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Old 12-07-2015, 02:40 PM   #21
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WADR, why do other's opinions matter?
A good point, IMO (if that matters ). I'm interested in other's opinion from the view of what I can learn from them. Did I miss something, maybe they will show an unintended bias on my side, or something?

Otherwise, what does it matter?

Though sometimes it just makes me wonder - why would someone think like that?

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Old 12-07-2015, 03:04 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by ERD50 View Post
A good point, IMO (if that matters ). I'm interested in other's opinion from the view of what I can learn from them. Did I miss something, maybe they will show an unintended bias on my side, or something?

Otherwise, what does it matter?

Though sometimes it just makes me wonder - why would someone think like that?

-ERD50
Is this really all that hard to understand? We are humans after all. So yes, other people's opinions can and do matter to us. Certainly at least to me. Not to say I'll listen and always only do what matches other folks opinions. But those close to us, that we care about, certainly influence us. I'm not a robot without emotion.
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Old 12-07-2015, 03:12 PM   #23
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Is this really all that hard to understand? We are humans after all. So yes, other people's opinions can and do matter to us. Certainly at least to me. Not to say I'll listen and always only do what matches other folks opinions. But those close to us, that we care about, certainly influence us. I'm not a robot without emotion.
I don't think it has anything to do with being robotic. It's just if I decide I want to do something, then why do I need to be so concerned about what other's think? Do I need their 'approval'? Just do it ( outside of what I discussed, listening to opinions to see if something is off with my thinking ).

-ERD50
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Old 12-07-2015, 03:26 PM   #24
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WADR, why do other's opinions matter?
Not sure who your WADR is aimed at, but other's opinions shouldn't in the final analysis, that's the point. Lots of people let naysayers talk them out of their hopes and dreams whether big or small, probably more than not. There are legit naysayers of course, but they're outnumbered by naysayers who are thinking of themselves, their own fears and shortcomings.

I'm sure you've heard the adage "Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did." Most of the best experiences in my life have been the ones most of my contemporaries wouldn't have done - I hope I ever forget that. YMMV
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Old 12-07-2015, 03:41 PM   #25
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I can honestly say there is nothing that I really wanted to do that I haven't done. I have never felt the need for other peoples support of my choices/goals. I have never been the best at anything I have attempted but I ended up being better than most at almost everything I have attempted. Does that make sense? I am not a perfectionist so I am content being in the 90-95% in almost everything attempted. A lesson learned a long time ago is that there is always someone faster, smarter, taller, bigger, etc... When the Bear came, I was not the fastest. I was just faster than the Bear's appetite. I rarely get jealous and for the most part support others and their hopes and dreams.

I look at life as a series of wins. Graduated high school=win-not everyone does. Graduated college=win, got married-still married 23 years later=win. Two healthy kids=win. Two kids in college=win, ... FI=win. There have been some hiccups. Son was born a month before we got married. Not afraid to fail. I learn a lot when I fail. I feel that many people on this forum are in the same boat. Successful but maybe a bump or two in the road that they have overcome. I am happy for the couple in the OP because they did what they want. I am doing what I want. I hope that all of you do what you want to do and accomplish what you set out to do.
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Old 12-07-2015, 04:25 PM   #26
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I don't think it has anything to do with being robotic. It's just if I decide I want to do something, then why do I need to be so concerned about what other's think? Do I need their 'approval'? Just do it ( outside of what I discussed, listening to opinions to see if something is off with my thinking ).

-ERD50
I understand your view. And I feel like I end up usually in the same place you describe. Doing what I want regardless if others disagree. But it's not automatic. And it's not always obvious and easy to get there. I guess for me, opinions of others sometimes do matter. Especially loved ones opinions.

Muir
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Old 12-07-2015, 11:21 PM   #27
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I may be reading your comments in a way they weren't intended,
Yes
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Old 12-08-2015, 05:55 AM   #28
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There is a corollary to the naysayer truth:

"Failure is an orphan but success has a thousand fathers."

Most of my career has been about driving innovation (product, sales channel, operating models, etc.). In every instance there is a herd of people saying that it's all doomed, the economics will never work, the technology is too immature, yada yada yada.

Invariably, they are the first ones in line talking about how brilliant the new business is and then write resumes filled with the outcomes of these innovations that say

"Participated in the the successful development of xyz which delivered $y of growth"

when the real bullet should say

"Pissed and moaned that business xyz was doomed to failure, product was delivered over my objections and political intrigue, and I'm now fortunate to suck income off this business while throwing out the same objections and intrigue to the next new item."

I've walked past conference rooms full of people working on things -- and who's jobs are now tied to things -- that they fought and undermined when they started.

Of course, I've had my share of failures and misses -- yet amazingly, I don't see these folks lining up to say "yeah, this failed and my undermining it for 24 months might have had something to do with that!"
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Old 12-08-2015, 06:29 AM   #29
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I listened to "Jeno" Paulucci at an MBA class and he talked about naysayers, although he may have called them something else.

He talked about his Chun King idea in the presentation. He said, "can you imagine, a son of Italian immigrants, opening up a Chinese restaurant, in Northern Minnesota?" This was in the 60s before Chinese food was even popular. He got all sorts of naysayers. He also went on to become a multi-millionaire.
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Old 12-08-2015, 07:21 AM   #30
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The naysayers I see referred to here are not simply crabs harshing somebody's mellow because they just like to do that. They are among The Knowing. The Knowledgeable. The Experienced. People who understand how shat works. The conclusion of those people is not: That won't work, you jerkface. (Simple Naysaying) It's: That endeavor, given all that is known and knowable in conjunction with experience and insight, is not likely to be successful (Wrongfully perceived and depicted as naysaying)

The person claiming or attempting to claim credit for the endeavor's unexpected success, simply beat the odds. Stood there. Did whatever it was they did. Got lucky. Not an achievement.

Now of course there are people that will deliberately emit interference to scuttle an idea and when it doesn't work say "I told you so." Politics is the art of this. The world will never know what the real results would have been.

Previous naysayers later wanting their fingerprints on an unexpected success? In most cases if you're part of the same organization even those who were against the idea always end up facilitating it in some way anyway. People outside the organization wouldn't be in a position to claim credit anyway.
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