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View Poll Results: Has aging/retirement made your more or less sociable?
I am more sociable, outgoing, friendly in general. 22 27.85%
I am less so... 22 27.85%
I am still pretty much the same. 35 44.30%
Voters: 79. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-24-2012, 08:40 PM   #21
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Less so and it's something I've worried about a bit recently.
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Old 06-24-2012, 08:46 PM   #22
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I have always been boring. Just ask my.......well ugh take my word for it.
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:03 PM   #23
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When I studied personality styles in grad school they told us that most people become more introverted as they age. Could be a normal process?
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:05 PM   #24
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Hhmmm, will be interesting to see next year when I ER. According to multiple tests/surveys, I am an Introvert who can appear to be very sociable & outgoing when the job requires it. Last Myers-Briggs I took, I fell squarely on the line between INTJ and ENTJ--just depends on the situation, the proctors told me.

Right now, being in a very visible position that is heavily people interactive, I get home on Fridays feeling emotionally drained. All I want to do is rent some movies, get a Papa Murphy's pizza (no endorsement intended), bolt the front door, and close the blinds until Monday! I am somewhat apprehensive about ER next Summer--will I become some sort of shut in or will I go out and become the "community organizer" since I no longer have the military social structure around me

Tune in next year, same Bat channel, same Bat time....
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:16 PM   #25
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Well I am INTJ and DH is firmly an E, but I make all our social arrangements. I think I create our social environments and then leave it up to him for the interactions.
I remember always having this vivid feeling right before some huge party that I'd really like to get everything set up, have the party food ready to go, and then sneak off before anyone arrived.

I seek out new experiences, but like all INTJ folks, the interactions make me tired.
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:39 PM   #26
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I'm the same. Or different. Or am I?

DH is extremely/pathologically extroverted so I let him continue to take that role when we're a couple. Otherwise it depends on the situation. But I continue to need time alone every day.
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:45 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
Well I am INTJ and DH is firmly an E, but I make all our social arrangements. I think I create our social environments and then leave it up to him for the interactions.
I remember always having this vivid feeling right before some huge party that I'd really like to get everything set up, have the party food ready to go, and then sneak off before anyone arrived.

I seek out new experiences, but like all INTJ folks, the interactions make me tired.

Wow! U nailed it--that's exactly what I'm like. Planners r us is me, but then I want to escape and be alone and let everyone enjoy my party arrangements! Too funny! Maybe I don't need a "social intervention" after all?? :-)
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Old 06-25-2012, 12:45 AM   #28
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I am somewhat apprehensive about ER next Summer--will I become some sort of shut in or will I go out and become the "community organizer" since I no longer have the military social structure around me
You'll probably wake up every morning with so much on your self-imposed "To Do" list that you'll find yourself resenting the interruptions...

You might be the "community organizer" in the sense that you're the only one home during weekdays. We stay off the streets in the morning until the thundering herd has evacuated the neighborhood for their offices, and then we try to be off the streets again when they're racing back home at the end of the day.
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Old 06-25-2012, 02:49 AM   #29
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Pretty much the same though now I take the time to genuinely smile and make small pleasant talk with people I routinely meet. In the past, would have just said "hi" and rushed off.
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Old 06-25-2012, 05:39 AM   #30
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Pretty much the same for two INTJs. One of the reasons I don't mind my current job is that it doesn't have a lot of demanding interactions.

For some reason I'm reminded of the heavy snowfall the year after I retired. It was well forecast so we stocked up on food and movies and except for getting the mail and newspaper we didn't leave the house for a week. That would have a lot of people climbing the walls but we liked it.
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Old 06-25-2012, 04:32 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by Parr0thead98

Right now, being in a very visible position that is heavily people interactive, I get home on Fridays feeling emotionally drained. All I want to do is rent some movies, get a Papa Murphy's pizza (no endorsement intended), bolt the front door, and close the blinds until Monday! I am somewhat apprehensive about ER next Summer--will I become some sort of shut in or will I go out and become the "community organizer" since I no longer have the military social structure around me

....
Like you I am a "mild Extrovert" just over the line into an E. My nonscientific theory is that we only have so much extrovert energy to expend, then when it's gone we go introvert to replenish. I have a busy "extroverted" consulting practice and I find that as my client base goes up I tend to want solitude in my free time. Even us extroverts have limits.

SIS
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Old 06-25-2012, 05:05 PM   #32
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I think our experience mimics Midpack and his wife's... I was always social/gregarious... but over the years, my husband has taken over that roll and I've found myself watching what I say, more.

He's also the one to instigate more social get togethers with friends... this is a big change for us.

