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Old 03-29-2009, 02:49 PM   #61
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For some reason this reminds me of when I was about 9 yrs old and would hold my hand about an inch in front of my sisters face, then taunt her with "can't get mad at me, I'm not touching you"
I do think the guard was overzealous. I'm not sure he had to approach Rusty at all and he could have ignored the idiot comment as he was already walking away. I will even acknowledge Rusty's point about a direct vs indirect comment (it's still a foul if the guard heard it) but Rusty says he is an adult.

As I read all this I keep thinking back to my days as a cub scout about 8 years old singing Christmas songs and my Den Leader singles me out and says that I'm not singing I tell her that I am and point to the kid next to me as my witness. She persisted and had me go to her kitchen for a one on one with her telling me I was not singing and me telling her that she is a liar (hey I was 8) Den mother calls my mom to come get me. Mom hauls me out very embarrassed. I receive the wrath of mom. Dad get's home and I get a spanking (pretty rare from dad but this qualified). Hey I was in the right I was singing, but I got the spanking, I embarrassed my parents and I had the same Den mother for several more years all the time with a strained relationship.

Sadly over the last 35+ years my vocabulary and social skills have not progressed as much as I would have hoped, but I did learn that sometimes discretion can be the better part of valor. It's okay to let it go.
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Old 03-29-2009, 03:31 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by Darryl View Post
I do think the guard was overzealous. I'm not sure he had to approach Rusty at all and he could have ignored the idiot comment as he was already walking away. I will even acknowledge Rusty's point about a direct vs indirect comment (it's still a foul if the guard heard it) but Rusty says he is an adult.

As I read all this I keep thinking back to my days as a cub scout about 8 years old singing Christmas songs and my Den Leader singles me out and says that I'm not singing I tell her that I am and point to the kid next to me as my witness. She persisted and had me go to her kitchen for a one on one with her telling me I was not singing and me telling her that she is a liar (hey I was 8) Den mother calls my mom to come get me. Mom hauls me out very embarrassed. I receive the wrath of mom. Dad get's home and I get a spanking (pretty rare from dad but this qualified). Hey I was in the right I was singing, but I got the spanking, I embarrassed my parents and I had the same Den mother for several more years all the time with a strained relationship.

Sadly over the last 35+ years my vocabulary and social skills have not progressed as much as I would have hoped, but I did learn that sometimes discretion can be the better part of valor. It's okay to let it go.
It interests me how many of us can probably tell this sort of story. Probably the personality type that chafes at work and its associated social challenges, but can discipline itself well is the type that longs for ER, and can accomplish it too.

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Old 03-29-2009, 04:04 PM   #63
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I had a similar experience with a Mall security guy a couple of years back and was able to resist getting too stroppy with him and was very tempted to write to The Mall manager but ended up doing nothing.

A Sunday morning well before the Mall was open DW and I were cycling by when we saw a new restaurant we hadn't seen before before and it looked very interesting. So we stopped and dismounted then walked the short distance pushing our cycles as we had to cross a pedestrian area and a security guy stops us and tells us that there is no cycling here. I pointed out that we were not cycling, we were pushing our bikes as we wanted to have to look at that restaurant. "Just remember that there is no cycling in this area!!". "Didn't you just see us, stop, dismount and walk over?" "yes, but remember, no cycling".

In life you have to accept that sometimes you are the statue and sometimes the pigeon, and I guess this guy was in his pigeon phase - idiot!
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Old 03-30-2009, 03:11 PM   #64
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A few minutes later rent a cop comes over and says we will have to sit in the correct numbered seat so I tell him to hold on and we all reshuffle our tickets so we have the correct ticket in hand.
I would have done the reshuffling as slow as possible, standing the whole time, and feigning ignorance. Much more fun to watch their impatience over the enforcement of an arbitrary rule.
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Old 03-30-2009, 03:35 PM   #65
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I would have done the reshuffling as slow as possible, standing the whole time, and feigning ignorance. Much more fun to watch their impatience over the enforcement of an arbitrary rule.
I love it, Abreutime! Can't you youn'uns just imagine an episode of Seinfeld with this scenario? For us old folks, it could be Lucy or Your Show of Shows.
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Old 03-30-2009, 05:24 PM   #66
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I would have done the reshuffling as slow as possible, standing the whole time, and feigning ignorance. Much more fun to watch their impatience over the enforcement of an arbitrary rule.
Damn, a lot of the response is starting to make me feel sorry
for the guard. It IS a crap thankless job, but one that somebody
probably has to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darryl View Post
I do think the guard was overzealous. I'm not sure he had to approach Rusty at all ...
He didn't need to approach me. Furthermore, he should not have.
You know why ? Because I was NOT breaking any of the rules.
The only rules that might apply are "sleeping on bench" and loitering;
I was clearly not doing the former; I guess it's not obvious I wasn't
doing the latter, but the burden of proof there ain't on me (and I can
easily document my frequent purchases at this mall, including the day
in question).

