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Parallel to "cheapskate" thread - What's the most redneck thing you've done?
Old 02-20-2008, 07:51 PM   #1
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Parallel to "cheapskate" thread - What's the most redneck thing you've done?

From Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if you have..."

1. Gone to the dump and brought back more than we brought. Yes, Dad and I actually did that once.
2. Had sex in the back of a pickup truck. It was okay - the truck had a cap on it and I married her.
3. Cooked a chicken wrapped in aluminum foil on the exhaust manifold driving from DC to Tyrone, PA. Yup, Dad actually did that.
4. Stuck a firecracker in a pile of dog doo and lit it. Yeah, well, not one of my brighter moments. I think the six-pack had something to do with it....
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:02 PM   #2
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This is gonna be a great thread!

1) If your neighbor's goat chases you up a tree and then keeps clawing up at you while you yell for help, you might be a....
2) If staying over at your best friend's house when you were little meant you used a "pot" to go at night and dumped it in the morning outside, you might be a...
3) If you grew up on a dirt road and ran out front every time a car drove by to see who it was, you might be a...
4) If part of your entertainment was yelling out across the field to hear your voice echo back, you might be a...

Oh, so many more....
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:26 PM   #3
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If you've been attacked by geese
If the directions to your house include 'turn off the paved road'
If you remember getting an indoor toilet
If you heated water in the reservoir on the wood stove
If you took a bath in the kitchen in the galvanized steel tub
If the laundry was done on Monday in a wringer washer
If you carried the chicken guts from the shed to the pigpen
If you were sent to bring the cows in for milking

-done all of the above
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:28 PM   #4
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My Father was a minor Union official(loggers/woodworkers) with the appropriate split of refugees from Michigan/Arkansas(pay attention this is serious).

Good politician that he was we had both a 29 Buick up on blocks AND a white picket fence with tulips planted out front.

heh heh heh - was a financial secretary(the title) for ten years before he returned to working on log trains.

heh heh heh - the radio station in town was Country KLOG with the Scandinavian music hour special on Sunday afternoon.

heh heh heh - good old rock and roll came out of Portland and other sinful places. "I loved her but she done me wrong - so I threw her down that open pit mine in Prescott Arizona."

And yes I used to pull wood pickets off the Norwegian widow's fence after getting off the Kindergarten bus cause people up the gravel road had really big mean Geese!
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:42 PM   #5
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Hmmm - have you ever played football in a cowpasture and used fresh cow pies as extra linemen?

heh heh heh
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:48 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unclemick View Post
Hmmm - have you ever played football in a cowpasture and used fresh cow pies as extra linemen?

heh heh heh
Played baseball and used them as bases.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:01 PM   #7
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Grew up in Ohio country farm areas. Yep guess I got some redneck in me
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:05 PM   #8
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We were driving around looking for a waterfall. We were lost down one of many logging roads. We ran across a gentleman dressed up in true yooper fashion out for a walk. We asked him if he knew where these falls were. He responded "ya go down the road and turn where da firetower useta be before dey tore it down". We gave up at that point.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:06 PM   #9
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Grew up on and around small farms in NY and ME.

Recall waking up with a small snowdrift near the bedroom window.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:06 PM   #10
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I have never done any of these things!! Looks like I'm not a redneck.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:13 PM   #11
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Quote:
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Hmmm - have you ever played football in a cowpasture and used fresh cow pies as extra linemen?

heh heh heh
That reminds me. Ever turn over cowpies to find worms for goin' fishin'?

Eeeeewwwh. I've gotten soft and citified (is that a word?) over the years!

We used to also go out with a flashlight to catch nightcrawlers at night (they come up to the surface of the lawn at night...you have to be quick)
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:20 PM   #12
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Me neither.

To this day I'm sworn to secrecy on my Grandmother's formula for raising the best fishworms - a good Finn - it starts with old coffee grounds , sugar and a few other unnamed ingredients.

I never squished anything higher than pennies on the railroad track.

I never got any of those round glass insulators on the power poles to break with my BB gun either.

Never met a girl named Debbie(until years later when I moved to New Orleans) - Janice, Rita, Mary Ann, Loretta - no Debbie's.

heh heh heh -
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:26 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unclemick View Post
Me neither.

To this day I'm sworn to secrecy on my Grandmother's formula for raising the best fishworms - a good Finn - it starts with old coffee grounds , sugar and a few other unnamed ingredients.

I never squished anything higher than pennies on the railroad track.
My cousins occasionally did dimes and quarters.

Quote:
I never got any of those round glass insulators on the power poles to break with my BB gun either.
My aunt still has several of those.

Quote:
Never met a girl named Debbie(until years later when I moved to New Orleans) - Janice, Rita, Mary Ann, Loretta - no Debbie's.
My sister's high school class of '73 had 9 Debbie's out of 200 students.

Quote:
heh heh heh -
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:47 PM   #14
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If you had a party line phone (2 longs, 2 shorts for us)
If you know how to make chickens sleep
If the barn cats ever licked your face after your dad squirted milk on it (straight from the cow).
If your brother and sister are named, respectively, Darryl and Darlene.
If you got kicked out of a dance at the Baptist church.
If your clothes looked like cardboard after going through the wringer.
If you ever had a spring house.
If you have a pile of coal in the yard.
If you know where the duck lays its eggs.
If you've changed out the engine in your car under a tree.
If the demolition derby and a stock car race on a quarter mile dirt track is the highlight of Saturday night.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:51 PM   #15
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My older brother lassoed the neighbor's goat and it chased him into our garage - still holding onto the rope.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:57 PM   #16
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Been to stock cars races, tractor pulls, and demolition derbies...

Drank moonshine from a jar...

Used a car hood for a sled...

Drove the lawn tractor to town...

Generally avoid cow pies, though...
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Old 02-20-2008, 10:19 PM   #17
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If the demolition derby and a stock car race on a quarter mile dirt track is the highlight of Saturday night.
Well..... unless you went to the roller rink that Saturday!
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Old 02-20-2008, 10:39 PM   #18
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If you:

Leave the index pages in the Sears catalog for company
Read the obits to get a 'heads up' on good deals on mason jars
Go home by 11:00 AM to get the green beans started for dinner
Would ruther eat boiled peanuts for road trip food than anything else
Refuse to drive north of PA because there's no Stuckey's stores anywhere!
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Old 02-20-2008, 10:44 PM   #19
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This post brings back memories...

R
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Old 02-20-2008, 10:46 PM   #20
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One of the more "fun" things I did as a kid was bail hay. I probably never do that again in my life. Gives you a decent perspective at any rate.
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