But I have more friends. Made them a long time ago and they've lasted through the decades.
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Old 06-25-2012, 05:42 PM   #33
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I never gave this social interaction thing much thought before. According to the tests I've taken in the past I'm an "I", but so evenly balance in all four categories that the consultant was stunned. I would say it depends on what the trigger is whether I'm more or less gregarious now than I was twenty years ago.
If it's someone, or a group, I want to interact with, I'm much more outgoing than I used to be. But if it is someone, or a group, that I don't particularly enjoy being around, I pretty much just check out of the conversation. I suppose I've become more grummy DW wife schedules our gatherings, and she still carries the conversation. But that's because she has so much more to say than me. I prefer to ask questions and listen to the answer rather than to speak just to hear my voice. Or maybe I don't carry as strong of an opinion or position on issues.
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Old 06-25-2012, 06:39 PM   #34
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Midpack, just curious about your initial remark. Is this indeed INTJ-ville? I ask because I am relatively new to these forums, and I am a classic INTJ. I hadn't thought about it before, but perhaps why I'm drawn to this site.
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Old 06-25-2012, 07:34 PM   #35
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Midpack, just curious about your initial remark. Is this indeed INTJ-ville? I ask because I am relatively new to these forums, and I am a classic INTJ. I hadn't thought about it before, but perhaps why I'm drawn to this site.
There have been several threads on the subject, here's one with poll results Early Retirement & Financial Independence Community - View Poll Results. And if you search on INTJ poll you'll see several other threads. The link above resulted in INTJ 32%, ISTJ 29% and INTP 13%, so evidently we're heavily "I" types...
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Old 06-25-2012, 08:00 PM   #36
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Midpack, just curious about your initial remark. Is this indeed INTJ-ville? I ask because I am relatively new to these forums, and I am a classic INTJ. I hadn't thought about it before, but perhaps why I'm drawn to this site.
Is There a Retire Early Personality Type?
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Old 06-25-2012, 08:47 PM   #37
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Still an INTJ, but now being retired, have invested much more time and energy into being social. This social interaction is tiring and not always rewarding, especially trying to establish/maintain friendships that don't really give me much of what I want as well as organizing some Meetup groups.

I am honestly not sure if I seek out social outlets because I really want to or because everything I read says how important social ties are to physical and emotional health! It's quite weird being a gregarious introvert---I am interested in people (the psych major lives on) but find dealing with them pretty exhausting. I am amazed at people who want to socialize for hours nonstop! Two hours is pretty much my limit.

The one thing my j*b did provide me with was social contact (co-workers as well as working closely with people with disabilities). So I suppose in retirement I am trying to replace that as well as increase it since there is more time and somewhat more energy now. Still convinced that I would/will find socializing rewarding if I could just find the right people to do it with....
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Old 06-25-2012, 09:07 PM   #38
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Hope i become more social, but it has only been three weeks of retirement, so voted "Same".
The poll caught my eye because a fellow-retiree and a friend still w*rking met for lunch a couple weeks ago to plan a canoe trip. The other retiree directed several comments to me, such as Are you SURE you will go? When i asked her about this, she said something about seeing me dropping out of things with retirement. There is no way i want to do that. I plan to become busier and more social.
She may have insight i don't understand. I consider myself the most social of the three, but who knows?
Whatever, the canoe trip will be a blast! They always are.
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Old 06-26-2012, 03:02 AM   #39
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Still an INTJ, but now being retired, have invested much more time and energy into being social. This social interaction is tiring and not always rewarding, especially trying to establish/maintain friendships that don't really give me much of what I want as well as organizing some Meetup groups.

I am honestly not sure if I seek out social outlets because I really want to or because everything I read says how important social ties are to physical and emotional health! It's quite weird being a gregarious introvert---I am interested in people (the psych major lives on) but find dealing with them pretty exhausting. I am amazed at people who want to socialize for hours nonstop! Two hours is pretty much my limit.
I admire your efforts. I wish I am 10% like you. Your mention of 2 hours - I guess is per day? Well, for me - socialising 4 hours per week (that means 2 lunches/dinners) is ideal. Anymore is realy too exhausting. A day out golfing with new/current friends is different because there's very little small talk on the golf course. So, I guess it depends on what social event.
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Old 06-26-2012, 04:25 AM   #40
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On the road again this week, and each unit I visit (I have 48 of them) involves going out to dinner. Although I get to try local favorite joints, the forced socialization exhausts me. I've gotten pretty good at having a few staple topics to keep conversation going w/ the big 3 being football, weather, and who has the best BBQ (I'm orig from NC w/ pulled pork BBQ). Stopped by the store and picked up some red wine to enjoy in solitude in my room when I got back!
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