If I talk to the guard again, I shall tell him "I believe that you approached
me inappropriately, since I was breaking no rules, but I also believe
that I behaved poorly [the idiot remark] and so I'm not going to
write the letter that I was tempted to write".
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Old 03-30-2009, 05:40 PM   #67
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You could try surveying the contents of your life. See what's there. Can you make any sense out of why this incident holds such an important position in the hierarchy of your life's events?

If you want to write a letter to the mall manager honestly and accurately describing the incident which has you so aghast, why don't you go ahead and do so? Maybe you'll get "form letter #56" in return offering you their most sincere apology and a coupon for a free bag of roasted nuts from the mall nut vendor.

Then you can get on with your life. Since you say you make frequent purchases at this boutique mall, perhaps you could add some variety to your routine and buy stuff someplace else.
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Old 03-30-2009, 06:07 PM   #68
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As he's walking away, I say on the phone "just some idiot mall guy".
He comes back and says "did you say 'idiot' ?", I say "yes", and he asks
me to leave the mall, which I do. Please note that I addressed my
remark to the person on the other end of the cell phone, did not say
it loudly, and used no profanity (or anything approaching), and promptly
complied with all the security guy's requests.

I'm wondering what to think of this. This is a pretty small mall, full
of boutique/niche type stores that are struggling (a good friend works
at one, so I know). The last thing in the world these businesses need
is a jerk like this guy chasing people away. (As a matter of fact, one of
my purposes at the mall was researching a ~$200 purchase). Maybe
I am over-reacting, but the guy strikes me as probably a police-officer
wannabee and was bored (the mall was empty, as usual) and looking
for anything to spice up his day, and throwing his weight around like
this was just the ticket. Not to be mean-spirited, by frankly, I want to
now throw MY weight around and make some sort of complaint against
this guy; to the mall owners, the store owners, the local paper ?

No doubt some of you think I should have been led away in handcuffs,
but I'd be interested in hearing anyone's thoughts ...
In reality, the act of laying/sitting/whatever is not what did it. You simply humiliated this guy. You struck a nerve, took away his mojo. As wrong as a cop/mall cop/rent a cop may be, stay cool, don't piss them off. They simply have a job to do, plain and simple.

I've done this to "real cops" in my youth, now I just respect them, humor them, try to make them laugh. Some like authority, some like respect, some are having a hard day, make it easy on them and yourself.


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Old 03-30-2009, 06:13 PM   #69
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If I talk to the guard again, I shall tell him "I believe that you approached
me inappropriately, since I was breaking no rules, but I also believe
that I behaved poorly [the idiot remark] and so I'm not going to
write the letter that I was tempted to write".
WADR Rusty, haven't you already wasted too much of your valuable time worrying about this? Life is short and there are more pleasant ways to spend it than worrying about something like this.
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Old 03-30-2009, 06:25 PM   #70
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WADR Rusty, haven't you already wasted too much of your valuable time worrying about this? Life is short and there are more pleasant ways to spend it than worrying about something like this.
I only think about it when a new posting comes up in this thread on my
"User CP", but thanks for your concern.

What does WADR mean ?
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Old 03-30-2009, 06:29 PM   #71
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What does WADR mean ?
With All Due Respect.
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:45 PM   #72
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If I was in the same situation as the OP, Im sure I would've reacted much more harshly. I'm working on my temper, but I felt the rage creep in as I read it.

How long were you 'lounging'? If it was for just a few seconds...I'd have really been pissed. If it was for a while, I guess I would've straightened up, and continued on my conversation

BUT, for him to come over and ask me to leave the mall for saying the word IDIOT...to him or to my phone...I would've been very irate. Freedom of speech biaatch!
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:56 PM   #73
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Don't worry Fed, you'll calm down with age.
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