, the more I like dogs. ~Mme. de Stal

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why. ~Author Unknown
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:44 AM   #28
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To answer some questions: yes, it was originally my dog. yes, i need to spend more time with her, but i w*rk 70 hrs a week at times and put my kids #1 on the list when i get home, followed by eating, showering, wife, paperwork, then the dog. unfortunately that's the way it is right now. the wife is home all day with the dog...she doesnt work int he traditional sense of the word.

i plan on taking a more active approach, unfortunately it had to come to this to realize i was slacking

wife suggested we make her an outside dog, but that to me is even worse than her situation now...not cool.

connie: that is my exact argument with her! It's not what our family is about. quitting because of our own faults in unacceptable and not a tendency i want to pass on to the kids. we need to be sure we're doing everything in our power first before considering other option



thanks for the input, keep it comin'! I'm sure ive got a good one coming from one of you crazy dog people out there....and i deserve it
You might as well face it; you like the idea of owning a dog for some reason but you are not a dog person.

I suspect your wife resents looking after a dog she doesn't want, and who can blame her. Did you fully consult her on the decision to get the dog?

The dog is better off in another home in the long run. It will only remember you r place for a short period as it is neglected.
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:58 AM   #29
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I'm totally on your wife's side in this argument. I see this quite a bit, someone wants a dog, then they spend so little time with the darn thing that it becomes just another possession. Anyone who is not prepared to spend time with their pets on a daily basis should have them taken away. Dogs needs attention, they need to be taken on long walks - hooking it up to a run is not really a lot of fun is it?

As to your wife being peeved about the dog's hair being everywhere, well I would be the same. No way would I allow a child to roll around on a rug after a dog who rolls in poop has rolled on the thing.

The bottom line is it is your dog, you need to take better care of it or pass it on to someone who can. Don't use your work as an excuse, get up earlier and take it for a walk or instead of sitting home watching television get out there walking the dog.

As to what message it would send to the kids, the truth is they will get over it. I see that with my sister's kids, they would trade their current dog in for something cuter and fluffier in a heartbeat. Of course if you told them their current dog was going away they would spend 30 minutes sobbing their eyes out before their attention was diverted to something else.
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:58 AM   #30
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Can you tell here who has dogs and who doesn't?
Hah! Very true! I think dogs are dirty unkempt animals that frequently smell bad and leave messes wherever they go. I feel the same way about my young toddlers. It's just that with my toddlers I fully expect them to slowly transition into increasingly smart, clean, well-groomed intelligent creatures that can assist with household duties. Someday. Hopefully. Maybe.

Or at the least we can get our kids potty trained by the time they are adults.
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Old 10-17-2008, 11:05 AM   #31
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Background: I'm a cat person as is DH but I get by with petting the neighbor cat once in awhile. Most of my other friends are serious dog people.
You and your wife have serious communication problems if she got so fed up with the dog that she was looking for a new home for the dog without discussing it with you first. You both are seriously neglecting your marriage.
You are neglecting your dog.
You are almost surely neglecting your children, too.
I've done the workaholic thing you're doing. Been there, done that, felt sorry for myself most of the time. It's not the road to happiness.
I hope you can figure this out yourself without a near death experience. That did it for me and a friend or too as well. If you think you may only have a few days left to live, you will not be feeling glad that you put in those extra work hours. You will be wishing you had one more chance to spend a sensuous vacation with your spouse, or a picnic with your kids, or even a walk with your dog.
Than again, maybe your priorities are different than most people. But you need to figure out what those priorities are, because right now it sounds like you are unhappy, your wife is unhappy, and your dog is too (kids too probably because they are aware of the tension between you and your spouse if nothing else).
Life is short. Get counseling. Make time for it. Delegate at your work. Take sick leave if necessary.
All this IMHO.
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Old 10-17-2008, 11:06 AM   #32
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i have 2 dogs, both humane society specials. when dh2b came into my life, i already had the dogs and purposely stepped back and let him establish himself as "leader of the pack". in his past life, he was the sole caretaker of 1 dog. nobody else helped.
the reason i mention this is he needed to assimilate to my 2 dogs and vice versa.
past rules: dog care is shared, top to bottom. we were both w*rking at the time.
today's rules: i do the majority since he is still w*rking. it's a time share issue now, not a "yours-mine" issue. and he just loves those dogs! i used to have dogs under my feet, but now they are "his"

i agree with the idea of a family meeting and a vote. those who vote "keep the dog" have to take an assignment (or 2 or 3 AND perform it) toward the dog's care and attention. if the voter fails to perform, their vote becomes a "give it away" by default. keep it democratic.

