People saying funny (awkward) things

[Amethyst]

If you knew she was pregnant, it's fine.

Back in my Mother's day, women tried to disguise pregnancy with bulky clothing, whereas nowadays young women wear tight tops to make the bulge unmistakeable!

Please tell me this wasn't awkward: I saw my doc once when she was eight months pregnant. When she said goodbye, I said, "Good luck with the birth!"

That was okay, right?

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

And then there's Amethyst, who would hear later on from another colleague that "He was hitting on you" or "He went a little far with that remark," and go, "Uh - he was?"

I can be so oblivious. The "I'm getting off now," "Can I watch?" remark would have gone right under my feet. In fact, I had to think about it for a while on the thread.

Well I know there's a lot of horndogs out there but the bottom line for me is a lot of men are not that way. If the gentlemen out there can't have a conversation with a woman without being accused of sexual harassment , how can that be a healthy society? I don't want to derail the thread so that is all I will say about it. But yes some men are perverts.

 

[Winemaker]

Well I know there's a lot of horndogs out there but the bottom line for me is a lot of men are not that way.

As Oprah or Dr. Phil has alluded, every 7 seconds!

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

As Oprah or Dr. Phil has alluded, every 7 seconds!

I have to bite my tongue and not comment because I said I would not. But I sure could!

 

[MoreTimetoRide]

Jeff Foxworthy's here's your sign would be a perfect response for that waitress.

IIRC, Bill Engvall does the "Here's Your Sign" bit. Jeff Foxworthy is "You Might be a Redneck."

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

IIRC, Bill Engvall does the "Here's Your Sign" bit. Jeff Foxworthy is "You Might be a Redneck."

Ok. Thank you .

 

[HFWR]

"Amethyst, I thought I recognized you from behind!"

Useless without pics...

 

[Clone]

I was working with a client from the Boston area who had traveled to our office in the midwest. He came in one morning and told us this story:

"I really thought I had something started last night! I was at a grocery store and the gal asked me if I wanted my 'pop in the sack'! Turns out she wanted to know if she should but my soda in a bag!"

 

[MRG]

I was working with a client from the Boston area who had traveled to our office in the midwest. He came in one morning and told us this story:

"I really thought I had something started last night! I was at a grocery store and the gal asked me if I wanted my 'pop in the sack'! Turns out she wanted to know if she should but my soda in a bag!"

There was a liquor store I would purchase from and got to know the one cashier a little. Pretty young woman, mid 20s, cheery, and just a little bubbly.

One day I passed a fellow(60s) on my way in shaking his head. When I see her she's blushing. She tells me she offered the fellow a sack and he got way too happy about it. When she asked what he thought she offered, he replied "I thought you asked if I wanted to have sex".

 

[Amethyst]

Well, it's my thread, so I can and will comment.

As a young woman, I was naturally interested in men, and being an analytical sort, I tried to figure them out. I wanted it all boiled down to a set of rules, or at least apothegms. I observed men and talked to other women, and sometimes to men, about them.

1) If a young man is not attracted to you, he ignores you. You might as well be 70 years old.

2) If a young man is attracted to you, he will size up his chances of getting with you. If he thinks he's got a chance, he will work to get your attention. Usually by being nice, sometimes by friendly teasing. * He wants to see if you have a sense of humor, but he does not want to embarrass you.

3) If he's attracted, but thinks he has no chance - that's when the dirty innuendos might come out, if he is that kind of fellow. It's a resentment thing. He wants you to know he is thinking about you in a sexual way, whether you like it or not. If he can get you to react with confusion or dismay, especially if there are others who see your reaction, so much the better.

Anyway, that's how I interpreted male behavior, way back when!

*Or by pulling up dramatically in his car at sight of you on the sidewalk, or turning cartwheels, or declaiming "Behold, I, Antony, see my Cleopatra approach!" all of which actually happened.

I have to bite my tongue and not comment because I said I would not. But I sure could!

 

[ls99]

Just happened this morning.

Walking out of the Y, a young woman is coming in, wearing a black T shirt with large gold capital lettering "NAUGHTY". I read it aloud. She blushed and covered her chest with two hands to hide the word.

 

[Totoro]

*Or by pulling up dramatically in his car at sight of you on the sidewalk, or turning cartwheels, or declaiming "Behold, I, Antony, see my Cleopatra approach!" all of which actually happened.

