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Old 04-28-2012, 08:54 PM   #41
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To me this is less about rudeness and more about a nation that gets less homogeneous every year. Once upon a time there was a shared definition of polite, rude, civility, incivility, right, wrong, etc. Now it seems there are a thousand mini-cultures instead of a single American perspective. If young people are raised in a thousand different ways... what you think of as rude may be acceptable behavior to them. How can we ever tell?

What's the old saying? "One should never attribute to malice that which may be adequately explained by stupidity." Or ignorance. Or alcohol. Or being on a cell phone at the time.

My Southern advice is to bless their hearts and move on. :-)
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Old 04-28-2012, 10:11 PM   #42
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Some interesting responses. The thread wasn't about pet peeves, it was more have we all helped enable these acts by fellow citizens in part because so few people speak up anymore. The expressholes have learned that consequences are highly unlikely, so why not! Imagine if it was more typical for people to speak up, and if the expresshole was hostile/unapologetic, everyone on line would make a statement? Not expecting anyone to go after a line cutting kickboxer, but that's not always the case. I'm pretty sure doing nothing or waiting for someone else won't change anything, probably make bad behavior even more common.

Again the bad kid at school. When I was a kid if my teacher told my parents (or any kid-parent) I was misbehaving at school, they would apologize to the teacher and let me have it that night. Now you hear about parents who immediately say 'my little angel wouldn't do that, you leave him/her alone or I'll sue you.' Did the teachers change, or the parents? Is it any wonder teachers are reluctant to deal with parents? Any wonder that kids push the behavior envelope more than ever? Is all this conducive to educating kids?

You can walk through example after example. No amount of "rules" will matter if there's no peer pressure to reinforce better behavior. Will they?

Again, I've just been doing some thought provoking reading along these lines, I'm still grappling with the ideas. And again, this applies to many acts, many larger than expressholes.
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Old 04-29-2012, 12:23 AM   #43
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I think this all comes down to the entitlement mindset too many people have. It is reinforced everywhere. The government, parents, teachers. People are taught they are owed something by someone. I see it everywhere. Driving, Disneyland, grocery stores, restaurants, you name it. "What? There's rule? Well, those don't apply to me. I'm special. I deserve it."

I still think (hope) those people that think that way are the minority but if they are, the majority sure as hell isn't doing much about it. We shake out heads, we get mad, we might even say something. These self absorbed brats look at you like your the one out of line. That's if you're lucky. You might get a gaggle of them gang up on you and wag their fingers at you for being so selfish!

Unfortunately, these societal shifts require societal correction. You or I aren't going to teach these people to behave. Hell, they'd have to be able to admit they might be wrong in the first place. Trying to lecture someone is a fools' errand. Maybe personally satisfying, but hardly effective.
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Old 04-29-2012, 12:29 AM   #44
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I'm not the road rage type (at all), but the one that really irks me is people running or rolling through stop sign to the point where you have to break pretty heavily to avoid hitting them from the main road... and then they continue driving 5-10 mph below the speed limit. Mostly mini-vans... mostly chatting on their cell phones...

I'm still confused about how all cell phone use hasn't been banned yet in cars... at least to the point of hands free! I swear those drivers are more dangerous than the drunks...
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Old 04-29-2012, 07:30 AM   #45
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Personally, in the store check-out line, I'm always glad that I have the time to wait if necessary and am not under the time pressure most people are. In general, I avoid shopping at busy times.

So, I'm generally not inclined to say anything in those circumstances as I so rarely see the abuse. If I ever noticed a "repeat" offender, I would likely say something.

In terms of cutting in line - yes, I say something and I notice people are much more inclined to protest line cutters.

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Old 04-29-2012, 07:37 AM   #46
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At the '10 items or less' line at my grocery store, there's one cashier who will tell people that she gets to eat anything over 10 items. She'll still ring them up, but it's a light-hearted way of telling the person they have too many items without causing a big confrontation.
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Old 04-29-2012, 09:00 AM   #47
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A single queue for 8 registers is unusual, not something people are expecting. I would not expect it. Is there a sign saying it's a single queue? Are all the shoppers regulars at that store, so they know the drill?

An American line often resembles an amoeba, and not everyone is quick on the uptake.

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I speak up but use a polite tone of voice.

There is a single queue for the self check registers at our local WalMart. People frequently walk up and go stand directly behind someone who is finishing up. My stock phrase is 'excuse me, but there is a single line for all eight of these registers. Please get in line with the rest of us.' I've yet to have anyone ignore me, male or female.
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Old 04-29-2012, 09:06 AM   #48
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A single queue for 8 registers is unusual, not something people are expecting.
All the self check registers in my area use the single queue method. There are about a half dozen stores I frequent with self-check and they all work this way. In fact, I have never seen a self check with separate queues. I assumed it was to make it easier on the one store employee overseeing the multiple registers, because around here they all have a single queue to feed the self-check stations. Regular checkout still uses a separate queue for each checker in each of these places.
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:04 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by JoeDreaming View Post
At the '10 items or less' line at my grocery store, there's one cashier who will tell people that she gets to eat anything over 10 items. She'll still ring them up, but it's a light-hearted way of telling the person they have too many items without causing a big confrontation.
But the light-hearted approach is a way of giving permission. "You didn't follow the rules, but it's OK, ha ha."

