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Old 05-01-2012, 06:44 PM   #141
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I live in Florida where a good deal of the population is older than dirt .The thing I have found is after a certain age they give up any pretense of manners and just let it all hang out . They walk in front of cars daring them to hit them . They jam the grocery aisles by having their cart in the middle and their husband who looks like he doesn't want to be there standing by the side so the whole aisle is blocked . They have long conversations with the speedy check out girl about the weather in Indiana . They wait until all their groceries have been bagged before they locate their check book and proceed to write a check . Then they have to re zip their pocketbook and rearrange everything before they start to leave . The only thing that keeps me from screaming is that in a few years I will be one of them and game on !
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:58 PM   #142
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Not limited to Florida, Moemg.
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Old 05-01-2012, 09:27 PM   #143
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Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
I live in Florida where a good deal of the population is older than dirt .The thing I have found is after a certain age they give up any pretense of manners and just let it all hang out . They walk in front of cars daring them to hit them . They jam the grocery aisles by having their cart in the middle and their husband who looks like he doesn't want to be there standing by the side so the whole aisle is blocked . They have long conversations with the speedy check out girl about the weather in Indiana . They wait until all their groceries have been bagged before they locate their check book and proceed to write a check . Then they have to re zip their pocketbook and rearrange everything before they start to leave . The only thing that keeps me from screaming is that in a few years I will be one of them and game on !
I think they maybe just do not process social information so well anymore. Is this a possible explanation?

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Old 05-02-2012, 01:41 AM   #144
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Ya won't revoke my Curmudgeon certificate if I confess to letting people with only a few items go ahead of me.

heh heh heh - I do get to mention I'm not in a hurry BECAUSE I'M RETIRED!!

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Old 05-04-2012, 01:13 PM   #145
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Midpack, I think this OpEd piece from the Atlanta Journal Constitution touches upon what you were thinking:

Don’t set bar low on behavior *| ajc.com

It's written by a former judge. The most salient points are:

"My point is, we all do things we know aren’t great but we tell ourselves they’re no big deal. Sociologists call this phenomenon “defining deviancy down” — a phrase coined by the late Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who argued that as people become accustomed to deviant behavior, we lower the “normal” level of acceptable conduct.
In other words, when you put up with bad behavior for too long, it can become normal to you.
The types of behaviors that have “defined deviancy down” cover a broad spectrum — using profane language (once unacceptable, now the norm), bearing children out of wedlock, driving up credit-card debt, cheating on income taxes, and the proliferation of sex and violence in the media."


She ends the piece by saying:


"In these examples, the behavior in question is tolerated — even accepted — as bad, yet not so bad. The behavior has become the norm, rather than just plain wrong.
We should all examine ourselves carefully to make sure that the way we live our lives serves only to contribute in a positive way to the world in which we live. We should speak up when we see things that aren’t right and uproot our own petty offenses before the bar is set so low that what is deemed unacceptable becomes the standard by which we must all live.
We can start by swearing a little less, watching less smutty television and refusing to look the other way when we see something undeniably wrong, like condoned cheating. In so doing, each of us will do our part to stop “defining deviance down.” "


Of course, she admits to adding to the problem (frequent use of profanity, watching Real Housewives, not speaking up). But I do think she touches upon what you initiated in the original post. The cutting into a grocery line with more than the allotted number may be a little thing, but it's part of defining deviance down. So---do we go with the mantra of "Don't sweat the small stuff---it's all small stuff" or do we do our part, as she suggests, to stop defining deviance so that we don't become even less civil to each other?
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:26 PM   #146
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Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
I live in Florida where a good deal of the population is older than dirt .The thing I have found is after a certain age they give up any pretense of manners and just let it all hang out . They walk in front of cars daring them to hit them . They jam the grocery aisles by having their cart in the middle and their husband who looks like he doesn't want to be there standing by the side so the whole aisle is blocked . They have long conversations with the speedy check out girl about the weather in Indiana . They wait until all their groceries have been bagged before they locate their check book and proceed to write a check . Then they have to re zip their pocketbook and rearrange everything before they start to leave . The only thing that keeps me from screaming is that in a few years I will be one of them and game on !
This is the other side of the coin, isn't it!

