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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 02:38 PM   #21
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

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Originally Posted by cube_rat

If she's still having symptoms, she's probably reliving the trauma and wondering "when it will it happen again".* That's called the 2nd fear or anticipatory anxiety which keeps one hypervigilant and tense.* It's a perfect set-up for another panic attack.* *The key is breaking that 2nd fear.* I recommend her reading "help and hope for your nerves" by Claire Weeks and "The Anxiety and Phobia workbook" by Edmund Bourne.* There are other excellent books as well.
Cube: Thank you for elaborating on this problem.

My wife had the biggest problem with the above quote. (Fear and anxiety of having to face another attack). She's worked it out, and has been over 20 years since she's had a problem.

Not a laughing matter, for sure.



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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 02:43 PM   #22
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

cube -

If you don't mind me asking, do you suffer from an anxiety disorder? *I think I have all of the symptoms - get really hot and sweaty in front of people (center of attention) or when people bombard me with questions (put me on the spot), very introverted, heart beat races, hard time talking/breathing - but I can't gather up the courage to go to the doctor about it.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 03:06 PM   #23
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildcat
cube -

If you don't mind me asking, do you suffer from an anxiety disorder?
I proudly admit that I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and Panic Attacks with a little bit of OCD thrown in for good measure, at least this is what doctors have told me in the past. I had my first panic attack after my second child was born at the age of 20. I've lived with this stuff off and on for 24 years. Antidepressants like Paxil made me fat in addition to the other horrible side effects!! I'm still slowly losing the SSRI weight gain. IMHO, CBT and the occasional benzodiazipine as needed works the best

WC - What you're experiencing is pretty common. Don't be afraid or ashamed to speak with your doctor about it.

For the most part I do very well in front of a large crowd. But sometimes I can get sooo jittery and anxious I want to run out of the room. I recall recently speaking with a huge big wig VP in her office, I was so anxious that I was pacing back and forth in her office hoping my heart wouldn't beat out of my chest. She looked like she was watching a tennis match
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 03:11 PM   #24
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarhead*
Cube: Thank you for elaborating on this problem.

My wife had the biggest problem with the above quote. (Fear and anxiety of having to face another attack). She's worked it out, and has been over 20 years since she's had a problem.

Not a laughing matter, for sure.



Jarhead - I'm glad to hear you wife is doing great. Can I ask you a question? How old was she when she went through this stuff? The reason why I'm asking is panic attacks can be triggered by 40's female hormonal shifts.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 06:22 PM   #25
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Hi Laurence,

So sorry about your wfie's stressful day but she is going through a lot. (I've been reading trying to catch up since I haven't been on board for awhile).* As for you, those domestic violence questions are SOP in healthcare these days.* We are supposed to ask everyone!! We don't screen for who looks likely, cause you just never know!

Good Luck and make sure you tell her daily that you appreciate the work she's doing!

Judy
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 07:16 PM   #26
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
Jarhead - I'm glad to hear you wife is doing great.* Can I ask you a question?* How old was she when she went through this stuff?* The reason why I'm asking is panic attacks can be triggered by 40's female hormonal shifts.
Cube: She was in her early 40's, so that's a possibility.

It was also a period of time when my kids were teen-agers. (Hell, I'm pretty easy going, and they managed to get me worked up on occassion)

In any case, apparantly that seems to be behind her now. She darn sure doesn't "gunny sack" any thoughts when it comes to dealing with me.

You sound like you have educated yourself re: this problem.

Hope you continue to get a handle on it.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 07:49 PM   #27
 
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

I'm glad it wasn't serious, and hope she feels better soon.

If it makes her feel better, let her know that that was the best last day of work story on the forum, and I think it will be for a long time. Leaving work for the last time in an ambulance -- that's style!
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 08:56 PM   #28
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

For real, everyone at her work joked it would be the most memorable exit interview ever! Also, her work has undergone the shift from small family style business to big bad megacorp over the last year, and everyone said, "look, look what this place is doing to people!".

The thing is, I'm the type that's very animated and usually acts more stressed out than DW, but I guess I just spit the stress out as soon as I get it, and like Odie, I'm fascinated by a shiny object 20 seconds later.

I think she is exerperiencing that secondary, "when is it going to happen again" thing, plus she's been totally lethargic and wiped out all weekend. I really hope this isn't something she has to manage long term, but if it is, we'll deal with it.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-16-2006, 11:34 PM   #29
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Laurence, it occurs to me that your wife may also be stressed about changing from being a full-time employee to basically running her own business from home. I would give her lots of reassurance about this, as well as her abilities as a mother and businesswoman, family finances, and anything else she may be worrying about due to this change in her life (missing adult companionship? lunch with work friends? having to deal more with an annoying neighbor?). She might even be worrying about taking full charge of Tori and your home, rather than sharing that responsibility more with you and care-givers. Whatever the cause, I hope that relaxing into a new routine will relieve the stress. Good luck to you both!
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-17-2006, 05:09 AM   #30
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

First of all, I want to tell you how much I like seeing pics of your adorable daughter and you speak of your family with such love and pride.

Once things settle down if she is still fearful or anxious, a good counselor can help. You are starting a whole new life, when one person becomes a full time caretaker the roles change and no matter how much you love each other and your daughter there will be challenges.

I must say after being involved in corporate america for many years, and this parellels the experience of my friends, the pressure and greed is much worse now than I have ever seen. The people at the top are getting obscene bonuses with the actual workers being told to work smart and do more with less.

The pressure is immense.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-17-2006, 06:05 PM   #31
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Took ex-DW to the ER several times for "panic attacks". Amazing what a shot of demerol can do... :P
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-17-2006, 06:07 PM   #32
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

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Amazing what a shot of demerol can do...
Interesting...what did they give your exwife?
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-17-2006, 07:39 PM   #33
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

"Give me 50cc's of ketamine, STAT...and get something for that patient too..."
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-17-2006, 08:02 PM   #34
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

You know, at one point this weekend I went to get DW's pill and a glass of water to bring up to her in bed, and I looked into the jar and said, "I wonder if this packs an awesome buzz?". I resisted my curiosity.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-17-2006, 10:28 PM   #35
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Laurence,
Tell her she's added a new dimension of meaning to the term "ER".

Seriously, hope she is better now, and she has her whole life ahead to rebuild. It does highlight how stressful not only work itself, but also the whole idea of leaving work can be. Big psychological side to stepping out of the normal routines.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-18-2006, 04:11 PM   #36
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Laurence, thank you for sharing the story of your wife's last day at the office. What an exit!
My office lunch friend had her first panic attack a few weeks ago while we were out to lunch. I was with her at the time and it was a frightening ordeal. I thought she was having a heart attack and wanted to call the paramedics She calmed down, and we went back to the office, and I called her husband. She went to the doctor that afternoon and prescribed Xanax. Also, she saw a cardiologist to rule out any heart problems & she was tested the end of last week for thyroid disease and she is awaiting the results of that test. Doctor wants her to exercise more to relieve stress symptoms.
You were sweet to offer to send your wife to a spa for the day. Good idea.
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day
Old 04-19-2006, 03:31 PM   #37
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Re: My wife's very stressful last day

Hi Lawrence,

Hope your wife is feeling better, i suffer/ed from anxiety and depression in the past unfortunately i used to use alcohol to deal with the issues which of course is a big mistake - but what works wonders for me is to be out in the country with the fresh air, nature etc, a good long walk in the country to clear the mind and put things into perspective really does wonders, and far better than a large glass (bottles) of wine
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