The best part is in small print

As a historically (and current, but less so) socially awkward male, I kind of resent not being given proper training on how to interact with women.

The friendship part is easy enough to figure out, the rest .. oh boy. By now I also gathered that lots of women also have no clue. That's oddly comforting, yet also a tad depressing.

So I dearly empathize with both Antony, and Cleopatra.

 

[Winemaker]

While in high school and college, I had the great fortune to work in a hardware store . It provided a great education that I used through out my life; especially with repairs around my rentals.

One evening, while working with an extremely attractive female classmate/cashier, another long time employee, the phone rang up front and I heard her slam it back down after she answered it. A few moments pass, the phone rings again, she answers, and again another slam. Once again, the phone rings and she hollers back for me to answer, as she refuses to answer it.

I pick up and an elder customer who we both knew at the store, was on the line, very apologetic. He had assumed that after several years working with plumbing parts, that she would know if she had brass or chrome nipples.

 

[Gumby]

I think that these days you're not suppose to acknowledge a woman's pregnancy unless she brings it up because there's the chance that she's not pregnant, just overweight.

At eight months though you were probably ok.

Several years ago, one of the young women in my office announced that she was pregnant. I said, "Really? I thought you were just getting fat."

 

[socca]

I committed a major, unintentional, faux pas once. I had a diametrically opposite approach to a w*rk issue with my (attractive) female counterpart. Since we were of equal rank, it was a Mexican stand-off. After considerable back-and-forth discussion, I said, "it's getting late in the day. Let's sleep on this and discuss again in the morning." It was truly an innocent statement, but her look of horror had me scared I was going to be summoned to HR.

Many years ago, I was a young engineer at a megacorp. I would attach a quote to each of my weekly status reports just for fun. One week, I attached the following:

Being dirty, dangerous, and irrational are the historic qualities associated with menstruating women. As late as the 1950s, scientists were attempting to prove that women gave off "menotoxins" that were believed to cause death to flowers and to rats in which they were injected. As early as Leviticus 15:19, if a man touched woman during her menses, he was unclean. She had to be "put apart" for seven days. Certain Mexican-Americans believe that if a woman urinates outdoors during her menses, her uterus will be invaded by lizards who will build a nest there; later the victim will give birth to a litter of reptiles.

Avodah K. Offit

My status report travelled all the way to the top of the management hierarchy, and even went outside the corporation. I spent a nervous weekend afraid that I would be fired. Fortunately, I had immediately apologized to the Christian fundamentalists on the staff, and only had to take a remedial class in interpersonal relationships as punishment. I kept my job. To this day, I am perhaps more forgiving than most when younguns do stupid things. After all, they're young!

 

[Meadbh]

Many years ago, I was a young engineer at a megacorp. I would attach a quote to each of my weekly status reports just for fun. One week, I attached the following:



My status report travelled all the way to the top of the management hierarchy, and even went outside the corporation. I spent a nervous weekend afraid that I would be fired. Fortunately, I had immediately apologized to the Christian fundamentalists on the staff, and only had to take a remedial class in interpersonal relationships as punishment. I kept my job. To this day, I am perhaps more forgiving than most when younguns do stupid things. After all, they're young!

If I had been your boss, you would have been fired.

 

[socca]

If I had been your boss, you would have been fired.

The folks who were offended were much less so when they found out the quote's author was female (a sex therapist). My immediate boss was supportive, and like most scandals it all immediately blew over.

 

[MRG]

I recall a sole female cow*rker in our very close 6 person team. Actually one of the best tightly connected, fun loving teams I'd ever been on. She was very much a tomboy and afraid of children. Seriously afraid of children, like walk on the other side of the street afraid.

One day I come in and she tells me she's pregnant! I'm pretty shocked as is the rest of the team. One by one she tells other coworkers about her pregnancy and eventually a few people become concerned about her. This woman was deathly afraid of children, why would she do this? Eventually our manager called me at home on a Sunday expressing his concerns about our teams newly expecting mom, a role no one could see her in.

That weekend I became convinced that she was playing a great practical joke on everybody! It was the only reasonable explanation. She was kinda a joker and there hadn't been any pranks done lately so that has to be the story.

