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Old 01-06-2008, 08:04 PM   #81
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Yeah - but can she shoot pool and play pinochle?

heh heh heh -
Let's hope so because if she can't I will not be able to take her to any of the Honky Tonks in the GREAT STATE of Texas. The question is can she two step and do the Texas waltz?

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Old 01-06-2008, 08:15 PM   #82
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Wags and unclemick,
Pool - Pinochle - Texas Waltz - Honky Tonks?? At least I know she'll be safe with you!
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Old 01-06-2008, 08:51 PM   #83
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Wags and unclemick,
Pool - Pinochle - Texas Waltz - Honky Tonks?? At least I know she'll be safe with you!
Remember Bill Gates and Microsoft a while back - never write anything e mail/forum wise that your Mama or some other guy's er ah her lawyer might read.

Always try to drawn the line at Pssst - Wellesley and nod nod wink wink the rest - in case you have to weasel out of it(er reinterpret) later.



heh heh heh -
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Old 01-06-2008, 09:02 PM   #84
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Remember Bill Gates and Microsoft a while back - never write anything e mail/forum wise that your Mama or some other guy's er ah her lawyer might read.

Always try to drawn the line at Pssst - Wellesley and nod nod wink wink the rest - in case you have to weasel out of it(er reinterpret) later.



heh heh heh -
I got you! Game on!
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Old 01-06-2008, 09:07 PM   #85
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You [forum] guys are too much.. taking the piss and then some. Let's leave the bar-room/poolroom-type comments for what they are.


Leonardo, here's a lady of 47 (me):
This has got to be one of the worst times in your life. When I broke up with long-time boyfriends or they broke up with me it was hell. I can't tell you if it's right or wrong.. but first I was on your side, then the more I learned I became a little bit more on the lady's side (ALL ELSE BEING EQUAL).

Only you can decide whether a $200 shampoo is going to be an ongoing thing.. or whether this is HER EXTREME REACTION to a series of SEVERE existential blows:

1.) she is adopted, and the current situation makes that more painful and obvious than before. The ties to her adoptive parents have been violated by the recent discovery that even those have proved "illegitimate".
2.) she thought she would inherit something, but is now without even a small fraction of the significant financial cushion she expected. Her adoptive family has squandered what she thought she could have "counted on" (rightly or wrongly, but it is still another emotional shock).

I would imagine the $$$ shampoo is a balm to her self-esteem, given the circumstances. She "deserves" it (perhaps not unjustifiably.. even though she is going in the wrong direction "wasting" it on shampoo, to be sure).

Situations 1.) and 2.) alone are enough to make anyone unstable, man or woman. That you are leaving her is an ulterior blow. The relationship she thought was stable (with a man she cared for whose prospects were good for a stable career) is now slipping through her fingers.

I don't get that she is a "gold-digger" at all. EVERY woman (and every man) tries to suss out (understand) the financial viability of their spouse. If they say they don't, they are lying. This does not mean some particular sum, but a general attitude and at least hopes for solvency/financial independence.

If you REALLY find a cooperative attitude towards mutual finances completely lacking, you are probably wise to break it off. IF you see real love and a willingness to adapt to current real circumstances on her part, maybe you should reconsider.

The only word I'd like to put in on behalf of the girl is: if YOU had a family roller-coaster like hers.. and in addition you were broke--then rich--then broke again.. you MIgHt want to (ok, irrationally) splurge on some personal treats that boosted your self-esteem. Only you can tell us if this is an understandable reaction to her more recent situation or a long-term personal trend without an end in sight.

The sexual aspect will have its ups and downs, as will "dancing". (After 8 years a bit of the "bloom is off the rose", as we say.) It's up to both of you to accomodate that and/or work on it IF the situation calls for it. Most of sexual desire/forwardness/restraint has to to with psychological aspects of the relationship, not the superficial ("you're hot"/"I'm horny") ones. The same person profferring themselves with a different attitude or manner will get different results, in my experience. [But then I would have attributed the higher sex drive to the "dancer" of the couple, so what do I know?]

But then later.. when you wrote this:
Quote:
.. we are really different and we know this for some time. When I was breaking up with her yesterday she said to me "I know we're totally different, we always knew this, but despite this we've stayed together loving each other because we complete each other... so you're breaking up with me for a reason that always existed in our relationship?" I just didn't know what to say... I think she is 100% right.

