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View Poll Results: Marital Status
MenÖIíve never been married and donít plan to marry 18 10.11%
MenÖIíve been married and donít plan to marry again 12 6.74%
MenÖIím married now, but if I became single I donít plan to marry again 47 26.40%
MenÖIíve never been married but may marry someday 10 5.62%
MenÖIíve been married but may marry again someday 2 1.12%
MenÖIím married now, but if I became single I may marry again 26 14.61%
WomenÖIíve never been married and donít plan to marry 6 3.37%
WomenÖIíve been married and donít plan to marry again 18 10.11%
WomenÖIím married now, but if I became single I donít plan to marry again 25 14.04%
WomenÖIíve never been married but may marry someday 1 0.56%
WomenÖIíve been married but may marry again someday 7 3.93%
WomenÖIím married now, but if I became single I may marry again 6 3.37%
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:25 PM   #121
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It is like living in a loony bin full of people with half baked ideas more suitable to a 15 year old.
A lot of the attitudes you describe and object to are stereotypical northwest coast attitudes, though. Who would expect to move to Seattle or Portland and not be immersed in a culture that was "green"? Not to say that everyone there is "green" or a political activist, but that is an attitude that I would expect to encounter frequently in Seattle (in comparison with New Orleans, Pittsburg, or Newark, for example).

I do agree with you, though - - even if you moved away from the northwest, you might no longer encounter as many greenie political activists but you would encounter people with other ideas that you might not agree with either.

As the saying goes, "There is someone out there for everyone." Eventually you may find Ms Right. But even if you do, will you want to live with her? Maybe, maybe not. Frank and I both treasure our opportunities for solitude, as well as our opportunities to be together. It's nice to have that choice.
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:40 PM   #122
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I have to agree that it is difficult to break in a new person to your quirks . It took us a few years to come to a super smooth relationship . I do like living with my So . We dated for a year and a half before we moved in together and living together is a whole different thing than dating . It requires a lot more intimacy on a day to day basis but it offers rewards if it is the right person . I like the easy companionship ,the daily routines that are shared, having someone around when you are ill , a travel companion and the built in handyman but if something happened to him I would not date or look for another companion .
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:58 PM   #123
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Who would expect to move to Seattle or Portland and not be immersed in a culture that was "green"?
ME! I am still planning on a move to the PNW, and will probably end up bucking the status quo as much as possible. This whole "green" movement is a knee-jerk, feel-good, yuppie conspiracy to boost the sale of sprouts, Starbucks, and hybrid cars, IMO.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:02 PM   #124
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living together is a whole different thing than dating . It requires a lot more intimacy on a day to day basis but
According to dictionary.com, the definition of intimacy is:
Quote:
1.
the state of being intimate.
2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.

4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names.

5. an amorously familiar act; liberty.

6. sexual intercourse.

7. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room.

8. privacy, esp. as suitable to the telling of a secret: in the intimacy of his studio.
It doesn't say anything in there that is related to or demands living with one's partner. But then Frank and I know that first hand. So while your statement is probably very true for you and your SO, and you have every right to prefer your own living arrangements, it is not necessarily a good generalization IMO. Each to his or her own. Some couples live together and other, equally happy/intimate couples just don't and have every right to their own preferences as well.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:04 PM   #125
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ME! I am still planning on a move to the PNW, and will probably end up bucking the status quo as much as possible. This whole "green" movement is a knee-jerk, feel-good, yuppie conspiracy to boost the sale of sprouts, Starbucks, and hybrid cars, IMO.
But you LIKE bucking the status quo, you know you do!!! Many of us might prefer to expend our energy in other endeavors.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:07 PM   #126
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I enjoy these lifestyle threads. (Thanks bbbamI!) As people we know a lot about life from personal experience and direct observation. Whereas much of what we "know" about politics or economics or investing is nothing more than social attitudes blowing in the wind.

I think for many older people the biggest block to forming live-in relationships is that other people's attitudes annoy us, and ours them. Just reading personal ads is hilarious. What we really need is someone of the desired sex who is pleasant, self-supporting, presentable looking and who wants some involvement with us.