As I nicely confronted her that Monday morning how she had pulled off the greatest prank in Megacorp history, its time to tell the punchline, the tears started rolling down her face.....

She's forgiven me a long time ago.

 

[growing_older]

I think that these days you're not suppose to acknowledge a woman's pregnancy unless she brings it up because there's the chance that she's not pregnant, just overweight.

At eight months though you were probably ok.

A new female director started recently, obviously 7-8 months pregnant. Very distinctive body shape. But until someone specifically tells me she's pregnant, I'm not saying anything about it. Good thing, six months later she's still the same distinctive pregnant shape. That's just the shape she is. Not pregnant. Just shaped like it.


PS. If anyone at my work attached a gratuitous joke quote about menstruation and unclean women to a status report, they would have been immediately fired FOR CAUSE. Maybe many years ago your work environment was so sexually hostile that this didn't raise the red flags it would today. This isn't a gray area now. This is the kind of stuff that gets companies sued if they don't deal with it.

 

[Amethyst]

Oh, I loved it. I think I was 16. I had very long, dark hair, so it was a compliment, although the boys were enough older than I was (probably ancient silverbacks of 19 or 20) that I was a little scared too.

Social awkwardness never bothered me a bit! In fact, excess social smoothness can be a warning flag, or so I believe. My radar was always "on" for any hint of meanness or sarcasm, though. Those are the flags of insecurity, and perhaps trouble.

As a historically (and current, but less so) socially awkward male, I kind of resent not being given proper training on how to interact with women.

So I dearly empathize with both Antony, and Cleopatra.

 

[Amethyst]

She's wearing a sign, but people are not allowed to read it out loud? That's just wrong.

Some people wear T-shirts with obscene slogans, just hoping [I suspect] that someone will read it out loud!

Just happened this morning.

Walking out of the Y, a young woman is coming in, wearing a black T shirt with large gold capital lettering "NAUGHTY". I read it aloud. She blushed and covered her chest with two hands to hide the word.

 

[poorcarver]

My personal favorite along these lines was when I was walking down the street and a young lady was walking toward me with a tee shirt showing a picture of Einstein in blue on the front and red on the back. I looked at it, looked at the back as she passed and burst out laughing. She stopped dead and said, I wish you would tell me what is so funny about my a**s. Try explaining Doppler shift to a science challenged, mad female. I tried for a minute and quit.

 

[Amethyst]

Or to almost anybody, come to think of it. Unless he/she is on this forum

Or designs T-shirts

Try explaining Doppler shift to a science challenged, mad female.

 

[pb4uski]

Well, it's my thread, so I can and will comment.

As a young woman, I was naturally interested in men, and being an analytical sort, I tried to figure them out. I wanted it all boiled down to a set of rules, or at least apothegms. I observed men and talked to other women, and sometimes to men, about them.

1) If a young man is not attracted to you, he ignores you. You might as well be 70 years old.

2) If a young man is attracted to you, he will size up his chances of getting with you. If he thinks he's got a chance, he will work to get your attention. Usually by being nice, sometimes by friendly teasing. * He wants to see if you have a sense of humor, but he does not want to embarrass you.

3) If he's attracted, but thinks he has no chance - that's when the dirty innuendos might come out, if he is that kind of fellow. It's a resentment thing. He wants you to know he is thinking about you in a sexual way, whether you like it or not. If he can get you to react with confusion or dismay, especially if there are others who see your reaction, so much the better.

Anyway, that's how I interpreted male behavior, way back when!

*Or by pulling up dramatically in his car at sight of you on the sidewalk, or turning cartwheels, or declaiming "Behold, I, Antony, see my Cleopatra approach!" all of which actually happened.

In my experience, way back when as a young man, my approach might vary widely depending on whether my time horizon for the relationship was decades or hours.

Though I have a good friend who dated a girl with an hours time horizon and somehow it turned into decades... stuff happens.

 

[O2Bfree]

A new female director started recently, obviously 7-8 months pregnant. Very distinctive body shape. But until someone specifically tells me she's pregnant, I'm not saying anything about it. Good thing, six months later she's still the same distinctive pregnant shape. That's just the shape she is. Not pregnant. Just shaped like it.

Yup, there's a lady in my office like that too. She is, I believe, probably too old to be pregnant, which likely deflects many queries from people who don't know her very well.