Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Need advice on how to deal with this request
Old 08-18-2010, 08:51 AM   #1
Full time employment: Posting here.
Moscyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 728
Need advice on how to deal with this request

Must have happened to many people before. One of my friends want me to pass on her CV for a job in my firm to the Head of a certain department. The thing is I don't think I want to recommend my friend to a job in my firm solely based on performance issues. She is a good friend but not necessarily a strong performer. Also, I know she can't work under pressure any job in my firm comes with pressure. I will most probably say no to her but don't know what reason to give. Or I could pass on her CV and if asked for a view, say I can't comment on performance but just that she is of good character? Sounds a bit lame. Any advice?
__________________

__________________
Moscyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 08-18-2010, 09:01 AM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,156
I'd pass along the CV saying only, "I promised a friend I would do this and I'm honoring my promise." Whenever I got a resume with a similar comment the message was very clear.
__________________

__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 10:58 AM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Gotadimple's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,765
Or take the CV and don't pass it on -- and don't tell!

-- Rita
__________________
Only got A dimple, would have preferred 2!
Gotadimple is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 11:53 AM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Naples
Posts: 2,162
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gotadimple View Post
Or take the CV and don't pass it on -- and don't tell!

-- Rita
This idea could come back to haunt you. Whether that person gets the job or not, sometime/somehow/somewhere that conversation could come up and they could find out that the recommendation was never passed along.

I'd go with REWhoo's method.
__________________
JOHNNIE36 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 11:56 AM   #5
Recycles dryer sheets
Carnage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 76
REWahoo's idea is brilliant. When I was asked by a friend, I made it sounds as if the hiring boss was difficult to work with.
__________________
Carnage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 11:56 AM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
dex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
I'd pass along the CV saying only, "I promised a friend I would do this and I'm honoring my promise." Whenever I got a resume with a similar comment the message was very clear.
How do you think that reflects on you?

If, I were on the receiving end of that CV I would think you can't handle confronting the friend and pushing off dealing with it to me - even if I never called the friend.
__________________
Sometimes death is not as tragic as not knowing how to live. This man knew how to live--and how to make others glad they were living. - Jack Benny at Nat King Cole's funeral
dex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 12:01 PM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,156
Quote:
Originally Posted by dex View Post
How do you think that reflects on you?

If, I were on the receiving end of that CV I would think you can't handle confronting the friend and pushing off dealing with it to me - even if I never called the friend.
I think it reflects that I'm keeping a promise to a friend and not attempting to deceive my employer. But that's just me.
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 12:03 PM   #8
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,950
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
I'd pass along the CV saying only, "I promised a friend I would do this and I'm honoring my promise." Whenever I got a resume with a similar comment the message was very clear.
This is what I would do, too. Then if directly asked, I would be quite frank that I am not vouching for her performance and skills (I might claim ignorance, as a white lie) but that she is a good friend and we get along well.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 12:04 PM   #9
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
dex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moscyn View Post
Must have happened to many people before. One of my friends want me to pass on her CV for a job in my firm to the Head of a certain department. The thing is I don't think I want to recommend my friend to a job in my firm solely based on performance issues. She is a good friend but not necessarily a strong performer. Also, I know she can't work under pressure any job in my firm comes with pressure. I will most probably say no to her but don't know what reason to give. Or I could pass on her CV and if asked for a view, say I can't comment on performance but just that she is of good character? Sounds a bit lame. Any advice?
Besides the issues you mention; does she have the qualifications needed to get a job with the manager?

Do you know the standards for the area e.g. they require a MBA and your friend does not have one?

The people you recommend are a reflection on you.
__________________
Sometimes death is not as tragic as not knowing how to live. This man knew how to live--and how to make others glad they were living. - Jack Benny at Nat King Cole's funeral
dex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 12:05 PM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
dex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
I think it reflects that I'm keeping a promise to a friend and not attempting to deceive my employer. But that's just me.
True, but why did you make the promise to the friend knowing you would not ultimately recommend her for a position?
__________________
Sometimes death is not as tragic as not knowing how to live. This man knew how to live--and how to make others glad they were living. - Jack Benny at Nat King Cole's funeral
dex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 12:43 PM   #11
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
RunningBum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,202
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
I'd pass along the CV saying only, "I promised a friend I would do this and I'm honoring my promise." Whenever I got a resume with a similar comment the message was very clear.
I agree with this. In fact a lot of us used to get resumes from former co-workers, some of whom we didn't think should be considered, so our HR dept even told us what lingo to use to flag it. I forget what that was. That way we didn't burn any bridges in our old jobs or harm any friendships, and if they called, HR could tell them their resume was on file for consideration. It took very little of anyone's time.

