On Becoming Grandparents

[MissMolly]

My daughter and her husband have been married over 7 years. Both had physical problems that made getting pregnant difficult. Both underwent surgery to try to resolve the problems. After 7 years of marriage, I had accepted the fact there would not be any grandbabies and I was fine with that. Imagine my surprise when last summer they announced they were pregnant. Although I was happy for them, I really had no strong feelings about being a grandma...until that little baby was born and I picked her up the first time. I was shocked by the depth of my feelings for that little, tiny girl. I had no idea you could love someone else's baby so much. But I love her. And I think SHE is the cutest one ever

 

[Ally]

Miss Molly, she is without a doubt delightful!


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[MissMolly]

Miss Molly, she is without a doubt delightful!


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Thank you. We are totally smitten. And I guess to address the initial question in this post - how has it changed our lives? Well, we had always thought that when we retired that we would move to the coast somewhere in N Carolina - around Kill Devil Hills. We absolutely love that area. Since my mom passed away in December of last year, I no longer need to be close by to ferry her to her many doctor/hospital visits, do her shopping, cooking, etc. And my son graduated from college, got a job and moved out - so we were finally free of most ties. However....now....no way am I leaving this little doll baby.

 

[RetiredAndFree]

My daughter and her husband have been married over 7 years. Both had physical problems that made getting pregnant difficult. Both underwent surgery to try to resolve the problems. After 7 years of marriage, I had accepted the fact there would not be any grandbabies and I was fine with that. Imagine my surprise when last summer they announced they were pregnant. Although I was happy for them, I really had no strong feelings about being a grandma...until that little baby was born and I picked her up the first time. I was shocked by the depth of my feelings for that little, tiny girl. I had no idea you could love someone else's baby so much. But I love her. And I think SHE is the cutest one ever

Thank you. We are totally smitten. And I guess to address the initial question in this post - how has it changed our lives? Well, we had always thought that when we retired that we would move to the coast somewhere in N Carolina - around Kill Devil Hills. We absolutely love that area. Since my mom passed away in December of last year, I no longer need to be close by to ferry her to her many doctor/hospital visits, do her shopping, cooking, etc. And my son graduated from college, got a job and moved out - so we were finally free of most ties. However....now....no way am I leaving this little doll baby.

Miss Molly, I think you've summed up our paradigm shift pretty much spot on. And that little bundle of chubby cuteness? Oh. My. Gosh.

Currently we travel for multi months at a time, but have already cleared our calendar for the next six months to allow for ample grandbaby time. Will be interesting to see if we suffer 'pangs' when we take off for our first long trip again next spring.

 

[hausfrau]

My daughter and her husband have been married over 7 years. Both had physical problems that made getting pregnant difficult. Both underwent surgery to try to resolve the problems. After 7 years of marriage, I had accepted the fact there would not be any grandbabies and I was fine with that. Imagine my surprise when last summer they announced they were pregnant. Although I was happy for them, I really had no strong feelings about being a grandma...until that little baby was born and I picked her up the first time. I was shocked by the depth of my feelings for that little, tiny girl. I had no idea you could love someone else's baby so much. But I love her. And I think SHE is the cutest one ever

Our story is similar (except I'm like your DD in this case). We were so happy when we finally had our DD. My parents are completely ga-ga over her. It's so funny. I love that my DD has such a close relationship with them though.

 

[Chuckanut]

I enjoy being a grandparent. I made two decisions concerning grandchildren.

Treat them all equally.

Never put a "My grandchild is cuter than your grandchild" bumper sticker on my car.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I love my three little granddaughters and the new one that is baking right now, with all my heart, but they are also more to worry about (with all my heart too), I was surprised to find. Can't blame anyone for deciding against having kids!

 

[RetiredAndFree]

I love my three little granddaughters and the new one that is baking right now, with all my heart, but they are also more to worry about (with all my heart too), I was surprised to find. Can't blame anyone for deciding against having kids!

Bugger. I was afraid of that.

That was the part of parenting no one warned me about . . . that you worry/hurt as much about/for them as adults, as you did when they were young.

 

[Walt34]

That was the part of parenting no one warned me about . . . that you worry/hurt as much about/for them as adults, as you did when they were young.

I figured that out when I transferred off the street (police officer) and into the Fraud Section. I was trying to explain to my mother what I did at work, not getting very far, and ended up with "Mom, I work at a desk". I saw a look of incredible relief come over her.

I was just over 40 years old at the time, but to her I would always be 6.

 

[Ally]

I love this thread. I love that so many of us enjoy our grandchildren so much. I have one granddaughter who has so many similarities to me that we are totally on the same wave length and we both know it. I love the other 5 just as much, but there is really something special we share. Does any one else have this? It's almost eerie.


