People saying funny (awkward) things

[ls99]

Just happened this morning.

Walking out of the Y, a young woman is coming in, wearing a black T shirt with large gold capital lettering "NAUGHTY". I read it aloud. She blushed and covered her chest with two hands to hide the word.

[Totoro]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst *Or by pulling up dramatically in his car at sight of you on the sidewalk, or turning cartwheels, or declaiming "Behold, I, Antony, see my Cleopatra approach!" all of which actually happened.

The best part is in small print

As a historically (and current, but less so) socially awkward male, I kind of resent not being given proper training on how to interact with women.

The friendship part is easy enough to figure out, the rest .. oh boy. By now I also gathered that lots of women also have no clue. That's oddly comforting, yet also a tad depressing.

So I dearly empathize with both Antony, and Cleopatra.

[Winemaker]

While in high school and college, I had the great fortune to work in a hardware store . It provided a great education that I used through out my life; especially with repairs around my rentals.

One evening, while working with an extremely attractive female classmate/cashier, another long time employee, the phone rang up front and I heard her slam it back down after she answered it. A few moments pass, the phone rings again, she answers, and again another slam. Once again, the phone rings and she hollers back for me to answer, as she refuses to answer it.

I pick up and an elder customer who we both knew at the store, was on the line, very apologetic. He had assumed that after several years working with plumbing parts, that she would know if she had brass or chrome nipples.

[Gumby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by O2Bfree I think that these days you're not suppose to acknowledge a woman's pregnancy unless she brings it up because there's the chance that she's not pregnant, just overweight. At eight months though you were probably ok.

Several years ago, one of the young women in my office announced that she was pregnant. I said, "Really? I thought you were just getting fat."

[socca]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mystang52 I committed a major, unintentional, faux pas once. I had a diametrically opposite approach to a w*rk issue with my (attractive) female counterpart. Since we were of equal rank, it was a Mexican stand-off. After considerable back-and-forth discussion, I said, "it's getting late in the day. Let's sleep on this and discuss again in the morning." It was truly an innocent statement, but her look of horror had me scared I was going to be summoned to HR.

Many years ago, I was a young engineer at a megacorp. I would attach a quote to each of my weekly status reports just for fun. One week, I attached the following:

Quote:

Being dirty, dangerous, and irrational are the historic qualities associated with menstruating women. As late as the 1950s, scientists were attempting to prove that women gave off "menotoxins" that were believed to cause death to flowers and to rats in which they were injected. As early as Leviticus 15:19, if a man touched woman during her menses, he was unclean. She had to be "put apart" for seven days. Certain Mexican-Americans believe that if a woman urinates outdoors during her menses, her uterus will be invaded by lizards who will build a nest there; later the victim will give birth to a litter of reptiles. Avodah K. Offit

My status report travelled all the way to the top of the management hierarchy, and even went outside the corporation. I spent a nervous weekend afraid that I would be fired. Fortunately, I had immediately apologized to the Christian fundamentalists on the staff, and only had to take a remedial class in interpersonal relationships as punishment. I kept my job. To this day, I am perhaps more forgiving than most when younguns do stupid things. After all, they're young!

[Meadbh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by socca Many years ago, I was a young engineer at a megacorp. I would attach a quote to each of my weekly status reports just for fun. One week, I attached the following: My status report travelled all the way to the top of the management hierarchy, and even went outside the corporation. I spent a nervous weekend afraid that I would be fired. Fortunately, I had immediately apologized to the Christian fundamentalists on the staff, and only had to take a remedial class in interpersonal relationships as punishment. I kept my job. To this day, I am perhaps more forgiving than most when younguns do stupid things. After all, they're young!

If I had been your boss, you would have been fired.

[socca]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meadbh If I had been your boss, you would have been fired.

The folks who were offended were much less so when they found out the quote's author was female (a sex therapist). My immediate boss was supportive, and like most scandals it all immediately blew over.

[MRG]

I recall a sole female cow*rker in our very close 6 person team. Actually one of the best tightly connected, fun loving teams I'd ever been on. She was very much a tomboy and afraid of children. Seriously afraid of children, like walk on the other side of the street afraid.

