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View Poll Results: Marital Status
Men…I’ve never been married and don’t plan to marry 18 10.11%
Men…I’ve been married and don’t plan to marry again 12 6.74%
Men…I’m married now, but if I became single I don’t plan to marry again 47 26.40%
Men…I’ve never been married but may marry someday 10 5.62%
Men…I’ve been married but may marry again someday 2 1.12%
Men…I’m married now, but if I became single I may marry again 26 14.61%
Women…I’ve never been married and don’t plan to marry 6 3.37%
Women…I’ve been married and don’t plan to marry again 18 10.11%
Women…I’m married now, but if I became single I don’t plan to marry again 25 14.04%
Women…I’ve never been married but may marry someday 1 0.56%
Women…I’ve been married but may marry again someday 7 3.93%
Women…I’m married now, but if I became single I may marry again 6 3.37%
Voters: 178. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-11-2010, 05:24 PM   #141
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...and compared to New York for example how nice everyone is.
Ha
HEY! I heard that!

There is such a thing as a nice Noo Yawker.
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Old 06-11-2010, 05:45 PM   #142
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HEY! I heard that!

There is such a thing as a nice Noo Yawker.
Quite true, FB. I spent some happy years in Manhattan, Queens and Nassau Co. and knew many fine people. A couple of my closest friends have since retired to FL, but I still consider them Noo Yawkers and remember those days fondly. I went to college in Manhattan and my son was born on Long Island. I like upstate, too. It is a beautiful place to live.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:01 PM   #143
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I've known many people over the years who lived together in the same home but drifted apart and were no longer intimate. I've also know people who lived in different dwellings but were super intimate.

Over all, I'd have to say there is a different level of intimancy in living together. Rolling over in the middle of the night and feeling that body next to yours every night. Sharing the same space and time and stuff. Lots of things.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:50 PM   #144
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A relationship with someone without intimacy is called........a roommate........
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This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
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Old 06-12-2010, 09:07 AM   #145
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Quoted from W2R's post...According to dictionary.com, the definition of intimacy is:
1. the state of being intimate.
2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.
4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names.
5. an amorously familiar act; liberty.
6. sexual intercourse.
7. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room.
8. privacy, esp. as suitable to the telling of a secret: in the intimacy of his studio.


Alex, I'll take #6 for $600.

And I'll pass on the group part of #2.


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Old 06-12-2010, 09:56 AM   #146
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I will have been married for 38 years come Oct. I am 57 yrs old. I can't imagine being married to anyone else. I would never say never, but it would be extremely dislikely. I only lived by myself for a very short time during my teens. I enjoy spending time by myself, but I can't imagine what it would be like to know that I would live by myself for the rest of my life. I think that my house would start to feel very empty. I would imagine with time that you would get used to it. I would hope that I would keep active and social and not become a hermit. I can't imagine the whole dating scene again. I am in the category of people that are glad that their spouse puts up with us and our peculiarities! I probably don't have to think about this too much, as DH's family genes are better than mine.
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Old 06-12-2010, 11:15 AM   #147
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Now we have to match soap preferences, use or non-use of perfume or after-shave, or attitudes toward recyclables sorting.
Call me cynical (you wouldn't be the first), but haha is touching on something that I have long thought is the core of the issue--namely that love and marriage in the abstract are wonderful things (maybe the most wonderful things of all), but modern, post-industrialized "life" is terrible soil in which to try to grow a healthy romatic relationship, or keep it alive. Everything from inferiority-inducing magazine covers to the silent desperation of the typical job works against healthy, stable, romantic relationships.

While I'm at it, I have another theory that I'd like to get input on: I think so many men need Viagra not because they have medical problems, or are stressed, or whatever they may claim, but simply because they are with women who don't excite them any more. I suspect half the men who need Viagra, if they somehow took up with a Victoria´s Secret model, might never need Viagra again.

BTW, I've never been married, never taken Viagra/Cialis/whatever, and never needed it.

What do you think?
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Old 06-12-2010, 12:54 PM   #148
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While I'm at it, I have another theory that I'd like to get input on: I think so many men need Viagra not because they have medical problems, or are stressed, or whatever they may claim, but simply because they are with women who don't excite them any more. I suspect half the men who need Viagra, if they somehow took up with a Victoria´s Secret model, might never need Viagra again.
I think lasting passion is not about a Victoria's Secret model (I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack on that statement) it's in part about the need to feel desired. IMO, passion is not about the outside package as we all change with time. Passion lives deep in the heart and soul.
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Old 06-12-2010, 01:36 PM   #149
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While I'm at it, I have another theory that I'd like to get input on: I think so many men need Viagra not because they have medical problems, or are stressed, or whatever they may claim, but simply because they are with women who don't excite them any more. I suspect half the men who need Viagra, if they somehow took up with a Victoria´s Secret model, might never need Viagra again.

BTW, I've never been married, never taken Viagra/Cialis/whatever, and never needed it.

