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Old 03-27-2009, 07:43 AM   #41
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So true.
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Old 03-27-2009, 08:22 AM   #42
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This is a really interesting thread. At first, I thought it was a joke. A man makes a demeaning comment about another man within earshot, and then comes to this board and recounts the incident without shame, seemingly asking us for validation of his inappropriate and condescending behavior. Then many of the responders offer up said validation on a silver platter. Action is proposed which could cost a man his job. All because someone was behaving badly by lying down in a place of business, or semi-reclining, or whatever it is he claims, then had his ego bruised, then lashed out with an insult, and was dealt the consequences.

I had a mother and a grandmother who taught me to be polite and respectful towards others, regardless of their social rank. (We were really poor, so our social rank wasn't very high either...) I'm thinking that most of the people reading this were also fortunate enough to have the same lessons about manners and dignity taught to them. Sometimes I mess up, and act out my own insecurities or fears in responding inappropriately to others. I feel ashamed, and resolve to do better in the future. There is a lot of stress, and just plain meanness, in our world today. It's no way to live. I'm hoping we can all try to do better in the future.

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Old 03-27-2009, 08:42 AM   #43
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I wonder if the OP would have done the same if the security guard was a UFC fighter moonlighting as a security guard?
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:22 AM   #44
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Let's see...

1. You were lying on a bench in a public place.

2. Jeans and a tee- shirt in a " high-end boutique mall". ie probably not really dressed for your surroundings.

3. Just hangin' out and talking on your cell phone (i.e. loitering, not shopping)

4. A minimum- wage security guard , having just been briefed about the importance of keeping the riff-raff out of this aspiring upscale boutique mall, approaches you to let you know that lying on the benches is not allowed.

5. Instead of reacting appropriately, ie "I'm sorry sir, I was " "unaware of the rule", "just waiting for my girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/sister/brother ", "worked a double shift last night",
"not feeling well", "sleeping off a hangover" (take your pick) you lash out and call him an idiot. (yes, telling the person you were talking to that he is an idiot within his earshot is the same thing.)

6. You get thrown out of the mall (love this part!)

7. By your own account the security guard was polite, but firm. You were called out for acting inappropriately for your surroundings. Good for him. Now you want to ruin this guy's life because he did his job professionally.

8. You want him disciplined (read:fired) from his crappy job as a mall security guard. That'll show him not to mess with you, Rusty Shackleford!

9. When he loses his minimum-wage job after your one-man crusade for justice and the resulting inquisition from mall management, remember that you and the rest of the taxpaying citizens will probably wind up paying for his unemployment/retraining/welfare, since entry-level jobs are few and far between these days.

10. Your behavior and response was inappropriate. You got called out for it. Get over it.

11. One final thought- please let us know which mall; it would be nice to go shopping in a place that had concientious security staff, people were dressed appropriately, and lying around on the furniture yakking on cell phones was not tolerated. Sounds like my kind of mall, I'd like to see them succeed.

...but that's just me.
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Old 03-27-2009, 12:33 PM   #45
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Personally, I'd have probably started talking loudly to myself, and then peed in one of the potted plants. Then I'd have made them drag me out while I went limp and cried and cussed at them. I mean, if you're going to get thrown out of the mall, might as well make it entertaining. You might even have made onto Youtube.

But that's just me.


Ok...now everybody, inhale slowly....exhale....ohmmmm
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:26 PM   #46
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Excellent advice, which I shall apply immediately.
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Old 03-27-2009, 02:51 PM   #47
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Wait, you're not a teenager? And you got thrown out of a mall?

Does this bring back bad memories?
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:01 PM   #48
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Seriously, everybody needs to take a chill pill. I suspect most everyone defending the security guard would have reacted fairly similarly to Rusty if being hassled by a rent-a-cop in a mall. Nobody likes to be bothered when they are minding their own business. I used to be (a long time ago in a galaxy far far away) a mall security guard. Most of them are wannabe cops or (like me) students looking for an income that doesn't involve actual work.