One day I come in and she tells me she's pregnant! I'm pretty shocked as is the rest of the team. One by one she tells other coworkers about her pregnancy and eventually a few people become concerned about her. This woman was deathly afraid of children, why would she do this? Eventually our manager called me at home on a Sunday expressing his concerns about our teams newly expecting mom, a role no one could see her in.

That weekend I became convinced that she was playing a great practical joke on everybody! It was the only reasonable explanation. She was kinda a joker and there hadn't been any pranks done lately so that has to be the story.

As I nicely confronted her that Monday morning how she had pulled off the greatest prank in Megacorp history, its time to tell the punchline, the tears started rolling down her face.....

She's forgiven me a long time ago.

[growing_older]

Quote:

I think that these days you're not suppose to acknowledge a woman's pregnancy unless she brings it up because there's the chance that she's not pregnant, just overweight. At eight months though you were probably ok.

A new female director started recently, obviously 7-8 months pregnant. Very distinctive body shape. But until someone specifically tells me she's pregnant, I'm not saying anything about it. Good thing, six months later she's still the same distinctive pregnant shape. That's just the shape she is. Not pregnant. Just shaped like it.


PS. If anyone at my work attached a gratuitous joke quote about menstruation and unclean women to a status report, they would have been immediately fired FOR CAUSE. Maybe many years ago your work environment was so sexually hostile that this didn't raise the red flags it would today. This isn't a gray area now. This is the kind of stuff that gets companies sued if they don't deal with it.

[Amethyst]

Oh, I loved it. I think I was 16. I had very long, dark hair, so it was a compliment, although the boys were enough older than I was (probably ancient silverbacks of 19 or 20) that I was a little scared too.

Social awkwardness never bothered me a bit! In fact, excess social smoothness can be a warning flag, or so I believe. My radar was always "on" for any hint of meanness or sarcasm, though. Those are the flags of insecurity, and perhaps trouble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Totoro As a historically (and current, but less so) socially awkward male, I kind of resent not being given proper training on how to interact with women. So I dearly empathize with both Antony, and Cleopatra.

[Amethyst]

She's wearing a sign, but people are not allowed to read it out loud? That's just wrong.

Some people wear T-shirts with obscene slogans, just hoping [I suspect] that someone will read it out loud!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ls99 Just happened this morning. Walking out of the Y, a young woman is coming in, wearing a black T shirt with large gold capital lettering "NAUGHTY". I read it aloud. She blushed and covered her chest with two hands to hide the word.

[poorcarver]

My personal favorite along these lines was when I was walking down the street and a young lady was walking toward me with a tee shirt showing a picture of Einstein in blue on the front and red on the back. I looked at it, looked at the back as she passed and burst out laughing. She stopped dead and said, I wish you would tell me what is so funny about my a**s. Try explaining Doppler shift to a science challenged, mad female. I tried for a minute and quit.

[Amethyst]

Or to almost anybody, come to think of it. Unless he/she is on this forum

Or designs T-shirts

Quote:

Originally Posted by poorcarver Try explaining Doppler shift to a science challenged, mad female.

[pb4uski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst Well, it's my thread, so I can and will comment. As a young woman, I was naturally interested in men, and being an analytical sort, I tried to figure them out. I wanted it all boiled down to a set of rules, or at least apothegms. I observed men and talked to other women, and sometimes to men, about them. 1) If a young man is not attracted to you, he ignores you. You might as well be 70 years old. 2) If a young man is attracted to you, he will size up his chances of getting with you. If he thinks he's got a chance, he will work to get your attention. Usually by being nice, sometimes by friendly teasing. * He wants to see if you have a sense of humor, but he does not want to embarrass you. 3) If he's attracted, but thinks he has no chance - that's when the dirty innuendos might come out, if he is that kind of fellow. It's a resentment thing. He wants you to know he is thinking about you in a sexual way, whether you like it or not. If he can get you to react with confusion or dismay, especially if there are others who see your reaction, so much the better. Anyway, that's how I interpreted male behavior, way back when! *Or by pulling up dramatically in his car at sight of you on the sidewalk, or turning cartwheels, or declaiming "Behold, I, Antony, see my Cleopatra approach!" all of which actually happened.