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[gardenfun]

Bugger. I was afraid of that.

That was the part of parenting no one warned me about . . . that you worry/hurt as much about/for them as adults, as you did when they were young.

I hear ya. It's a new and different phase of parenting, that's for sure. I worry about them just as much as adults with kids of their own. And there's more time in retirement for worry.

But more time for joy too! I guess that's what life is all about.

 

[H2ODude]

Bugger. I was afraid of that.

That was the part of parenting no one warned me about . . . that you worry/hurt as much about/for them as adults, as you did when they were young.

Really. Long story, DS lives in Africa, pregnant wife left in August to have our 5th grandchild (his first child). Day after he put her on plane in Tanzania, he had a spontaneous collapsed lung (he's an ultra marathoner). Hospital there for a week, air ambulances him to Johannesberg. His wife unable to fly, expected him to have surgery. So DW and I flew to Joberg to be with him. They got it re-inflated without surgery thankfully, but nothing like a 16 hour flight to be with your 37 yo son. We're glad we did it, as he was released way before the return date we selected we did some traveling. We had just been to TZ the month before, so this really taxed the flight tolerances.

 

[Moemg]

, but nothing like a 16 hour flight to be with your 37 yo son. We're glad we did it, as he was released way before the return date we selected we did some traveling. We had just been to TZ the month before, so this really taxed the flight tolerances.

Glad your son is okay . Those flights most be brutal .

 

[Sometime Soon]

I am about to have my first grandkid. I didn’t have grandparents myself, so I guess I will be making it up as I go along. Complicated by the fact that my daughter and her husband live in Saudi Arabia. So any trip to see them will be complicated. Still since they were married two years ago they have been exceptionally good at getting to the US to visit.

 

[MissMolly]

I am about to have my first grandkid. I didn’t have grandparents myself, so I guess I will be making it up as I go along. Complicated by the fact that my daughter and her husband live in Saudi Arabia. So any trip to see them will be complicated. Still since they were married two years ago they have been exceptionally good at getting to the US to visit.

Congratulations

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[RetiredAndFree]

I thought I would provide an update now that our sweet bundle of GD joy has arrived.

Firstly, we are completely smitten, having spent the first two and half weeks of her life helping my daughter. Our SIL won't be home from active duty until mid-November, so we have been the stand ins in his place. Secondly, to our mutual surprise, my spouse and I are in agreement that we would like to provide daycare for the gap between the end of my DD's maternity leave, and the expiration of her current teaching contract this summer, after which she will likely be staying home for a one to two year time period.

At the end of the day my heart couldn't bear the thought of a stranger watching her, nor could my DH's. We are both so in love with this little person already it's crazy.

So that means 2015 will be the first time we won't hit our 50% on-the-road target since ER'ing. However, it's a brief time really, just four months or so, and I am 100% confident we will have no regrets whatsoever when we look backward to this time in future years.

Were we not FIRE'd, we'd never have had this type of opportunity. I think about that often these days.

 

[Sometime Soon]

Congratulations to all of you, RetiredAndFree. I'll bet anything that those four months will be times you remember always.

 

[Moemg]

Congratulations ! You may find your life changing in many ways !

 

[Bestwifeever]

I can't even imagine how much your gesture will mean to your SIL.

Congrats on the new little one who has already stolen your hearts!

 

[MissMolly]

Congrats on the new grand! I feel the same as you about day care for infants. Fortunately, our daughter's husband works weird schedules and is frequently home during the week, so we don't have to babysit all the time, but we get her at least once or twice a week which is just perfect for me. Enjoy the new baby. It's unbelievable how fast they grow. Our is already 8+ months and it seems like just a couple of weeks ago she was born.

 

[Ally]

I'm so happy for you and for your grandchild. There's no one better than loving grandparents to act as caregivers in the first course of years!


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[kaneohe]

At the end of the day my heart couldn't bear the thought of a stranger watching her, nor could my DH's. We are both so in love with this little person already it's crazy.

So that means 2015 will be the first time we won't hit our 50% on-the-road target since ER'ing. However, it's a brief time really, just four months or so, ....................................................../QUOTE]

Congratulations on your new life! don't be too sure about that four months........it can be addicting esp. after they become mobile. In our case, the 2 grandmothers got an agreement from the parents to share custody until she got accepted into their chosen daycare. There was a forecast for the possibility of an opening next summer recently but DW suggested that was too soon.............she's 21 mos. now and will be 2.5 yrs old then. Don't say you were warned Enjoy!