Instead, what do people advertise? How green they are. If I needed green I would buy a bag of spinach.

I have met plenty women that I enjoy immensely. But I couldn't bear to give up an iota of life-autonomy to any of them. Some won't go in a Wal*Mart. Not because they hate the ambiance, but because of "cruel labor practices". One woman lost her job and health insurance. She was worried about being able to buy her generic medicines which she said cost her like $30 each at the local druggist. So I told her she could get almost any generic at Wal-Mart for $4/mo or $10/3mos. "Oh, I couldn't deal at Wal-Mart." OK lady, be prepared to get sick. But not with me around.

Others boycott Starbucks, not because of the coffee but because of some supposed international labor or environmental atrocities. I wanted to take someone to some really good free jazz on a Sunday afternoon at a concept-trial coffee house run by Starbucks. Seattle is full of excellent coffee houses, and this one is up near the top, plus the free music. "Oh, I can't patronize Starbucks- can we do something else?" " No, nunca. Hasta la vista, bebť.

It is like living in a loony bin full of people with half baked ideas more suitable to a 15 year old.

All Adam and Eve had to do was to find their sexual complement. Now we have to match soap preferences, use or non-use of perfume or after-shave, or attitudes toward recyclables sorting.

Here are some demographics about household size and trends:

Seattle Prior Censuses: 1900 - 2000 Population & Housing Trends, Population Trends: Living Alone
One person households Opportunities for consumer goods companies > Euromonitor archive

You are in Seattle, right? LOTS of "green folks" hanging out there. Come to the MidWest, we like Starbucks and Walmart!!
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:14 PM   #127
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I have to agree that it is difficult to break in a new person to your quirks . It took us a few years to come to a super smooth relationship . I do like living with my So . We dated for a year and a half before we moved in together and living together is a whole different thing than dating . It requires a lot more intimacy on a day to day basis but it offers rewards if it is the right person . I like the easy companionship ,the daily routines that are shared, having someone around when you are ill , a travel companion and the built in handyman but if something happened to him I would not date or look for another companion .
It would be nice to have a companion/assistant; I can't imagine that anyone would put up with my weirdness.

Mother realized 50 years ago that I would 'end up alone'.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:16 PM   #128
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It would be nice to have a companion/assistant; I can't imagine that anyone would put up with my weirdness.
Well, you never know! I'm sure there is someone out there for you right now, who is probably thinking he would never find a compatible companion either.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:19 PM   #129
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But you LIKE bucking the status quo, you know you do!!! Many of us might prefer to expend our energy in other endeavors.
Sometimes, It's just hard to follow the flockers...
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:28 PM   #130
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A lot of the attitudes you describe and object to are stereotypical northwest coast attitudes, though. Who would expect to move to Seattle or Portland and not be immersed in a culture that was "green"?
Well, I've lived here almost 40 years, and I can tell you that the transformation has been large. From Jet City to weirdness capitol. Also, I live right at km 0, weirdness central, but much of the weirdness I rather enjoy. So I don't even move 1 mile away where it is less weird.

No way would I leave. Last night I went to jazz with two young couples that I met in different buildings where I lived. Mostly in the laundry rooms. I always enjoy being with these people, and although I assume they are poitically liberal that does not come into my relationships with them. I feel great affection for them, and that is what counts to all of us. Also, it blows my mind what incredibly talented musicians are playing for free, and compared to New York for example how nice everyone is.

Politics etc. only matter when one would be considering giving the other person some control-as when relations go from a la carte to today's special. I know no American who did not have to cede a fair amount of autonomy when s/he entered into a "committed relationship". What is a committed relationship, other than a pledge to do certain things only with the mate, to give her rights of first refusal on others, and perhaps to avoid certain possibly attractive activites altogether? (Because she does not like them, or approve of them.)


I am just commenting on what must be behind so many people choosing to be alone, whether they admit it or not.