In my experience, way back when as a young man, my approach might vary widely depending on whether my time horizon for the relationship was decades or hours.

Though I have a good friend who dated a girl with an hours time horizon and somehow it turned into decades... stuff happens.

[O2Bfree]

Quote:

Originally Posted by growing_older A new female director started recently, obviously 7-8 months pregnant. Very distinctive body shape. But until someone specifically tells me she's pregnant, I'm not saying anything about it. Good thing, six months later she's still the same distinctive pregnant shape. That's just the shape she is. Not pregnant. Just shaped like it.

Yup, there's a lady in my office like that too. She is, I believe, probably too old to be pregnant, which likely deflects many queries from people who don't know her very well.

[Chuckanut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by poorcarver My personal favorite along these lines was when I was walking down the street and a young lady was walking toward me with a tee shirt showing a picture of Einstein in blue on the front and red on the back. I looked at it, looked at the back as she passed and burst out laughing. She stopped dead and said, I wish you would tell me what is so funny about my a**s. Try explaining Doppler shift to a science challenged, mad female. I tried for a minute and quit.

I love science jokes.

One of my favorites that I have seen on t-shirts is:

Never Trust an Atom, They Make Up Everything.

[Amethyst]

Ha! I have seen men I wanted to ask when the baby was due! (But I didn't).

Quote:

Originally Posted by O2Bfree Yup, there's a lady in my office like that too. She is, I believe, probably too old to be pregnant, which likely deflects many queries from people who don't know her very well.

[calmloki]

Fall of 1969 I was flying through LA and had a layover long enough to dawdle in an airport coffee shop. Was just back from my first Westpac cruise. There was an attractive pregnant waitress who kinda reminded me of a serene Madonna kinda motherhood - it just really grabbed me emotionally (I was 8 months on a naval destroyer and away from US womankind). Told the older waitress filling my cup how beautiful I found the other, pregnant waitress. A bit later the pregnant waitress came over to let me know that she appreciated my comment, but that she was not.pregnant.
I can only imagine the older waitress phrased my awkward statement in a more becoming manner when she relayed it.

Ended up flying up from San Diego at a later time and spending some time with her. This country boy got to meet her brother, visit the Watts Towers, pick up food at a rib joint and eat a meal with her family in Watts. Good to get a small taste of being in a minority.

[Major Tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by growing_older A new female director started recently, obviously 7-8 months pregnant. Very distinctive body shape. But until someone specifically tells me she's pregnant, I'm not saying anything about it. Good thing, six months later she's still the same distinctive pregnant shape. That's just the shape she is. Not pregnant. Just shaped like it.

I have a good friend who also has what you might call "a pregnant shape". She's fairly slim, and I think she may have some excessive spinal curvature that causes her to naturally push her stomach forward and her butt back a bit. On top of that, she has a rather severe case of fibroids that makes her stomach look more prominent than usual (they are surprisingly large). She is used to co-workers asking if she's pregnant. It used to bother her, but she now fends them off with a truncated version of what is actually going on. That usually has the dual effect of confusing them and ensuring they don't ask further questions. Some of her co-workers come from other, very family-oriented cultures. Often, their curiosity is genuinely intended to be friendly, and I think some of them don't realize that those sorts of questions to someone you don't know very well can also be considered invasive.

[ls99]

Earlier in this thread I wrote about recognizing fellow skaters from various angles etc..
Well, Chimps one upped me. I have no experience recognizing friends by their bare butts. Chimps are masters of the art.

Chimps can recognise friends with a single glance at their butt | Daily Mail Online

"Chimpanzees can spot their friends just as easily from a glance at their rear end as a look at their face, researchers have found.
Just as faces serve as an epicenter of social information for humans, so too do chimp rears, they claim.
One glance can offer clues to attractiveness and health."