Parallel to "cheapskate" thread - What's the most redneck thing you've done?

[simple girl]

I've finally had to drop that word from my vocabulary due to all the misunderstandings & arguments about its proper southwest PA pronunciation. Same with "you'uns". It all came roaring back when we visited there last summer but our kid was learning a whole new language...

I'm originally from western PA, too, so I can relate! We also had, "I'm gonna rid up the kitchen"

Used a car hood for a sled...

Oh my gosh, how fun is that? I almost forgot about that one! We used to have big sledriding parties with a huge bonfire and of course a keg of beer.

 

[W2R]

Well, sledding is something I remember from my childhood (on Art Hill, in St. Louis, before my father ER'd to Hawaii). And then, a lot of gas stations in the South sell live bait. In 1975-1976, when I lived in Meridian (MS), there was a local gas station that advertised "motor oil, fried chicken, and worms!" which I thought was hilarious. We bought our worms at a fresh seafood bulk outlet near the ocean when we lived in Norfolk, Virginia (which isn't very Southern IMO), and in the San Diego area, worms were sold at the lake near our home.

The rest of this thread reinforces my belief that at heart, I am a city girl. Sure, there were cows a few blocks from our home in College Station, Texas, but I never actually had contact with them other than driving by on my way to A&M.

And "Derf"? I never heard of anyone named Derf. I did know one Darryl when I was a child in St. Louis, a friend of my parents who made millions in the lingerie manufacturing business. Who would have thought? And it wasn't even "adult" lingerie in those days. I thought he was very countrified because he had a riding lawn mower and belonged to a country club.

 

[GatorBuzz]

Oh, man, did I grow up redneck.

First time I ever had chewed tobacco (dip/snuff) I was seven. I had it pretty regularly for the next ten years or so.

First time I ever shot a 12 gauge shotgun I was four or five. We used to go dove/quail/duck hunting with three 12 gauges and six boys. We'd walk to a patch of woods that was maybe a hundred acres or so. This started when I was about seven. The youngest in our bunch was four and the person "in charge" was ten or eleven. Imagine driving down the road and seeing a four year old carrying a shotgun with five other young boys walking, two of which also carrying shotguns. Some of us wore shirts, others didn't. Now, mind you, this was not 1940 or 1950. This was the early 1980's.

I could go on and on. I honestly had no idea how redneck some of these things were until about age 15 when I started hanging out with less rednecky people in high school. They were good times and I look back on them not with regret or disgust (as some of my cousins do) but with amusement and a sort of pride. I'm glad that's how I grew up. I've just got to be careful when telling stories to my kids, lest they think they can do the same things.

 

[happy2bretired]

Ever see a one finger wave? (usually the INDEX finger not the OTHER one) Don't know if it's a midwest thing or not. Happens all the time in small towns when you pass a farmer. Doesn't matter if you know them or not. Just a "howdy".

 

[smileydog]

From Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if you have..."

3. Cooked a chicken wrapped in aluminum foil on the exhaust manifold driving from DC to Tyrone, PA. Yup, Dad actually did that.

O.K. did not cook on the maniforld but I chased it down, wrang neck, plucked, and ate chicken for supper.

 

[FinanceDude]

These are more Midwest than Redneck, but there seems to be some overlap.....

If You Grew Up in the Midwest , then.

You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.

You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.

You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.

You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!

You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.

You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.

You hear someone use the word 'oof-dah' and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.

You or someone you know was a 'Dairy Princess' at the county fair.

You know that 'combine' is a noun.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.

You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'pick'.

Football schedules, hunting season, and harvest, are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.

A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.

There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.

You have driven your car on the lake.

Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

The local gas station sells live bait.

At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

Sounds like my life growing up and living in Wisconsin...............

 

[FinanceDude]

These are more Midwest than Redneck, but there seems to be some overlap.....

If You Grew Up in the Midwest , then.

You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.

Fer sure.........

You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.

it's how high corn should be in the farmer's field by that date to ensure a good year for corn.......

You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.

Well, we did........

You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!

John Deere is the best!!

You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.

Hey, it's cheaper than Wal-Mart!!

You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.

Since a fair number of my frat brothers were there, of course we did!

You hear someone use the word 'oof-dah' and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.

DW said it the other day.......

You or someone you know was a 'Dairy Princess' at the county fair.

I dated one in college, NOT the Hereford!!

You know that 'combine' is a noun.

Our neighbor's had air conditioning AND a tap player........

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.

ONCE.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.

I was baptized both, but don't ask about that......

You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'pick'.

Of course it does

Football schedules, hunting season, and harvest, are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.

Yup.........although in my case we needed a noon wedding and reception almost immediately following, so DW's uncles could get back to milk cows........

A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.

More like Schlitz Malt Liquor and going bowling........

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.

Why wait for Saturday??

There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.

Yes.......

You have driven your car on the lake.

Yes, I have......

Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.

I have video to prove it..........

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

And ONE gas station........and a supper club

The local gas station sells live bait.