I've read enough posts from almost everyone in this thread to know that many are being sanctimonious for whatever reason. At the same time Rusty probably didn't do everything perfectly, but I can guarantee that if his posts are accurate he handled the situation better than I would have. My previous post was sarcasm, but I'd have needed to be shown the "No Slouching on Bench" sign before I'd have put up with him. My sitting habits, clothing, personal phone conversations, etc are not available for comment by a security guard in a mall. If he'd have pushed it I'd have demanded to see the mall manager, and made the guard bring him to me. This is not a group of punks skateboarding through the stores, it's an adult sitting on a bench. And you can sermonize all you want, but I doubt most of you would have handled it any better than Rusty did, although probably better than I would. So there.

And if the guard was a UFC champ I'd probably done the same. I don't watch that stuff, and am mostly comfortable in my ability to defend my self. I've been wrong before. And I'm sure I've been thrown out of better malls than that one.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:30 PM   #49
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Thanks, Harley. Actually, I looked at the mall "rules" (yes, this mall has a
rule sheet posted) and one is "no sleeping on benches", which it's clear I wasn't
doing since I was talking (unless I was talking in my sleep on my cell phone,
hmm...) There's also a rule against loitering, and perhaps that was my original
offense.

Anyhow, yes, I should have challenged the guy (what rule exactly was I breaking ?,
and I wasn't talking to him when I made my comment), and my failure to do so was
due to a combination of not thinking fast enough and being mainly interested in
continuing my phone conversation without further harassment.

One thing I agree with the law&order contingent on is that I should get over it.

There's just a nagging feeling that I have some duty to the store owners, in particular
the one about which I have very positive feelings (have enjoyed hospitality of the
owners home and good friends work there) to let them know that there's a little
Barney Fife wandering around bothering potential customers. As it is, part of me
wants to just say "screw it, I'll go buy my $200 item online for about 25% less ..."
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:37 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by eridanus View Post
Wait, you're not a teenager? And you got thrown out of a mall?
You are correct, sir.

Quote:
Does this bring back bad memories?
My friend got thrown out of a concert for tossing his empty
plastic beer cup at another friend. I think he should have
been taken into a back room, had his head wrapped in a towel,
and been beaten with a phone book. But that's just me.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:43 PM   #51
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Didn't Barney Fife have to roust Otis Campbell off a park bench now and then?
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:54 PM   #52
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Otis just let himself in; he had his very own key!
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Old 03-27-2009, 04:17 PM   #53
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My previous post was sarcasm, but I'd have needed to be shown the "No Slouching on Bench" sign before I'd have put up with him. My sitting habits, clothing, personal phone conversations, etc are not available for comment by a security guard in a mall. If he'd have pushed it I'd have demanded to see the mall manager, and made the guard bring him to me. This is not a group of punks skateboarding through the stores, it's an adult sitting on a bench. And you can sermonize all you want, but I doubt most of you would have handled it any better than Rusty did, although probably better than I would. So there.

And if the guard was a UFC champ I'd probably done the same. I don't watch that stuff, and am mostly comfortable in my ability to defend my self. I've been wrong before. And I'm sure I've been thrown out of better malls than that one.
I respect your attitude; but it differs from mine. Just like I don't argue with monitors on this board, I don't argue with cops/renta-cops/tough guys on the street, crazy people, pissed off women, etc.

All these people might be able to hurt me one way or another, so I don't want to mess with them.

I try at all times to fade trouble. This has been a hard won stance for me, but it helps that I am not very big and I have never considered myself tough, at least not when compared to the many people who are actually tough and prove it regularly.

