Opinions: Why do some marry over and over?

[bbbamI]

YouTube - "I Cain't Say No" - R&H's Oklahoma! 1998 London

[Walt34]

One SIL is now on her 5th marriage (or is it 6th? No one is quite sure.) and another guy I know is now on his 6th.

For myself, I think I'd give up after the second divorce. I can take a hint, see a pattern, etc.

As it is even after 22 years, for reasons that are sometimes beyond my comprehension, DW still thinks I'm "The best thing that's ever happened" to her and says so every day. So I guess I must be doing something right.

I read somewhere that the best marriages are the ones in which each thinks they got the better deal. If that's true then DW got shortchanged but I'm certainly not going to tell her!

[rescueme]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha I think even one marriage is insane, in America, for a man.

Only if you're unlucky in love....

I've been lucky ...

[Calgary_Girl]

FIL is engaged and this will be marriage #4 for him (he is almost 62). I've never really asked him why he keeps getting married (instead of just living with someone). When I ask DH why his dad keeps getting married, DH can only respond that it must have been all the drugs FIL did in the late '60's .

[Tigger]

So many people become unhappy after a number of years, both men and women... maybe we're not built to stay with the same partner longer than during the early childhood of our children. So many people cheat or start a new relationship thinking life will be good as long as they find "the right person". Yet when the initial hormone high wears off and the daily drudgery takes its toll, their new relationship often becomes unsatisfactory too. Maybe they needed the love hormones to feel happy, not the person they went after?

Our culture preaches monogamy, but are humans really made for lifelong relationships?
The lady who wrote this book is no scientist, but interviewed many people and concluded that she doesn't think so:
Women's Infidelity (sales pitch)
Women's Infidelity (table of contents)

[Westernskies]

I can't imagine not being married.







Who would do the laundry?

[BTravlin]

Should we do a poll to see what kind of serial marriers we have here on ER?

[Khan]

Was married and divorced once, bad idea all around. Never again.

[Moemg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTravlin Should we do a poll to see what kind of serial marriers we have here on ER?

What fun ! Yes , go for it !

[omni550]

I'm single and about a year ago was looking to meet a man to date through an online dating site. Of the 20 guys I met (all nice looking, college-degreed professionals, in their 50s) for 'meet & greets', 3 had been married 3 times previously. Interestingly, they were among the ones (along with several once or twice-divorced) who wanted to get into a relationship with me before we even got to know each other to any degree. No thanks. I finally just quit doing online dating.

I don't know if these guys were just looking to be in a relationship and I happened to cross their path, if they were co-dependent, lonely or what. It seemed to me that they had not learned much from their prior failed relationships

Granted, the older someone is, the greater the possibility that they've had multiple relationships. IOW, someone in their 50s who's had 3 serious relationships is more common than someone in their 20s.


omni

[WhoDaresWins]

I was married once and was content to be so (we met very young and married in our early twenties). It was a lot of work on both of our parts at times but fortunately the good times outweighed the bad.
I was widowed 8 years ago and I don't think I would marry again. It is all I can do to manage my own life these days. I think I must lack the skill set(or whatever you want to call it) to take on something new in the area of domestic relations. That, and I'm a bit selfish and lazy
I have been asked out on dates a couple of times over the last few years (a co-worker, a colleague of my husband's) but these fellows had caveat emptor written all over them given what I knew of their past marital histories.
Also, anything I have in the way of assets when the end comes for me is going to my son, no question about this in my mind.

Most of my friends are either long-married to their one and only spouse or divorced after one marriage with no inclination to take the plunge again unless some perfect specimen presented himself and met a laundry list of "must haves".

[Tigger]

If you start a poll, make sure to include options for serial non-marriers.

I've always avoided marriage, but have had a number of long relationships. I'm in one actually.

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigger If you start a poll, make sure to include options for serial non-marriers. I've always avoided marriage, but have had a number of long relationships. I'm in one actually.

Had some of them also. Only one marriage.

[Moemg]

I was married twice . First time for ten years then six years as a single Mom . Second marriage lasted until I was widowed at 51 . If that had not happened we would have still been together . Now I am in a long term ( eleven year ) relationship . I enjoyed living alone since I am an introvert but I also enjoy an easy companionship .

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhoDaresWins or divorced after one marriage with no inclination to take the plunge again unless some perfect specimen presented himself and met a laundry list of "must haves".

Right, and this is as likely as a snowstorm in Miami on July 4!

My tango partner was telling me today that another woman friend of hers landed a tango partner, but "she isn't satisfied because he doesn't have that classic Argentine style." This is really funny because her friend looks about like Ma Kettle. If anybody is willing to dance with her she should light some candles in his honor. All I can say for a lot of these gals is they owe their comfort to whoever invented the vibrator.

Ha

[Moemg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha All I can say for a lot of these gals is they owe their comfort to whoever invented the vibrator. Ha

and eveready batteries !

[devans0]

Put in backwards ....

[HFWR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by devans0 Put in backwards ....

Does that result in moregasm?

[Ready-4-ER-at-14]

I knew an older lady who had outlived so many husbands (that she obviously loved dearly) that cemetery arrangements became problematic or even visiting all the scattered grave sites became an ordeal in old age.

She solved her problem by buying a number of burial plots and arranging to have the husbands replanted at each side of her and above her head and below her feet.

[KingB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigger If you start a poll, make sure to include options for serial non-marriers. I've always avoided marriage, but have had a number of long relationships. I'm in one actually.

Also include the longest and shortest relationships.