How did you know?

At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.

Mine no, the neighbor, yes........

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

It isn't??

 

[unclemick]

Ever see a one finger wave? (usually the INDEX finger not the OTHER one) Don't know if it's a midwest thing or not. Happens all the time in small towns when you pass a farmer. Doesn't matter if you know them or not. Just a "howdy".

Heck - they have me doing it driving - in the city - Kansas City!

heh heh heh - Didn't realize I picked up the habit til I read your post.

 

[youbet]

Ever see a one finger wave? (usually the INDEX finger not the OTHER one) Don't know if it's a midwest thing or not. Happens all the time in small towns when you pass a farmer. Doesn't matter if you know them or not. Just a "howdy".

Absolutely. Years ago when I was introducing DW to some of the rural haunts of my youth, she was totally confused by the little flick of the index finger (while still holding the wheel) I was exchanging with passing drivers as we traveled gravel roads in NW Illinois. I've noticed it in northern Minnesota too.

 

[hankster]

The index finger wave is prevalent in rural Montana as well. Now as for small town entertainment in Montana:

1.Watching the guy at the Texaco station change tires.
2.Using well cured cow pies in discus throwing contests.
3.Hunting ground squirrels with a .22 rifle or bow and arrows.
4.Jumping our biycles off of perilously high hills of dirt (the fun usually
ended when some poor dude came down full force on the bar or seat
with an especially sensitive part of the male anatomy.)
5.Floating down the local irrigation canal in inner tubes.
6.Feeding scraps of raw deer meat to our neighbors dog to give it
REALLY bad gas and laugh our butts off as said neighbor loudly berated
the poor canine as he kicked him out the door of the house.

I could go on all day!

 

[happy2bretired]

I wonder if the one finger wave sorta originated from tipping one's hat like the sometimes do in westerns? Before they had steering wheels.

 

[W2R]

I wonder if the one finger wave sorta originated from tipping one's hat like the sometimes do in westerns? Before they had steering wheels.

In south Louisiana, and some other parts of the South, people do a full wave (all five fingers) often while driving. For example, you do it in your neighborhood when you see your neighbors (even if you don't recognize them), you do it when someone yields to let you move out of a driveway or minor street onto a major street, or in conjunction with courtesy when driving. This is something that I will really miss when I move up north.

After Katrina, with all the out of state contractors and carpetbaggers in town in their big shiny F-350's, the small courtesies and waving when driving seemed to disappear. Things were rougher and traffic was awful. Driving was no fun. But gradually, as the contractors and carpetbaggers go home, driving is getting easier once again and people are waving as frequently as ever, now.

 

[calmloki]

Well, don't really think of it as redneck, but we used to have outhouse burnings at every little place we bought as i was growing up, those places always came with free chickens (Hah! only fooled us once!) - wild Bantys that roosted in the trees, hid their nests, and were uncatchable. We loaded and trucked home hay, then later cut, raked,and baled our own - with an old round baler. Had a 22 rifle around the age of 12, about the same time our folks gave my sister and me Sam and Waldo for Christmas - they were in the livingroom for Christmas morning. Had pigs and would entice to momma pig away with food so we could steal and gunnysack the piglets for sale. When the pigglets squealed and momma pig came running the catcher had to be pretty quick. Big pigs were loaded by putting a bucket over their head - think we used to back them where they needed to go then. Went to school late because we needed to catch and load cattle for auction. Milking cows by hand and squirting the barn cats, yup. Sticking your forehead into the depression in front of the hind leg and pinching her tail in my knee joint while milking to keep her foot out of the bucket and keep from getting slapped with the tail, unhhunh. Forcing whole raw eggs, with shell, into the mouths of young calves with scurry to stop the diarehia. 2 cylinder Poppin' Johnney Deere tractor that you started with compression release valves and spinning the flywheel by hand - thing would blow smoke rings. Good little Ford tractor for almost any use. Using a black powder splitting gun that you drove into the butt of a log with a sledge and touched off with dynamite fuse. When it went off the log would split and the steel splitting gun - maybe 16" long and 1 1/2" diameter would fly waaaay up in the air - you wanted to keep an eye on where it was... Water from streams and springs - when it came out of the tap muddy it was a sign that you needed to go get a calf out of there before it died. Thump pumps! Molasses straight from the 55 gallon drum on bread - it was actually to improve the palatability of feed for the cattle, i agreed, bread was more palatable with that strong molasses. Collecting eggs and not washing them if you wanted them to last a long time. Dumping garbage in the same spot on the farm that prior owner had for decades.

Sam and Waldo were donkeys BTW - my dog Blackie would eat carrots if she saw the donkies getting them - she didn't see that we had any need for them and was willing to prove it.

Grange Hall dances?

 

[Nords]

3.Hunting ground squirrels with a .22 rifle or bow and arrows.