... I guess I can see clearly what I want to do with my life: take some time to recover from this break-up, save money to retire early, study a lot to get this job fast, hang out with the few friends I have, enjoy the company of my aging parents and just have some leisure time reading, playing games, learning new things, etc. I'll not be actively searching for women, but if I fall in love again that will not be a bad thing.
.. I knew the situation was pretty clear and that you had decided to move on. The future you describe has no room for your past lover, and it seems to describe a different person than you have been with her.

Fine.

Leonardo, I think in more than one of your posts you have already referred to her as your "ex".. so that speaks volumes.

I do wish you both the best of luck and hope you find real happiness in the future. Take care and God bless you both.

Let whatever counsel you find here on the forum and elsewhere (for whatever it's worth) guide you well in the future, even if it does not shed light, for now, on the events of these days.
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Old 01-06-2008, 09:34 PM   #86
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You [forum] guys are too much.. taking the piss and then some. Let's leave the bar-room/poolroom-type comments for what they are.
ladelfina's right - I believe it was I that took the thread down the wrong road. My apologies to Leonardo who is obviously going through a very tough time.
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Old 01-06-2008, 09:51 PM   #87
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Leonardo-

I was 'torn apart' by the one I love a few year back...very diff situation...but same feelings.

I took these words from my mother to heart, and she was RIGHT. "If it's meant to be baby, she'll be back"

Six months later we BOTH knew we needed each other, and we've been together since.

This 6 month hiatus was a hiccup in an ongoing 8 yr relationship.

Time will tell, just let it happen.
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Old 01-06-2008, 09:53 PM   #88
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ladelfina's right - I believe it was I that took the thread down the wrong road. My apologies to Leonardo who is obviously going through a very tough time.
"Never apologize Mr CaHill - it's a sign of weakness." (John Wayne - She Wore a Yellow Ribbon).

29 years same girlfriend(we never married) - I managed his and hers 401k/trad IRA. Otherwise her she had her checkbook and I had my - we agreed who paid what bills. Frivolous mad money was hers to spend and she didn't ctiticize my tools, fishing tackle, guns etc. - she did laugh at my $175 German Feinwerkbau 127 pellet rifle. And I didn't criticize her antique furniture phase. Among other things.

Therefore - I stand on my - Pssst Wellesley - with a straight face/more or less.

I'm sure Leonardo will understand. Maybe?

heh heh heh -
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Old 01-06-2008, 11:11 PM   #89
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Leonardo,

Love is full of ups and downs and with that being said here is a song by the GREAT Morris Albert "Feelings". Hopefully this song will bring some comfort to your heart as I am sure many a poor devil has listened to this song as they hold on to a picture of the girl that got away or wrote them a dear john letter while they were serving overseas and then when they got home they found it that it was their best friend that done him wrong.



The song "Hey" by Julio Igelesias has helped me get over many a heartache. Please enjoy.


GOD BLESS
Wags
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Old 01-07-2008, 02:23 AM   #90
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You [forum] guys are too much.. taking the piss and then some. Let's leave the bar-room/poolroom-type comments for what they are.
Calumny! We're super-nice guys, super friendly, sensitive to everyone's needs.

Here's a liitle song to illustrate

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Old 01-07-2008, 09:02 AM   #91
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-I don't have the last word in our finances. I always said that we should save at least 10% of our regular salaries and she always said no, that we didn't have the money. However in 1 year her "fun money" went from $150/month to $400/month. Besides, can you guess how much my "fun money" was? $0/month. She spent nearly $700 with christimas presents FOR HERSELF. I spent $50 on a new pair of shoes to me and $50 with a present to her.
Wow, look what happens when I go away for two days.

My advice is simple:

RUN! SPRINT! FLEE!

Better yet, buy yourself an airplane and fly away as fast as your can.

I have been there, but made the mistake of marrying the little gold-digger. What she wants from you is what you can buy for her. That is your worth to her. It is no fun being used and then find out all she wants is what's in your wallet. When the wallet's empty, or she finds a better one, she'll be gone.

She may look at you and make promises and even believe them, but it sure sounds familiar.