There are two reasons to not say anything:

1. I shouldn't give in to my urge to correct everyone.

2. Consider how you will feel if the person totally ignores you, or says "Get a life, A$$hole." That's going to annoy you for a few hours.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:00 AM   #50
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I'll bet this thread goes for 10 pages.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:07 AM   #51
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I'll bet this thread goes for 10 pages.
I know, but I can feel a collective sigh of relief as the steam is released.

Does anyone else have dogs poop next to their mailbox?
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:16 AM   #52
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I suggest the NRA get involved with a new campaign. "Stand your ground. An armed shopper is a safe shopper." Legislation making it OK to shoot folks in line with too many items should eventually lead to a drop in the offense rate.

Think of it as evolution in action...
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:34 AM   #53
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Mulligan,
You’re onto one of my biggest pet peeves. Putting the cell phone ahead of your immediate person to person conversation. I think it is the rudest behavior every, and very common.
Also constantly monitoring your text messages while conversing with others.
I just walk away from people if they do this.

JP
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:39 AM   #54
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I know, but I can feel a collective sigh of relief as the steam is released.

Does anyone else have dogs poop next to their mailbox?
Just deer or wild turkey poop.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:44 AM   #55
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I know, but I can feel a collective sigh of relief as the steam is released.

Does anyone else have dogs poop next to their mailbox?
No, but a previous next-door neighbor with 3 full-time outdoor cats was my great fortune to deal with. I would do my flower plantings and sure enough, these critters would come over and dig up the young plants and do their business in my flower beds. My 2 dogs were in the garage while I was at w*rk.
I used all sorts of methods (humane) to outsmart them, but a wooden stockade and chainlink combination fence was the final answer.
I heard from the neighbor on the other side that the cats decided to change their litter box location to his wife's flower beds.
And then there were the empty beer cans that the underage son and his buddies used to throw in my yard so the frequently absent parents wouldn't find the empties. I threw the cans right back over into their yard. That nonsense finally stopped...
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:45 AM   #56
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I'm with you Midpack, where does this stuff stop when people will not speak up. A little different situation, but I will always say something when I see someone parking in a handicap parking space without a plate or placard and no obvious impairment. Sometimes they just ignore me, but some are pretty defensive and say something like mind your own business.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:51 AM   #57
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Does anyone else have dogs poop next to their mailbox?
Have you ever seen how high a standard poodle can jump from the squatted-ready-to-poop position when they're hit in the rump by a BB gun just as the action starts? And the volume of the "YELP!" is pretty impressive too.

No, no doggies pooping in my yard, anymore.........
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:53 AM   #58
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Mulligan,
You’re onto one of my biggest pet peeves. Putting the cell phone ahead of your immediate person to person conversation. I think it is the rudest behavior every, and very common.
Also constantly monitoring your text messages while conversing with others.
I just walk away from people if they do this.

JP
JP, Midpacks initial question was do you address the problem. Concerning the cell phones, I do. As it is my best friends and I let them have it every time. Does it change their behavior? Not a bit! I think they are addicted to them as it appears to me they perceive every call to be coming straight from God, Himself. I personally don't think you can change peoples behavior so I never say anything unless its my friends and they don't change either. Of course maybe I have become old and crotchety and they have just tuned my bitching out
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:55 AM   #59
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My take:
While I agree 100% with Midpack and the other posters on the loss of civility and it pains me greatly to say that my coping mechanism is this:

I give up. The country isn't going to h*ll, it has arrived. We have long gone past the point where civility and respect have any meaning. The country that we grew up in is lost--gone-- and it isn't coming back.

There will always be exceptions, but if you are expecting consideration, thoughtfulness and courtesy from strangers, you're not dealing with reality.

We're now living on a 'new planet' where those things are viewed as quaint and almost embarassing.

I'd have a stroke if everytime I went out expecting courtesy and instead had my sensibilities assaulted. The only way to keep my sanity is to realize that those days are long gone.

It ain't the 60's anymore...it's a new world with new expectations of interaction.

Most of the 'violators' have no idea what your problem is and worse yet, don't give a d*mn.

Again, I was hoping for a more civil world as I got older but, in general, there is no point crying over our lost world...we have to live in the one we have.
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Old 04-29-2012, 11:59 AM   #60
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I think this all comes down to the entitlement mindset too many people have. It is reinforced everywhere. The government, parents, teachers. People are taught they are owed something by someone. I see it everywhere.

Teachers?!?!?!? You have got to be kidding!

Teachers are forever fighting this attitude in the classroom.
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