The U.S. Naval Academy is overrun with squirrels and the mids frequently feed them peanuts or other munchies. Since all the mids wear the same uniform, the squirrels think that they're all the same person and that they're all carrying squirrel food. They'll practically eat from your hand, and if you're sitting on a bench without feeding them then you'll get hurt looks from the bolder ones.

You can see where this is going. My roomate smelled something cooking in the dorm (illegally) one holiday weekend and tracked the scent to its source. A good ol' West Virginia boy had been culling the squirrel population and selling the skins while getting free meat. He didn't even have to buy ammunition, and couldn't believe what a deal he was getting "for just a handful of peanuts!"

... or in conjunction with courtesy when driving. This is something that I will really miss when I move up north.

You'll have to start giving them the shaka back.

From the [-]homeports[/-] towns you've mentioned I'm beginning to speculate that you were raised Navy...

 

[W2R]

Wild chickens? Piglets in bags? Cow milking techniques? Donkeys? Eek!!

 

[W2R]

You'll have to start giving them the shaka back.

From the [-]homeports[/-] towns you've mentioned I'm beginning to speculate that you were raised Navy...

Navy wife. He just did 10 years, but that accounts for Meridian, Norfolk, and San Diego, plus Honolulu where we originally met.

My father was a surgeon (and understandably not thrilled about me marrying a Navy sonar tech). Remember what they tell young island girls? Don't date a military man or you'll leave and never come back. Guess that has been true, for me, though my life has been fun anyway.

I had completely forgotten about the shaka! I haven't lived there in such a long time.

 

[Nords]

Remember what they tell young island girls? Don't date a military man or you'll leave and never come back.

And that's exactly why some of the locals (both genders now) choose to date military!

 

[W2R]

And that's exactly why some of the locals (both genders now) choose to date military!

Probably that would work, for those who want to leave the islands! I really didn't, at the time, but was madly in LOVE... y'know how that is when you're young. That and not much else held our marriage together for 23 years, before it cratered.

 

[calmloki]

Wild chickens? Piglets in bags? Cow milking techniques? Donkeys? Eek!!

That's all pretty staid, but consider that cattle aren't real respectful of water supplies. Sometimes it wasn't just muddy water.... My Mom used to discriminate between country dirt (not harmful) and city dirt (nasty disgusting stuff). A country mouse was clean and friendly, while a city rat was probably carrying all manner of vile diseases - probably did drugs and smoked, withall. Things that got cooked were held to be safe for consumption, though if you noticed the bug or maybe the dark flecks in the biscuits that could have been almost anything, but probably came from the critter that left the wee mousey footyprints in the flour in the bin - it was ok to pick those out.

 

[W2R]

That's all pretty staid, but consider that cattle aren't real respectful of water supplies. Sometimes it wasn't just muddy water.... My Mom used to discriminate between country dirt (not harmful) and city dirt (nasty disgusting stuff). A country mouse was clean and friendly, while a city rat was probably carrying all manner of vile diseases - probably did drugs and smoked, withall. Things that got cooked were held to be safe for consumption, though if you noticed the bug or maybe the dark flecks in the biscuits that could have been almost anything, but probably came from the critter that left the wee mousey footyprints in the flour in the bin - it was ok to pick those out.

!!! Double EEK!!

No mousy footprints for me!!

Well, I must admit that growing up on the beach in Hawaii, I had cane spiders and coconut mice and a lot of unspecified insects crawling over me at night a lot. But I regarded them as clean and not a health hazard so much as an annoyance. We kept all grains, flour, and cereals in the freezer, and when the termites swarmed, their little dead bodies would be 6" deep all over the house and we would sweep them up into the trash cans. Didn't worry about it, though. Guess it's all in the attitude.

But to tell you the honest truth, I am terrified of cows!!! I have never been near one without a fence in between, and I would be afraid it might step on me or push me over or something. So, tropical vermin aside, I am more the city girl than a redneck.

 

[cantlogin]

...But to tell you the honest truth, I am terrified of cows!!! I have never been near one without a fence in between, and I would be afraid it might step on me or push me over or something. So, tropical vermin aside, I am more the city girl than a redneck.

That's not the way cow tipping is supposed to work.

 

[W2R]

That's not the way cow tipping is supposed to work.

 

[Khan]

Wild chickens? Piglets in bags? Cow milking techniques? Donkeys? Eek!!

This is all making me somewhat nostalgic.

 

[W2R]

This is all making me somewhat nostalgic.

Each to his own!!

 

[CuppaJoe]

These are more Midwest than Redneck, but there seems to be some overlap.....

If You Grew Up in the Midwest , then.
....
You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
...
You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.

You or someone you know was a 'Dairy Princess' at the county fair.

You know that 'combine' is a noun.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.

Football schedules, hunting season, and harvest, are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.

There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.

You have driven your car on the lake.

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

The local gas station sells live bait.

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

*****

Since I moved out West I would add, "you can't take the twang out of a mid-westerner."

I deleted some relating to alcohol because the third major religion was Methodist, which really screwed me up. In some towns, all the people live in the tavern.

My fave is driving on the lake!