I am not looking for Ms Right; I wouldn't want her if I bumped into her.

I do like freedom. If I get sick I hope friends and family will help out as I help them. Anyway, I am not living my life to minimize the discomfort of illness.

Ha
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:34 PM   #131
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Well, I've lived here almost 40 years, and I can tell you that the transformation has been large. From Jet City to weirdness capitol. Also, I live right at km 0, weirdness central, but much of the weirdness I rather enjoy. So I don't even move 1 mile away where it is less weird.
And absolutely none of that weirdness has rubbed off on you, right?
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:37 PM   #132
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And absolutely none of that weirdness has rubbed off on you, right?
OK, sure, most of it.
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:39 PM   #133
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I have heard that most of the weirdness in Washington and Oregon came by way of the transplants from California. Is that true?
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:40 PM   #134
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And absolutely none of that weirdness has rubbed off on you, right?
Maybe not, but I bet he's tried to rub up against some of it...
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:54 PM   #135
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I have heard that most of the weirdness in Washington and Oregon came by way of the transplants from California. Is that true?
I am not enough of a historian to know, but I think not. First of all, it really isn't Washington, it's more the city of Seattle, central Bellingham, Olympia and a few smaller enclaves. (San Juans, Conway, etc.)

Seattle's founding fathers were New England Puritans. Many of the early white settlers were Scandinavian. Norwegians mostly fishing, and Swedes mostly logging and farming.

Early on there was a strong and violent labor movement in Puget Sound. The Wobblies were prominant in the early 20th century.
Industrial Workers of the World - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I think Puget Sound has always been politically liberal. We are essentially a trading and exporting hub, looking out to Asia for our continued prosperity, and to the entire world given our software industry. Exporting and software are famously liberal industries.

I don't know where the green thing somes from. From my POV it misses the point. We have many things we should do to imprve the environment, but sorting tin cans is not very high on the list as I see it.

Ha
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:01 PM   #136
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Each to his or her own. Some couples live together and other, equally happy/intimate couples just don't and have every right to their own preferences as well.

Absolutely and I was not referring to your relationship I'm sure it's great . I was just using the term intimacy to mean you have to deal with the messy parts ( illness , bad moods , bathroom routines , snoring , etc.) rather than being able to escape to your own abode . So that probably was not the right word for what I was trying to get across .
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:22 PM   #137
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We do! I agree.

I often refer to Frank as My Dear Friend Frank but that doesn't really get the point across. That's the best I can come up with. Significant Other is indeed a mouthful and makes me want to ask, "Other what? Huh?" I could never figure that out. Boyfriend is indeed ridiculous at our ages and doesn't imply much commitment.
I'm in the same situation. We live together and most people that don't know us very well assume we're married. That's fine with me, but I need a better way to refer to him when talking to someone I don't know.

It's easy on the internet to refer to him as my SO. In person, I sometimes refer to him as my Other Half. Once people get to know me, they know his name and I just refer to him by name. And if it's a situation where I'll never see the other person again (like a repairman at the house, for example), I might refer to him as my husband. I figure they're not really that interested in whatever legal ties do or don't bind us.
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:31 PM   #138
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What we really need is someone of the desired sex who is pleasant, self-supporting, presentable looking and who wants some involvement with us.
I agree......
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Instead, what do people advertise? How green they are. If I needed green I would buy a bag of spinach.



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Old 06-11-2010, 04:07 PM   #139
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according to dictionary.com, the definition of intimacy is:

1. the state of being intimate.

2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with japan.

4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names.

5. an amorously familiar act; liberty.

6. sexual intercourse.

7. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room.

8. privacy, esp. As suitable to the telling of a secret: in the intimacy of his studio
Well...now that I really know the definition of intimacy I realize just how busy I've been.

I'm exhausted....
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Old 06-11-2010, 04:12 PM   #140
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Well...now that I really know the definition of intimacy I realize just how busy I've been.

I'm exhausted....
And don't you dare skip anything or the "intimacy police" will be out to get you! Just kidding.
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