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Opinions: Why do some marry over and over?
04-12-2011, 10:24 AM
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#1
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,323
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Opinions: Why do some marry over and over?
Have been doing some research on this and, much to my surprise, am not finding all that much. Lots of polygamy research but little on multiple marrying.
Anyone here want to venture an opinion--or have you found some actual data--on why some people marry over and over again? I'm talking like 5 times or more.
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04-12-2011, 10:27 AM
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#2
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Oregon Coast
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Sorry I can't help, but it does remind me of the old saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result....
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04-12-2011, 10:27 AM
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#3
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2003
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"If at first you do not succeed..."
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04-12-2011, 10:27 AM
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#4
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,391
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I suspect that there are very few people who marry 5 times or more.
As to why they do it, perhaps they are a pleasant enough person but can't stop the infidelity, or the drinking, or the spending... or whatever.
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04-12-2011, 10:32 AM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Oregon Coast
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterBlaster
As to why they do it, perhaps they are a pleasant enough person but can't stop the infidelity, or the drinking, or the spending... or whatever.
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I suspect this might be common for people who think they can "change" someone's unacceptable behavior. Maybe I can stop their cheating or their addictions when no one else could. And when they (almost inevitably) can't, they bail out.
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"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)
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04-12-2011, 10:44 AM
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#6
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gone traveling
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
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04-12-2011, 10:46 AM
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#7
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
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Looking to get hitched again, Orchid?
You made me look... it up on Google . I found this Pew research study: The States of Marriage and Divorce - Pew Research Center
Some tidbits from a NY Times blog about the above report:
Quote:
Across the United States, 5 percent of people who have ever been married have been married three times or more. The percentage of thrice-married is highest in Arkansas, at 10 percent. It is lowest in New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts, at just 2 percent.
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and
Quote:
Higher education levels are correlated with an older age at first marriage, and lower likelihood of being married three or more times. In states with lower income levels, men are more likely to have been married three or more times.
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04-12-2011, 10:47 AM
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#8
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,594
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variety is the spice of life
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04-12-2011, 10:48 AM
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#9
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,679
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I have a cousin who is on her 5th or 6th husband. She loved each one at the start. She also likes weddings.
She was widowed by the one previous to her current one. He was 10-15 years older than her and seriously ill. He was wealthy enough to worry about it and looking for someone to leave his estate to since one of his children was in prison and he was estranged from the other one. She loved him very much.
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Married, both 69. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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04-12-2011, 10:50 AM
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#10
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,483
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I thought marriage was REQUIRED of all single males in the US, at least that's what DF (darling fiancee) told me before we got married..........
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04-12-2011, 10:56 AM
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#11
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Have you had more than 5 serious monogamous relationships? If you have, and if you don't mind the complexity of legal obligations that go with marriage, then...
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04-12-2011, 11:06 AM
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#12
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
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Most of my friends have been married two or three times so it's not that uncommon. It's usually a reasonably long first marriage , short second marriage and finally success . One of my guy friends was married five times . He used to say that he liked wedding cake . He was a little crazy (okay a lot crazy)but a great guy . I introduced him to wife #5 who was very straight laced . The match worked and they have been together over twenty five years .
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04-12-2011, 11:13 AM
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#13
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,321
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DW has a close friend here in our community. She was married 4 times previously. She now lives with and co-owns a house with her significant other. She is financially independent now, something she was not when younger. I guess she has learned the lesson.
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04-12-2011, 11:25 AM
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#14
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
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If the person in question has never worked at a job that pays enough to support his/her present and preferred lifestyle, then I would speculate that that person might be remarrying multiple times for financial reasons. Perhaps they cannot (financially) afford to remain single.
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04-12-2011, 11:31 AM
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#15
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 17,203
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The strangest multiple marriage person I have heard about...
Where I worked about 20 years ago, a coworker had an in-law who was getting divorced for the third time... I asked about her and her previous marriage.. the girl said she was married to men with the same name!!! Yes, she was married 3 times to 3 different guys who had the same first and last name...
Now... that is strange...
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04-12-2011, 12:15 PM
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#16
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,323
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I started thinking "why?" about this when someone I met here in Phoenix said she had been married 5 times, two people I went to high school with are on #4, Mickey Rooney 8, Liz Taylor 7, etc. I just don't get it myself and am wondering what propels these folks to marry over and over again.
__________________
Please consider adopting a rescue animal. So very many need a furr-ever home and someone to love them! And if we all spay/neuter our pets there won't be an overpopulation to put to death.
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04-12-2011, 12:34 PM
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#17
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
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Most of my friends that were married three times were all making good money so it wasn't for that reason . Most of them just like being a couple and frankly a lot of people ( especially in the South )still look down on people who live together . What's the difference between being married three or four times or having three or four long term relationships . IMO not a lot .
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04-12-2011, 12:51 PM
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#18
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
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We used to introduce a friend's current significant others as "The future former Mrs. Smith."
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“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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04-12-2011, 12:52 PM
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#19
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Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pacific NW
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Practice makes perfect?
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04-12-2011, 01:09 PM
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#20
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gone traveling
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Proud
...the girl said she was married to men with the same name!!! Yes, she was married 3 times to 3 different guys who had the same first and last name...
Now... that is strange...
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