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Old 07-03-2007, 12:15 PM   #21
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It would be interesting to know how many ER people do not have children, or people aspiring to ER.
Read all about it here: How many children

A little over a third here have no children, compared to only 20% of the US. Here about 15% have 3+, while about 30% of the US does.
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Old 07-03-2007, 12:22 PM   #22
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Read all about it here: How many children

A little over a third here have no children, compared to only 20% of the US. Here about 15% have 3+, while about 30% of the US does.

Great job bongo2. That's a perfect example of a constructive post!
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Old 07-03-2007, 12:44 PM   #23
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i definitely think more people should DECIDE not to have kids...seems like both of my sisters aren't likely candidates for little ones, so they just have more energy and $ to spoil mine more!

it is definitely harder than imagined, but again, i really wanted them. if i was unsure i wanted them, had them and reeling at the level of effort, i'd be pissed!
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Old 07-03-2007, 01:51 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bongo2 View Post
Read all about it here: How many children

A little over a third here have no children, compared to only 20% of the US. Here about 15% have 3+, while about 30% of the US does.
So, a LOT of the FIRE folks on here had no children, most likely by choice.

Until you have children, you don't know what the REAL COST is. Our budget planning for children was WAY too small...........
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Old 07-03-2007, 02:54 PM   #25
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I've heard that kids can keep you from doing the things you want. Because of that we held off for 5 years before we decided to have a child. It wasn't as hard as I thought although it had more of an impact on me than I thought.
We've figured out how to have our kid and enjoy life although in some unorthodox ways (moving to Panama for one). For instance, when our home is completed there won't be adequate schooling near by so we decided to home school for the foreseable future. Having kids and living your dreams sometimes takes sacrifice on both the parents and the kids.
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Old 07-03-2007, 03:48 PM   #26
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Well, the Buddha did have a son, but remember that he wandered off to find enlightenment and left the wife and child......his son did become a diciple, but came back into the Buddha's life AFTER enlightenment.

That said......

I had mine quite young. I love 'em, but if I'd known then what I know now? Who knows?

Both of mine married, but neither has kids, so I haven't had that special enjoyment of watching them go through with theirs, what I went through with them.........

It IS a life sentence, because even after they're grown, you worry about them, and they hold your heart hostage, no matter what.

LooseChickens
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Old 07-03-2007, 04:31 PM   #27
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I see many couples or singles who do not appear to abe happy with their situation (having children). The sad thing about this is that they never made the decision to have children. They made the decision to have sex with no throught to the consequences. Children just naturally come along as the result of sex unless plans are made otherwise.
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Old 07-03-2007, 09:55 PM   #28
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The young wife and I sort of drifted into childlessness. When we first got married, we expected that we would have chidren one day. However, I was in the Navy at the time and it didn't seem to be right. I left the Navy two years later, but then she was in graduate school, and following that I was in law school. Then of course we both had new careers to get off on the right track. Suddenly, we found that we were in our late thirties, without children and pretty much enjoying our lives that way. So we just never did.

We both like children and have very much enjoyed playing a role in the lives of our 8 nephews and one niece. But I can't say I have any regrets that we didn't have our own.
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Old 07-03-2007, 10:31 PM   #29
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No kids. No plans. Surgery to enforce the decision (and I'm not having it reversed, thank you very much).

Adoption down the road is a strong possibility.
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Old 07-04-2007, 01:24 AM   #30
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If you really want children, by all means, have children! If you don't or aren't sure, please don't! Nothing breaks my heart more than the thought of an unwanted child. My two daughters are the bright part of every day....even when it's 2 in the morning. But each person makes an individual decision that is right for them.

Financially, so far it's been less of a hit than we planned for. I'm still on track for RE by 55, worst case scenario.
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Old 07-04-2007, 02:57 AM   #31
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I never had a desire for children, and that is the main reason I have stayed single. I did always think that maybe if I met the right soulmate that I might change my mind. But it is personally difficult for me to conceive how someone would want to have kids, so I figured it must be something that I just couldn't fully understand and so maybe my mind would change when I finally understood it or matured to a certain point. But so far that has never happened. This has always been an area of curiosity for me, and so I have asked many people about their experiences raising kids and usually they are happy about it after the fact.

A good friend just called me the other day. He found out about a year ago that he and his wife could not have children due to a condition he has. They were devastated. They would like me to write a recommendation to an adoption agency for them (they are adopting abroad), which I will happily do.

But I did think to myself how something that I did not have a desire for at all devastated them when they found out they couldn't have the same thing.

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Old 07-04-2007, 09:23 AM   #32
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If you really want children, by all means, have children! If you don't or aren't sure, please don't! Nothing breaks my heart more than the thought of an unwanted child. My two daughters are the bright part of every day....even when it's 2 in the morning. But each person makes an individual decision that is right for you.
I agree completely. I am so glad that I had my 2 children, but they are hard work and they deserve your complete attention to them for many, many years. There are definitely some people who have had children, that should never have been allowed to have them. My son, age 29 and never married, told me the other day that he does not really believe in marriage and does not want any children. I know that he can change his mind, but if that is how he truly feels, then I hope that he never has any children.
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Old 07-08-2007, 10:28 AM   #33
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I get so upset when I hear women talking about having problems with their boyfriends or husbands and their crazy logic that getting pregnant will solve everything.
I am not married and I don't have kids; however, if I were to meet someone who was the perfect complement to me and we both were happy with ourselves and each other.....and we both wanted a child.....only then, I would be willing to bring a child into the world.
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