One could argue that the loss of civility (at any age) could be liberating.

Early in life, someone told me to fight the battles you think you can win.

If the expectations are now so low, why fight a losing battle and give yourself heartburn when you could just do your own thing, 'horray for me to h*ll with you'.

No one cares! Its expected.

We've reached the point where YOU are the problem if you complain (you're intolerant/racist/out of touch) about poor manners.

Stop stressing and just go for it!
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:31 PM   #147
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It's written by a former judge.
And a current curmudgeon.

She's complaining about naughty words? Seriously? Shiiiiit.
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:46 PM   #148
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I think we should also talk about "defining deviancy up".

There are many areas of our life that are much improved over the past. Remember, it wasn't too long ago when--

1. Discrimination and racial slurs were an accepted societal norm.
2. Wife-beating and child abuse were considered a private concern
3. Sexual harrassment and date rape were just boys being boys.
4. Drunk driving was no big deal
5. Seat belts were considered optional for children

A little more swearing seems a small price to pay for the big improvements in our society.


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My point is, we all do things we know aren’t great but we tell ourselves they’re no big deal. Sociologists call this phenomenon “defining deviancy down”
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:47 PM   #149
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Originally Posted by eridanus

And a current curmudgeon.

She's complaining about naughty words? Seriously? Shiiiiit.
And having kids out of wedlock.

That damn bastard has 12 items!
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Old 05-04-2012, 02:36 PM   #150
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Yeah. It we can have a more tolerant and open society with out paying the "price" of in civility and rude and inconsiderate behavior.
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Old 05-05-2012, 07:18 AM   #151
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Some of it may just be the way people behave where they are from! In Florida, you get people from all over, and from every walk of life, including the ones who (at younger ages) end up featured in "People of Wal-Mart."

Plus as we all know, sadly, we all become "invisible" to the rest of the world, once we stop being visibly attractive to the opposite sex [and/or the same sex]. At that point, the one and only thing the world cares about is whether we have any money left to pay for things. Maybe the inconsiderate elderly are simply testing the boundaries of "invisibility." ("Nobody sees me or cares about me anyway, so why should I go to any trouble to be considerate?")

