Paid off Mortgage- Should I share?

[Sue J]

We told our parents because we knew they'd be happy for us. My sister married a man with a paid off house so she understood and no problem there. We told DH's siblings because he's the oldest and they all knew we were close to paying it off. We bought our house long before any of the rest of them.

The bigger thrill was letting them know that when DH retired that we were completely debt free. We had paid off the house before the cars and the kids's student loans so we took care of those last things when he retired.

All concerned are happy for us and no one has come to us for cash or borrowing. Any sibling comparisons now would be over property taxes. Ours are $200/mo and some of our family live in areas with very high property taxes in the range of $600-$800/mo.

 

[arebelspy]

You should not tell anybody who isn't a member of your personal fan club, with a lifetime's interest in having you succeed in absolutely everything. Everybody else is either uninterested, jealous, or will think you're strangely obsessed with money.

Or this board, which is specifically set up to let us discuss our strange money obsessions.

Amethyst

I like how you worded this first sentence. I'm going to have to tuck that away for future use.

 

[GregLee]

I'm more comfortable staying under everyone's radar, not just friends and relatives. I didn't tell anyone when I paid off my mortgage; my house is old and looks pretty dilapidated; I drive an old car. The poorer I look, the safer I feel.

 

[Hobo]

I think your decision should rest on what you feel comfortable doing. This is a family affair and I don't know if your family has a tradition of sharing with each other. In many other cultures sharing would be commonplace, almost expected.

As you can see from the other comments, in America, you are expected to work like a dog so you can first provide for your immediate family. Once the last kid graduates from college, all the money saved goes into your retirement fund. You worked hard and planned to pay off your mortgage quickly - that's not like winning the lottery, it is hard work and sacrifice on your part. The faster you can get out of the rat race the better your life should be. In my family no one else would think of asking me for a loan. If anybody did, I would say, "I made a deal with the bank. They promised never to involve themselves in my business and I promised to never loan money."

 

[Beryl]

I would only share with people having a similar level of financial success.

This is what I do. I have a wealthy aunt with whom I've talked money for almost 30 years. I tell her about major awards, stock options, and major acquisitions. She 'gets it' and provides advice.

 

[W2R]

When I paid mine off, I told my mother because I knew she was worried about my financial situation after my divorce. I told my brother, because his faith in me was a big factor in being able to get it done quickly. I told F. because he is always on my side and I knew he would be happy for me.

As for others, I told a few but NOT in a big group. At work I was grinning irrepressibly, and my good friend asked me why and was teasing me about it in a friendly way, so I whispered it to her.

 

[rcbrad]

Thanks to all for the interesting and kind replies. Yes, I have kept it under wraps for awhile now. It is mostly my family that I am concerned with. I just feel like I am hiding something or keeping a secret, when it comes to my family. My brother was talking about refinancing and asking what interest rate I was paying to try to help me. He refinanced recently. I just had to make something up. I also get comments from family about how lucky we are to be working, to pay our mortgages, I just feel funny agreeing with them, when I am finished paying for my home.

At work and and with some other friends at times we talk about struggling to make ends meet, but I really would rather just not tell people about not having a mortgage. (although I have a 3500+ property tax bill each year.)

 

[Amethyst]

I also get comments from family about how lucky we are to be working,

To which one graceful response could be, "Yes, we are grateful we have good jobs, when so many people are out of work." It's the truth, nobody can find fault with it, and it covers everything.

A.

 

[Glo]

We paid off our home in our early 50's; we shared because we were proud. Our friends and family were happy.

 

[HFWR]

If you must share, I could use some help paying off MY mortgage...

 

[rescueme]

If you must share, I could use some help paying off MY mortgage...

Nah - we did it on our own; we feel confident that you can do the same.

Otherwise we would be taking away from your sucess on standing on your own ...

 

[Lakewood90712]

You should not tell anybody who isn't a member of your personal fan club, with a lifetime's interest in having you succeed in absolutely everything. Everybody else is either uninterested, jealous, or will think you're strangely obsessed with money.

Or this board, which is specifically set up to let us discuss our strange money obsessions.