Ha
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Old 03-27-2009, 05:15 PM   #54
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I understand the support for the security guard, but my opinion is influenced by an experience I had last summer at a concert with a rent a cop. Went to see Willie Nelson and my nephew bought almost an entire row of tickets fairly close to the front stage. Not cheap seats. Anyway, we watch Willie and people are getting up and clapping, acting like most at a concert. I was sitting next to my sister in law(mistake) and being old farts like we are we rarely stood up. So everything is all fine and Willie finishes up. Next up, BB King. Well during intermission my sis-in-law stands up to stretch her back and keeps standing. Some guy taps her on the shoulder asking her to sit down because his wife wants to watch the road crew clear the stage and set up BB King's equipment. Now who in the heck gives a rip about watching that? Anyway people are coming and going to the bathroom so she keeps standing until it is time for BB. Next thing you know a Barney Fife look a like comes over and ask to see our tickets. We had the whole row and I didn't have the exact numbered ticket so he gives me a hard time about that. I convince him we have the row so he backs off. Then he tells sis-in-law to sit. Again, this is during intermission. So she does and he leaves. A few minutes later rent a cop comes over and says we will have to sit in the correct numbered seat so I tell him to hold on and we all reshuffle our tickets so we have the correct ticket in hand. Now how stupid is that?? And I can assure you, I didn't act ugly although I had every reason to do so in this case.

So yes, I can understand where the OP is coming from. BTW, I'll never go see a concert in that venue again.
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Old 03-27-2009, 05:25 PM   #55
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My comments were not intended to be sanctimonious, however I do find it easier to be more logical about these situations when you are an outside observer and it is not happening to you.

I can say you would not catch me lounging around at the mall ala Rusty, not my style plus I probably would have managed to fall and make a complete klutz of myself. However, Rusty's thoughts are similar to thought's I've had about taxi drivers/flight attendants/check in staff/checkout chicks and anyone else who has pissed me off over the years. I find it helps to vent, then realise it really doesn't matter and let it go without blowing a blood vessel thru my frustration/anger or whatever you want to call it.
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Old 03-27-2009, 05:38 PM   #56
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Never argue with anyone. He, too, has a right to his own stupid opinions.
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Old 03-27-2009, 07:34 PM   #57
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Don't taz me bro!

Seriously, years ago a mall security guy came up to me and, very apologetically asked me not to sit on the edge of the planter box. He explained that kids (code word for mall rats, I suppose) hang out and sit there and he has been instructed to shoo them away (shoo is my word). He explained that he couldn't ask them to leave without doing the same with (somehow he said this politely) older folks too. I was happy to comply with such a gentleman who was just doing what he was required to do.


How differently Notmuchlonger might have reacted had he been treated with such respect. "I'm so sorry sir, but we've had complaints about kids loitering on the benches. As you can see we don't have kids here today, but I'm required to request all our guests to either sit or stand. I hope you understand."

How difficult would it be to make a polite 'request' instead of a brusque command. All mall employees should be as customer friendly as possible. After all, their j*b depends upon customers returning.

My suggestion to NML is simply not to return to that mall. When it closes (as such malls have been doing lately) that $9/hr super-cop will be pounding the pavement for real - looking for another j*b!
If they were all that savvy, they wouldn't be "rent-a-cops". Give 'em a break. A guy I know is one of these "cops" and he tells me he is just passing the time of day, earning a few bucks and hope nothing serious happens.
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Old 03-29-2009, 01:49 AM   #58
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As he's walking away, I say on the phone "just some idiot mall guy".
He comes back and says "did you say 'idiot' ?", I say "yes", and he asks
me to leave the mall, which I do. Please note that I addressed my
remark to the person on the other end of the cell phone,
For some reason this reminds me of when I was about 9 yrs old and would hold my hand about an inch in front of my sisters face, then taunt her with "can't get mad at me, I'm not touching you"
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Old 03-29-2009, 09:30 AM   #59
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I guess the real question for me is why anyone would want to hang out in a mall. The less I see of those places the better.
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Old 03-29-2009, 10:02 AM   #60
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I guess the real question for me is why anyone would want to hang out in a mall. The less I see of those places the better.
Good point. When I do go, it's direct to the store I'm interested in. I never enter a mall entrance, just a store entrance.
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