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Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
I live in Florida where a good deal of the population is older than dirt .The thing I have found is after a certain age they give up any pretense of manners and just let it all hang out . They walk in front of cars daring them to hit them . They jam the grocery aisles by having their cart in the middle and their husband who looks like he doesn't want to be there standing by the side so the whole aisle is blocked . They have long conversations with the speedy check out girl about the weather in Indiana . They wait until all their groceries have been bagged before they locate their check book and proceed to write a check . Then they have to re zip their pocketbook and rearrange everything before they start to leave . The only thing that keeps me from screaming is that in a few years I will be one of them and game on !
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Old 05-05-2012, 08:10 AM   #152
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I like this thread! Something just crossed my mind about the "10 items or less" aisle. The WalMarts in my area changed the signs to read "20 items or less". Those aisles are always packed and I'm thinking that since many customers there can't count pass 10, it's a win-win situation for WalMart. No matter how many items you have in your cart you can enter the "20 items or less" aisle. Thirty five items, no problem. They know you have more than 10 but they don't know how many more. It's confusing me now so you can see how confused you would be in the store. Go WalMart.
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:05 PM   #153
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I like this thread! Something just crossed my mind about the "10 items or less" aisle. The WalMarts in my area changed the signs to read "20 items or less". Those aisles are always packed and I'm thinking that since many customers there can't count pass 10, it's a win-win situation for WalMart. No matter how many items you have in your cart you can enter the "20 items or less" aisle. Thirty five items, no problem. They know you have more than 10 but they don't know how many more. It's confusing me now so you can see how confused you would be in the store. Go WalMart.
You know, I wonder if its a " WalMart" phenomena. When I am there it is like what most posters opine about. When I am at the 2 much smaller grocery stores in town, when someone is in line with only a handful of items almost always everyone lets them go ahead and check out first. I do this also. These are the Save A Lot type stores, not fancy stores mind you, so the civility is certainly not a class thing in my experiences. At Walmart no one would ever do this, including me for some reason unbeknownst to me. Maybe crowded stores change peoples behaviors after fighting through aisles of people and just wanting to get the hell out of the store even if that means "rounding down" on your total item count.
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Old 05-05-2012, 09:21 PM   #154
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... Let's not forget the checkwriters who wait for the cashier to tell them the amount before they even start looking for their checkbooks -- heaven forbid they fill out everything but the amount while in line.
+1. This one really sets a burr under my saddle. However, I have never seen a guy do this. Probably because we are inpatient and have things we consider more important than standing in line spinning our wheels.
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Old 05-05-2012, 11:14 PM   #155
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What I know - whatever checkout line I choose it is the slowest line in the store, even if it looks like the shortest at the time.
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Old 05-06-2012, 06:09 AM   #156
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Plus as we all know, sadly, we all become "invisible" to the rest of the world, once we stop being visibly attractive to the opposite sex [and/or the same sex]. At that point, the one and only thing the world cares about is whether we have any money left to pay for things. Maybe the inconsiderate elderly are simply testing the boundaries of "invisibility." ("Nobody sees me or cares about me anyway, so why should I go to any trouble to be considerate?")
I found this touching in a sad sort of way.
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:07 AM   #157
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And remember that five people with 10 items each will be significantly slower than 1 person with 50 items, due to pay delay.
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Old 05-06-2012, 04:54 PM   #158
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Plus as we all know, sadly, we all become "invisible" to the rest of the world, once we stop being visibly attractive to the opposite sex [and/or the same sex].
No one is so old that someone doesn't want them. Remember, we don't age alone.

Ha
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Old 05-06-2012, 08:11 PM   #159
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And remember that five people with 10 items each will be significantly slower than 1 person with 50 items, due to pay delay.
T/Al, now you get into the checkbook curse. Old ladies with shakey hands trying to remember what store they are in and, oh yeah, what's the date?
And how about this one? "Price check on aisle 3". They'll spend 10 minutes checking out the price of a 25 cent item. Aaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:42 PM   #160
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Picture a two-lane road that is being merged into a single lane after a traffic light. There are those little merge arrows painted on the road before and after the traffic light. While stopped at the light, some douche will invariably drive on the soon-disappear lane and cut in front of everyone else when the light turns green.
Lemme get this straight.

The guy is accelerating past the rest of you drivers (burning his own gas and wearing out his own engine/drivetrain) to get in front of the rest of you to occupy a part of the road that nobody else is currently using.

Unless he cuts you off and makes you slam on the brakes to give him room, he's making a more efficient use of the road. The book "Traffic" says studies have shown that "late mergers" allow more cars per minute to move through that point.

Hawaii has a "I'm politely waiting my turn" phenomenon where drivers will line up for half a mile at a merge or an offramp. They'll even do it for a couple blocks at a light. Yet when it's their turn to move, they'll slowly accelerate and allow 2-3 car lengths to open up in front of them. Later mergers can occupy those holes and move on down the road, leaving those overly polite/patient drivers to proceed at their own pace.

But when someone does it to me, slamming his transmission down into second gear in a merger lane, madly accelerating around me and slewing into the road ahead of us, perhaps using the shoulder and spewing gravel to make it all work out, I just take pity on him. The poor guy is probably driving like an insane idiot because he's late for work... and by the time he gets there, I'll be waxing up my longboard at the beach.
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