Out of work for a few weeks....having trouble adjusting

[citrine]

Dear All:

I have been taken out of work by my doctors for a little bit to deal with some issues regarding things that happened to me ... that was triggered last week with the situation at work.
I am having a hard time adjusting to this......I have been sleeping a lot since my medication was also increased. I did go walking today for a bit. Has anyone else on this board found themselves in this situation? If so, what did you do?

citrine

[lazygood4nothinbum]

could you perhaps offer more details or would you prefer a vague response?

[CuppaJoe]

I know of nothing better than walking. I hope it helps that many people here at RE forums really care about you.

I don't think I've been exactly in a situation like yours but recently a thread here really set me off because of a sad situation at work; I nearly broke down. It's good to be human, I think.

[Moemg]

Citrine ,
I find just talking about the situation helps .

[W2R]

Maybe painting will help. I know how much your art means to you.

Sorry to hear you are having these troubles.

[Caroline]

Well, I cannot say that anything similar has happened to me, but I do have a friend who is on disability due to an existing issue that was exacerbated by work. And my partner has suffered from a major depression in the past.

I'm assuming your issue is along those lines, as opposed to something primarily physical in nature, but I'll throw out a few general observations that I think might strike a chord, whatever the issue is.

I'm going to assume that whatever it is won't be solved overnight. So you want to take your time, focus on healing, and most importantly, avoid beating yourself up for having the problem or for not "bouncing back" immediately. You didn't ask for this, it's not your fault, and you deserve time to sort yourself out.

This is more obvious in the case of physical problems, but can be neglected in non-physical cases. But they really are the same - the body and mind are connected and both suffer after a blow to either one. So you need time to process. It's time to be good to yourself, not take on large projects (or even small ones), and give yourself permission to heal.

Try to forgive or at least ignore people who tell you to "shake it off" or "just do it" when you feel like crap. They're trying to help, even though they're utterly clueless.

Walking is a great thing to do -- I'm told that exercise can enhance the effects of any medication you might be on, plus it gets you OUT of the house, which is vital to maintaining your sense of self as a person-in-the-world, not a sick-person-in-hiding. Plus, the sun and water and nature can work wonders on your mood.

Finding the energy to be with solid, dependable friends from time to time helps also -- again, you don't want to isolate if you can avoid it. If there's a support group anywhere near you go ahead and join it -- it helps to know that others have been in your position and are working through it. (Tell yourself that if you don't like it you can always quit after three visits.)

Know, as you go through this, that people care about you and are rooting for you. You have undoubtedly been good to other people in your life -- it's time to let them be good to you. It's your turn to take help and if they're true friends they will actually welcome the chance to show their love by supporting you. (I had to travel on business while my partner was depressed but I called him several times a day -- he told me later that my calls were like a "lifeline" to him. Reach out for your own lifelines anytime you need to.)

If you can't manage company on some days, at least be sure you get out of bed and dress yourself. (Tell yourself you can go back to bed later if you want to, but do get up and get the blood flowing in the morning.) Small victories like these lead to larger ones.

If you're out of work for a while and are employed by anything other than a mom-and-pop, prepare yourself now for the forms, the processes, etc. that will be required. Enlist someone to help you, if at all possible. My friend is on the other side of the country and is struggling with the bureaucrap all by herself, which is only adding to her frustration and distress.

Finally, know that this is a process, that it might not get better right away, but that it WILL be better in time. You may have to work through various meds, you may feel a little worse before you feel better, but every day and every step takes you closer to renewed happiness.

Never, ever doubt that there's a better tomorrow. I watched my partner work through a bad depression several years ago, but he's on the other side now, happy and full of energy, and that result is out there for you, too.

Hang in there -- keep us posted -- and good luck!

[FIREd]

Hi citrine,

Sorry to hear about your problems. Well what happened to me was a bit different because the company I worked for shut its doors unexpectedly and suddenly I found myself at home all day for about 4 months. The first few days were hard and I was pretty stressed out and depressed. I found myself roaming aimlessly around the house wondering what I should be doing (I remember visiting the fridge and the pantry every 15 minutes). Well I found that the best thing to do is to create a routine (like the kind of routine you have when you work). This is what I used to do everyday for the first few months at least:

Force myself to get out of bed in the morning at a reasonable time. A cat licking my face helped a lot.
Get dressed and go walk for about 1 hour.
Come home, take a shower and eat breakfast.
Then I would spend a few hours looking for a job (in your case you can spend a few hours catching up on the news or post on this forum).
Then I would prepare and eat lunch, play with the cat for a little while, watch a bit CNBC to see what's going on with the markets.
Then in the afternoon I would go out (grocery shopping, library, appointments....) or do some gardening, wood working or house cleaning. This is the part where having a head full of projects like mine is (crafts, home decor, whatever) really helps (right now I am working on a play set for the kittens).
Then around five in the afternoon, I would watch a few TV comedies that I liked (it helped cheering me up) and start preparing diner.
Then my wife came home and that was the end on "my day".

Having a routine really helped me go through the day with a sense of purpose. After a few month though, I really got used to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, and I did not need the routine anymore to make me feel purposeful. Actually at the end of the four months, it was REALLY hard to go back to work. From that moment on, I knew FIRE was for me for sure. But that's another story...