RUN! SPRINT! FLEE!

Then:

Find a nice girl with a sensible wardrobe, zero debt, and who thinks that people who pay credit card interest rates are idiots. Then marry that one.
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Old 01-07-2008, 10:32 AM   #92
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"Never apologize Mr CaHill - it's a sign of weakness." (John Wayne - She Wore a Yellow Ribbon).

29 years same girlfriend(we never married) - I managed his and hers 401k/trad IRA. Otherwise her she had her checkbook and I had my - we agreed who paid what bills. Frivolous mad money was hers to spend and she didn't ctiticize my tools, fishing tackle, guns etc. - she did laugh at my $175 German Feinwerkbau 127 pellet rifle. And I didn't criticize her antique furniture phase. Among other things.

Therefore - I stand on my - Pssst Wellesley - with a straight face/more or less.

I'm sure Leonardo will understand. Maybe?

heh heh heh -
this is my kinda guy! Thats how we do (and will ALWAYS DO) our finances!
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Old 01-07-2008, 01:07 PM   #93
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Wow, look what happens when I go away for two days.

My advice is simple:

RUN! SPRINT! FLEE!

Better yet, buy yourself an airplane and fly away as fast as your can.

I have been there, but made the mistake of marrying the little gold-digger. What she wants from you is what you can buy for her. That is your worth to her. It is no fun being used and then find out all she wants is what's in your wallet. When the wallet's empty, or she finds a better one, she'll be gone.

She may look at you and make promises and even believe them, but it sure sounds familiar.

RUN! SPRINT! FLEE!

Then:

Find a nice girl with a sensible wardrobe, zero debt, and who thinks that people who pay credit card interest rates are idiots. Then marry that one.
You just might be right when you say RUN! SPRINT! FLEE!

Maybe he should take into consideration a line from a Hank Williams Jr. Song - Family Tradition -

"I have loved some ladies and I have loved Jim Beam and they both tried to kill me in 1973".

If not, let's hope that this poor devil does not end like the GREAT John Wayne Bobbitt who was disfigured by his wife Lorena Bobbit in 1993.

GOD BLESS
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:47 AM   #94
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ladelfina and others, thanks for the comments. I'm still feeling like ****, but a little better now. Time to move on.
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Old 01-11-2008, 01:14 PM   #95
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the GREAT John Wayne Bobbitt
GOD BLESS
Umm, the 'great' ?

You mean this guy:

John and Lorena Bobbitt - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Wags, you mean the guy that abused his wife, forced her to have an abortion against her will ( offending both the 'pro-choice' and 'pro-life' factions in one swipe ) and raped her?

I guess that helps explain your use of the term 'GREAT' preceding Al Gore - that's about the way he treats the environment, IMO.


-ERD50
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Old 01-11-2008, 01:44 PM   #96
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Umm, the 'great' ?

You mean this guy:

John and Lorena Bobbitt - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Wags, you mean the guy that abused his wife, forced her to have an abortion against her will ( offending both the 'pro-choice' and 'pro-life' factions in one swipe ) and raped her?

I guess that helps explain your use of the term 'GREAT' preceding Al Gore - that's about the way he treats the environment, IMO.
-ERD50
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Old 01-11-2008, 08:01 PM   #97
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Folks listen to the GREAT Boz Scaggs - Look What You've Done To Me.


I feel a lot of love in the air. Heh, Heh Heh

GOD BLESS
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Old 01-12-2008, 07:40 AM   #98
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Wow, look what happens when I go away for two days.

My advice is simple:

RUN! SPRINT! FLEE!

Better yet, buy yourself an airplane and fly away as fast as your can.

I have been there, but made the mistake of marrying the little gold-digger. What she wants from you is what you can buy for her. That is your worth to her. It is no fun being used and then find out all she wants is what's in your wallet. When the wallet's empty, or she finds a better one, she'll be gone.

She may look at you and make promises and even believe them, but it sure sounds familiar.

RUN! SPRINT! FLEE!

Then:

Find a nice girl with a sensible wardrobe, zero debt, and who thinks that people who pay credit card interest rates are idiots. Then marry that one.

She must be one fantastic looker here. I know its a sexist remark, but I know an awful lot of guys who are /were hypnotised by those nice round tatas.
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