Amethyst

+ 1

 

[Sarah in SC]

For the record, after we had our mortgage burning party, we were not particularly inundated with requests for money or snide remarks about our supposed wealth, but I do have a friend who periodically suggests I pick up the bar tab because I have that "sticker" (she means my Dave Ramsey Debt Free sticker) on my car. I think (hope) she's joking!
But because I am in the biz, as it were, people would expect our finances to be in better shape because we should know better, I guess.

 

[grasshopper]

When I paid off my mortgage I asked a CPA in the building I worked to take a Looky Look. I had a spreadsheet showing, increase in assets, loss of itemized deduction and my net worth statement yada yada yada at age 44. He couldn't find a fault with the plan.

Of course every tax season I would hear the TurboTax jingle every 20 minutes. And I was always his bud after that

 

[FIREd]

Personally, I might share such accomplishment with my parents but I would otherwise keep it for myself. In these difficult economic times, I find that responses to economic successes are not always positive.

 

[eytonxav]

Congrats, its a major milestone event for most. For us, I would say friends are more nosy than family about this topic. We really have not volunteered the info to anyone, but if asked, I would probably be OK with answering vs saying MYOB.

 

[Rustward]

I told my brother because he asked once. The others probably wouldn't believe it even if I showed them the paperwork. Being the youngest with siblings 5, 9, and 13 years older can be frustrating. I wonder if they think to themselves " . . . but he's so young, how could he possibly be FI? (or have accomplished anything else)"
The brother probably asked because his DW was in the process of persuading him to buy her "the big house" with a 30 year fixed at about age 58. He makes a lot and they appear to spend most of it.

 

[Free To Canoe]

For the record, after we had our mortgage burning party, we were not particularly inundated with requests for money or snide remarks about our supposed wealth, but I do have a friend who periodically suggests I pick up the bar tab because I have that "sticker" (she means my Dave Ramsey Debt Free sticker) on my car. I think (hope) she's joking!
But because I am in the biz, as it were, people would expect our finances to be in better shape because we should know better, I guess.

Of course she is joking. Sounds like a good friend. You need to tell her one of the 1st rules of the Dave Ramsey club is to never pick up the tab!

OP question: Only you know your situation and can best decide how to handle it.
I will differ with many here and suggest that you share and celebrate your success. No man is an island. What we do influences those around us. I would not be surprised that news like this could snap someone out of "the fog of work" and get them to start thinking about their personal finances.

 

[FreeAtLast]

I am 59 and I paid off my mortgage about 5 years ago. I don't broadcast the information, however, if it comes up I am honest about it. You being younger might just want to say something vague like 'We will be getting there in a few years".

I would share it with the people in your same financial position.

Congrats! It gets even better when you realize that you have so much more free cash flow each month.

 

[HFWR]

You need to tell her one of the 1st rules of the Dave Ramsey club is to never pick up the tab!

+1

FWIW, I probably wouldn't tell anyone.

 

[Westernskies]

So, should I pay off my mortgage, or just not talk about it?

 

[ChadR]

I don't fault any of the individuals posting in this thread who advise against telling anyone or have chosen not to tell someone. I share many of those same feelings about sharing financial information since at the end of the day that is exactly what it is.

In America its pretty much taboo to talk about how much you make or how much debt you have.

However, reading this thread it struck me how sad that is. Its too bad that our culture is this way and that more people leading financially prudent lives can't speak up and lead by example for justifiable fears of reprisal.

Just a random thought that occurred to me while reading.

 

[bbbamI]

FWIW, I probably wouldn't tell anyone.

Not even us?

 

[Walt34]

We paid ours off over a decade ago but we've learned to be quiet about that. A few family members are clearly headed for financial train wrecks, some are going to be marginal, and a couple will do well.

One SIL in particular I can see is going to be particularly jealous when she gets "The Awakening" in about five years. But we haven't spent six figures over the last ten years on vacations, restaurants, hotels, and new-car depreciation like they did.

 

[nvestysly]

Ours is paid-off and we did not make it a point to tell anyone in a specific manner. If it comes up in conversation that's fine and we'll take a minute to discuss the benefits of frugality and related matters. Other than that we did not go out of our way to tell anyone.

The idea of a mortgage burning party is appealing. We didn't do that but it sure sounds like fun.