BTW, this was a big issue in my family as a child. mom wanted a dog for 5 kids, dad absolutely did not. i can tell you we 5 kids resented dad a lot for his constant complaining, cuz we just loved that dog. and we 5 kids all took care of it. democracy ruled!

PS the family dog used to roll in dead fish on the shore when we took it for a swim. we learned to bring shampoo or keep it on the leash.
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Old 10-17-2008, 12:21 PM   #33
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There are a lot of problems here. Different expectations. Different tolerance of "normal dog stuff" and disconnect on who should be responsible for taking care of the dog to which person's standards. You need a lot of talking with your wife and likely some careful looking at what you can do.

If after all that you end up finding a new home for the dog, be careful with kids. Saying "I'm sorry kids but Mom is such a neat freak, she's making us get rid of your favorite pet dog" is not going to leave anyone happy with the situation. Same goes if you say something innocouus, but kids know that's what you really mean. Be careful.
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Old 10-17-2008, 12:33 PM   #34
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Can you tell here who has dogs and who doesn't?
But Sarah, wouldn't you agree that to condemn a dog (or any animal) to a life of not enough exercise, attention, love and time is unfair? You do border collie rescue, right? Surely it's better for those dogs to have second chances at a life that better meets their needs. I'll be eternally grateful to the family who sent our lab to the Humane Society. We've got a wonderful family dog; she's got a good home, with lots of attention, care and exercise. Maybe it would have been better for her if her prior owners had been able to care for her and meet all her needs, but it was better for us that they couldn't.

I completely agree with the posts on taking responsibility and moral compassion, and I agree that pets are not disposable. But to me, finding an uncared-for pet a new home isn't disposing of them -- it's being responsible to that animal's needs and cognizant of the current owner's limitations.

Of course, if the Fed does decide to rehome the dog, then the Fed (and kids, wife, etc.) shouldn't be getting another dog or pet. Maybe ever.
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Old 10-17-2008, 12:37 PM   #35
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I talked it over with Bandit.... our 7+ yr old rescue dog.



He thinks your dog should get a new pack to run with.
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Old 10-17-2008, 12:47 PM   #36
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these 2 say "take a vote"
in their internet debut, we have "Rocket Dog" on the left, "The Big Guy" on the right [not their real names].
Attached Images
File Type: jpg DCP_1369.JPG (1.15 MB, 2 views)
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Old 10-17-2008, 03:02 PM   #37
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I talked it over with Bandit.... our 7+ yr old rescue dog. He thinks your dog should get a new pack to run with.
I think Bandit is a pretty wise soul.
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Old 10-17-2008, 03:13 PM   #38
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You may have your sites set to high with the kids
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Old 10-17-2008, 03:33 PM   #39
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Remember that Godfather movie where a proposal he can't refuse is made to the movie producer? Snuff the puppy, plant the pup's head in your bed next to your wife. She'll think twice about chirping up in the future. Uppity dang womens!











(sender does not advocate acting on this very tongue-in-cheek suggestion)
(sender just finished cleaning cat vomit from old grandpa indoor cat off two oriental rugs - not a problem, just age)
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Old 10-17-2008, 03:48 PM   #40
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Make a list

hair on back dog yes wife no advantage wife

good kisser dog no wife yes advantage wife

happy to see you at
any hour of the day dog yes wife no advantage dog

can take a nap with you dog yes wife yes PUSH
wakes you up from the nap for no good reason dog no wife yes advantage dog

and keep going to see where this takes you.
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