People saying funny (awkward) things

[Amethyst]

I was walking in the hallway at work when I heard my name called out, and turned around. There stood a former co-worker whom I have not seen in several years. What comes out of his mouth but, "Amethyst, I thought I recognized you from behind!"

This is not what we Older Ladies expect to hear, stated loudly, in public, after a long separation - that is, the utter distinctiveness of our derrieres and gait. Actually, Younger Ladies probably would be just as taken aback

Anyway, I just wondered if others have stories of awkward, though perhaps not ill-meant, comments, that stopped you in your tracks for a second.

 

[BrianB]

At Costco I ran into one of the guys I chat with in the locker room of our health club, but I didn't immediately acknowledge him.

What could I say other than "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!"

 

[Amethyst]

Yes, that's pretty universal among gym-goers.

At Costco I ran into one of the guys I chat with in the locker room of our health club, but I didn't immediately acknowledge him.

What could I say other than "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!"

 

[sheldon cornped]

I only did this once, but I received a call at home one time from someone wanting to speak to my wife. I said "one moment please, she's round in the rear".

 

[Winemaker]

I worked in management in underground coal mines for 35 years. Every one wears boots, jeans, work shirts, mine belt, hard hat and jacket with some reflective material, and works in an unlighted area 95% of the time.

I could pretty much tell who was who by their height, gait, how they wore their cap light on their heads and how it jiggled when they walked.

And they knew who I was because I was 6' 5" tall.

 

[Totoro]

One random person passing me in the street exclaiming he really likes my backpack.

I like it too, still ..

 

[marko]

I have a friend (no filter on his thoughts ever) We were visiting someone in the local hospital. A nurse walked in and he said: "Oh, I know you....you're so and so's daughter....I remember your mom got pregnant with you AFTER your dad had a vasectomy!!..."

The nurse was stunned, turned purple and then said: "WHATTTT!!!" She had no idea.

My idiot buddy then doubled down and said: "Oh yeah...everyone in town knows that..."

Awkward....

 

[calmloki]

When working as a non-dealership VW mechanic we knew people by their rides: silver Rabbit diesel, 1835 fastback, gray notch back... the drivers we didn't interact with much, so they got nicknames or not, depending on physical or personality characteristics. Had a customer come in to pick up his car and he had some questions for the mech who had worked on the car but the mech didn't know the customer's name. Customer started talking, but it wasn't clear what car was being discussed till he described his car. Quoth the mechanic: "Oh, YOU'RE sh*thead!".
Sometimes customer relations and mechanical skill aren't present in the same degree.

 

[latexman]

We have five children. The wife and I had one child, and we adopted four others. Of the four adopted children, two are white and two are black. One time, a young waitress in a restaurant asked us, "how did ya'll do that?".

 

[Amethyst]

Y'all are cracking me up!

 

[socca]

I was in the local cat shelter petting an obese cat. My back was to the corridor. A female voice from behind me said, "That's a nice cat." I didn't turn around but said to the cat, "You're a sweetie, but you really need to stop eating so much - you're fat!!"

You can guess how this ended - not pretty.

 

[mickeyd]

I read that Gen. Mad Dog Mattis said this :“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”


That actually makes sense.

 

[Meadbh]

I once attended the delivery of twins, a girl and a boy. The father asked me if they were identical.

 

[mystang52]

It was meant as a compliment, and in fact not all that bad: A short while back I had some local errands to do, so took my bicycle. At one store, the clerk commented on my bike clothes and said "I think it's great that you stay active at your age."

 

[Walt34]

When DW's sister had her first baby, her husband "Jim" and his best friend "Dave" were also at the hospital, this at a time well before husbands were normally allowed in the delivery room. After the delivery and his wife & new baby were in recovery Jim and Dave went to go visit, but were stopped at the door by a nurse who said that "Only husbands and fathers are allowed in there".

Jim quickly responded with "I'm the husband, he's the father". The nurse shook her head, threw up her hands and walked off.

 

[MRG]

I once attended the delivery of twins, a girl and a boy. The father asked me if they were identical.

Thanks that tickles me.

 

[marko]

One more: A bunch of us were setting up a trade show booth in California for our company one time.

One of the local laborers was a young guy helping us out and did a really good job. We had had food brought in and told him to help himself and later gave him a $100 tip for his efforts.

He left us with: "...You people are really nice people...considering you're from Boston and all...."

 

[ls99]

I was walking in the hallway at work when I heard my name called out, and turned around. There stood a former co-worker whom I have not seen in several years. What comes out of his mouth but, "Amethyst, I thought I recognized you from behind!"

This is not what we Older Ladies expect to hear, stated loudly, in public, after a long separation - that is, the utter distinctiveness of our derrieres and gait. Actually, Younger Ladies probably would be just as taken aback

Anyway, I just wondered if others have stories of awkward, though perhaps not ill-meant, comments, that stopped you in your tracks for a second.

I recognize all of the regular figure skaters, on the ice skating, or walking through the door by their shape (front or rear or profile) and gait, posture or skating style at the rink. Well before I see their faces. A few I have actually told, they seem amused.

 

[Chuckanut]

I was making airline reservations from LA to Hawaii. My friend asked me "Is it non stop?" I sure hope so.

 

[MRG]

I was walking in the hallway at work when I heard my name called out, and turned around. There stood a former co-worker whom I have not seen in several years. What comes out of his mouth but, "Amethyst, I thought I recognized you from behind!"

This is not what we Older Ladies expect to hear, stated loudly, in public, after a long separation - that is, the utter distinctiveness of our derrieres and gait. Actually, Younger Ladies probably would be just as taken aback

Anyway, I just wondered if others have stories of awkward, though perhaps not ill-meant, comments, that stopped you in your tracks for a second.

In my family DF was a bit of a goat, he'd earned it. My siblings and I get along, we're all a thousand miles apart.

A decade ago we were getting together, organized flights for one sister and I to meet in the airport and fly to the others home. Of course nothing ever comes together easily and I board without connecting with DS!

Later we connect she says "oh I saw you ahead of me, your back and gait look just like Dad's". Not a compliment.

 

[audreyh1]

I was making airline reservations from LA to Hawaii. My friend asked me "Is it non stop?" I sure hope so.

Well, quite a few flights from LA to Hawaii (the big island) make you change planes in Honolulu.......

 

[Amethyst]

I can dig it. I get a lot of "I Hope that When I'm Your Age" backa$$ compliments.

I had started to hear "you're such a inspiration" in my 40's. It's a sad fact that to a 20-year-old, a 45-year-old looks ancient. Fortunately, we become invisible to them after 50, or they'd probably mistake us for the Living Dead!

It was meant as a compliment, and in fact not all that bad: A short while back I had some local errands to do, so took my bicycle. At one store, the clerk commented on my bike clothes and said "I think it's great that you stay active at your age."

 

[Amethyst]

Hmmm...that's not quite as odd; figure skaters expect people to be studying their moves. Not so much cow-orkers.

(I was amused by the guy's comment. He's always had a bit of foot-in-mouth disease).

I recognize all of the regular figure skaters, on the ice skating, or walking through the door by their shape (front or rear or profile) and gait, posture or skating style at the rink. Well before I see their faces. A few I have actually told, they seem amused.

 

[Amethyst]

OMG...what was your response? (If you had one!)

One time, a young waitress in a restaurant asked us, "how did ya'll do that?".

 

[bbbamI]

This happened to my dad (he's 84)....

A few months ago while shopping, dad glanced up to see a lady he's known for decades. When she saw him, she blurted..."Oh my gawd...I thought you were dead!"

Without skipping a beat, he said "Boo"