[tangomonster]

I'm sorry that you are not in a good place right now. I know from reading your posts that you are a sensitive, artistic person, so I guess some of these feelings and episodes just come with the territory.

I agree with everyone about establishing a routine. You don't absolutely have to do all the grooming and hygiene stuff you did for work everyday, but do try for at least every other day or so, along with exercise. Listen to good music, read good books. Meditate.

And you will need to force yourself to be with people, ranging from just hanging out around people in a coffee shop to making some new friends who will be supportive and who aren't so into work that they will act like you are strange for not being able to work currently.....

[Notmuchlonger]

When Im down I like to get a good cardio workout in. For whatever reason I usually feel clearer.

[Khan]

I agree that you should set up routines (minimal to start, expand later).

Whenever you wake up:
wash your face, brush your teeth, comb your hair
tend to plants and animals
have decent breakfast
walk

...expand as time goes on

[mn54]

Try to have a positive attitude. Know that with time things will get better. Also realize that the increase in medication will have an effect on you, possibly causing your sleepiness. If you feel like the meds are too high speak with your physician about this.

[citrine]

You guys are amazing!
I guess it would help if I was a bit more clear.....I am struggling with some issues from childhood ... .....basically coming to terms... . I have not had any contact with my parents for the last year and the issue at work really just through me over the edge. I wanted to ...just go into hiding so I could just somehow vanish.
I talked to my therapist and he thought it would be better if I was out of work for a bit, just to deal with these emotions and memories as they come up.
I haven't been able to paint.....I think I am fighting it for some reason. I did walk today which seemed to help a bit. I feel strange outside of my home and am scared that I may start screaming or crying and not be able to stop.
I definitely do need to stick with a routine and walk a bit every day.

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by citrine You guys are amazing! I guess it would help if I was a bit more clear.........

I went through something vaguely similar when my marriage fell apart.

Keep walking.

Be sure you pay your bills during this time.

[haha]

Citrine,

I applaud your honesty. Hang on; things will get better with a little time.

Ha

[Dawg52]

I'm so sorry for your troubles. Stay in close touch with your therapist and try to get plenty of exercise. Getting outside on pretty days and smelling the roses(or whatever is growing right now) should help. You might consider a getting a dog if you don't have one. I got a golden retriever to help motivate me to get outside for daily walks. Great companions too.

Best of luck!

EDIT: Uh oh, I see where your avatar is a cat. If that is your pet, forget the dog.

[lazygood4nothinbum]

the most difficult yet rewarding adventure takes us within ourselves. distractions from that path abundant. danger and fear abound. going over the edge might just improve your footing, given, of course, that you find the strength to pull yourself back. otherwise, well, what a waste of having gone over the edge. what difficult balance you have to maintain. to love who you do not trust. to trust who has inflicted pain.

past experience sets up patterns which can destroy us if we succumb or maybe we break them, maybe not, maybe just learn to live with them in healthy ways. it sounds like you are doing the right things: discussing openly & with professional guidance instead of hiding in a bottle; using routine to generate structure instead of letting the weight of your world crush you.

sometimes life presents us with a bad trip and all we can do is ride it out. when times get tough just think of one thing that calms your screaming--"a few of (your) favorite things"--of one thing that makes you laugh instead of cry. when you are feeling horrible, pop in a tape of the marx brothers or remember a time when you laughed inappropriately, like maybe at a funeral, so that you can see that you control how you feel even when it seems like the world has wrested that from you.

"one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious."~~c.g.jung

[freebird5825]

try to be around positive thinking people. no deadlines, no pressures.

keep it real simple. eat, sleep, breathe deeply. maybe even grin.

watch cartoons or rent a kid's animated movie. Monsters Inc is a favorite pick-me-up of mine. billy crystal and john goodman are just too much in that movie.

if you live in warm weather, fly a kite or plant a flower.
if you live in a snowy region, build a snowman or snow bunny. sculpt it with a plastic butter knife.

if you feel angry, throw a dozen uncooked eggs at a tree in the woods.

i wish you strength and some cheer. i dealt with an extreme personal tragedy 3+ years ago and really struggled with it. the above list includes some of my coping mechanisms.

PS i also colored a kid's dinosaur coloring book with crayons, but i know you're an artist, so i didn't want to insult you with that one. <did i make you smile, maybe?>

[Arc]

The thing I do at times like this is pray hard. If it's alright with you, you are now in my prayers. Good Luck!

[Khan]

Click on this every hour or so:
(g-rated cuteness)

Rate My Kitten

[citrine]

I just got back from my Reiki class and it was amazing. I have had it done once before and it really helped me. I am going to study with the Reiki master for Level I and learn how to heal myself. The teacher is this spry little 64 year old woman and I know I was meant to meet her....sounds strange, but feels almost like destiny.
I also went grocery shopping and didn't feel like screaming or crying.....that felt awesome.
So here is my list for tomorrow:

Wake up, get ready, have breakfast
Go to a meeting
Get my haircut
Meet some girlfriends for dinner

Thank you for your kind words and prayers.