If you want to tell the person No directly, good for you, but I never saw any gain in doing so.
__________________
RunningBum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 12:45 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,156
Quote:
Originally Posted by RunningBum View Post

If you want to tell the person No directly, good for you, but I never saw any gain in doing so.
I see it as a way to reduce the number of pesky friendships you have to maintain in retirement.
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 01:04 PM   #13
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
RunningBum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,202
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
I see it as a way to reduce the number of pesky friendships you have to maintain in retirement.
Well that is one benefit!

On a practical side, I don't want that person going back and badmouthing me and my company for not even taking the resume to a co-worker that I really would want to come work with me. That might discourage that person from approaching me or the company.
__________________
RunningBum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 01:07 PM   #14
Moderator Emeritus
CuppaJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,866
One method I've seen work is to tell her there is a similar opening at another company, (the one we no longer do joint projects with). She got that job and stayed out of our hair.
__________________
CuppaJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 01:23 PM   #15
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,657
I think REWahoo has the right idea. I have friends I like who I wouldn't hire or recommend because I don't think they would give what it takes on a particular job. I still like them and wouldn't want to be brutally frank in an area I expect they would be in denial on. If the manager in question asked for more specific info I would explain my perceptions. On the other hand, if the friend asked my advice about their capacity to handle the job or something I would be frank (without being brutal) and point out things they have said and done that conflict with the demands of the work.
__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 01:28 PM   #16
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,620
Quote:
Originally Posted by donheff View Post
I think REWahoo has the right idea. I have friends I like who I wouldn't hire or recommend because I don't think they would give what it takes on a particular job. I still like them and wouldn't want to be brutally frank in an area I expect they would be in denial on. If the manager in question asked for more specific info I would explain my perceptions. On the other hand, if the friend asked my advice about their capacity to handle the job or something I would be frank (without being brutal) and point out things they have said and done that conflict with the demands of the work.
If queried by the boss I'd further amplify my diplomatic opinion by saying "I can confirm that she's been my friend since 19xx and has performed satisfactorily at that task. Please refer all subsequent questions to our HR and legal departments."

Reminds me of tenant history checks. You don't want to talk to their current landlord-- you want to talk to one of their landlords who hopes he never has to deal with them again.
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 01:38 PM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,657
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords View Post
If queried by the boss I'd further amplify my diplomatic opinion by saying "I can confirm that she's been my friend since 19xx and has performed satisfactorily at that task. Please refer all subsequent questions to our HR and legal departments."
- perfect!
__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 01:51 PM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Indialantic FL
Posts: 1,202
Too bad the friend didn't just tell you that she applied for a job at your company. Then if he/she was worth a darn, you could say the appropriate words to the right people. I think since you appear to be having misgivings about doing as she has requested, you should go with your gut. I think you know what you really want to do, and you should do it. Let the chips fall where they will.
__________________
JimnJana
"The four most dangerous words in investing are 'This time it's different.'" - Sir John Templeton
jimnjana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2010, 02:04 PM   #19
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 281
How about this - That department doesn't have any openings for someone with your skill set right now. If I hear about something opening up that is a good match I'll let you know and be sure and pass along your resume then.
__________________
TooFrugal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2010, 09:37 AM   #20
Full time employment: Posting here.
Moscyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 728
Thanks, everyone. I think ReWahoo's approach is great. In fact, I've received a few CVs from others with language along the lines he recommended. Also, what Dex mentioned "The people you recommend are a reflection on you." is clearly what I think too. My friend has the educational qualifications and some related experience but yet she will not measure up in this situation. I also don't want to tell any lies because I meet with her regularly for dinner/drinks and wouldn't want anything to creep up to haunt me! Great advice, everyone.
__________________

__________________
Moscyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Intro and Request for Advice re: My ER Preview EagleEye Hi, I am... 42 08-11-2008 02:07 PM
Request for new category jeff2006 Forum Admin 5 08-15-2006 04:26 PM
A request to the moderators greg Other topics 4 12-02-2005 04:52 PM
Cheap computer deal through 8/15 - new deal! cute fuzzy bunny Other topics 55 11-24-2004 11:04 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:55 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.