What do you think?
My input is there is no better way to cause a man to be unaroused than to treat him badly. I see this too many times in couples I know casually.
A woman needs to treat a man with respect and vice-versa.
If there is a medical situation or medications like high BP pills are the culprit, by all means break out the little blue "footballs".
And have patience! We ain't 20 anymore.
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Old 06-12-2010, 02:29 PM   #150
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My input is there is no better way to cause a man to be unaroused than to treat him badly. I see this too many times in couples I know casually.
A woman needs to treat a man with respect and vice-versa.
If there is a medical situation or medications like high BP pills are the culprit, by all means break out the little blue "footballs".
And have patience! We ain't 20 anymore.
Good sexxx starts with a dirty in the mind!
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Old 06-12-2010, 08:44 PM   #151
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While I'm at it, I have another theory that I'd like to get input on: I think so many men need Viagra not because they have medical problems, or are stressed, or whatever they may claim, but simply because they are with women who don't excite them any more. I suspect half the men who need Viagra, if they somehow took up with a Victoria´s Secret model, might never need Viagra again.

BTW, I've never been married, never taken Viagra/Cialis/whatever, and never needed it.

What do you think?
The Victoria's Secret models are pretty and all but they're a little on the skinny side. A bit more meat on the bones wouldn't hurt them at all.

Thankfully, I haven't needed the viagra.

As freebird said, being treated with respect by one's spouse goes a long way. Feeling wanted is also a major factor. I try to do lots of little things for my DW during the course of a day. Nothing major, just little things, like if I'm going to the kitchen I'll pick up her plate along the way and put it in the dishwasher for her. Just little acts of kindness. Works for me in both directions.
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Old 06-13-2010, 07:08 AM   #152
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... if I'm going to the kitchen I'll pick up her plate along the way and put it in the dishwasher for her. Works for me in both directions.
You take a plate from the dishwasher and take it to her?
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:45 AM   #153
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Okay, yeah, I could of been a little more clear there. Acts of thoughtfulness by me tend to get noticed and rewarded and acts of thoughtfulness by her are definitely noticed, appreciated and rewarded as well. It's just another part of being attractive.
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:13 AM   #154
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Acts of thoughtfulness by me tend to get noticed and rewarded and acts of thoughtfulness by her are definitely noticed, appreciated and rewarded as well. It's just another part of being attractive.
I am really trying harder on this dimension too. Whether you hope a relationship lasts years or just months, it is worth trying to make it a real pleasure for your partner.

Ha
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Old 06-15-2010, 03:50 PM   #155
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I was married and living with from 76-97, then separated from 98-2003, divorced since then. Ex is remarried. I won't say never but I don't expect to marry again. I had a really good husband and No 2 would have to be even better.

In my case being married, and having a child, really made 'working on making the marriage work' happen (until it didn't ) .

I am financially independent. I don't want to do anything to mess with my security. I don't want children and many men my age (55) have children at home - sometimes quite young ones. I'm fine with being Grandma but not step-mom.

I have good friends, all happily married, and none of them understand why I am still single. What I don't say is how much I enjoy my own company and the stressless, tensionlessness it provides me. I believe that most really good marriages require both partners to work at keeping it that way and I think I've gotten more selfish over time.

And I almost forgot the biggie - my dogs. Anyone who gets involved with me has to be a willing pooper scooper and cool enough to walk with my standard poodles.

I voted 'been married not likely to again' but who knows ...

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Old 06-16-2010, 09:03 PM   #156
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I chose "Married, but if becoming single, do not plan to remarry", same as the largest percentage of men who voted.

Why would a middle-age person not be happy with a companion, and has to tie the knot legally? I think a marriage license is one way, not the only way of course, to prove one's love. Of course Liz Taylor kept changing her mind, but that's another story.

I guess it is possible to fall in love when one is in his or her 50s, or even 70s, but you've got to admit it is much less likely than when you are in your late teens or early 20s.

Talk about a love-struck middle age person reminds me of this song, Adoro, as sung by Laura Canoura (an Uruguay singer), who portrayed such a person in her presentation.




I don't know Spanish, but first ran across this tune in another language, and had to track it down to get the original lyrics. A few verses follow, with the Web automated translation.

Adoro la calle en que nos vimos,
la noche cuando nos conocimos.
Adoro las cosas que me dices,
nuestros momentos felices, los adoro, vida mía.

Adoro la forma en que sonríes
y el modo en que a veces me riñes.
Adoro la seda de tus manos,
los besos que nos damos, los adoro, vida mía.
...
Adoro el brillo de tus ojos,
lo dulce que hay en tus labios rojos.
Adoro la forma en que me besas
y hasta cuando me dejas yo te adoro, vida mía,
yo te adoro, vida mía.


I love the street where we met
the night when we first met.
I love the things I say,
our happy moments, the love, darling.

I love the way you smile
and how sometimes I scold.
I love the silk from your hands,
the kisses that we, the love, darling.
...
I love the brightness of your eyes,
how sweet it is in your red lips.
I love how you kiss me
and even when you leave me I adore you, my life,
I adore you, darling.

Any of the dancers here has danced to this popular Bolero tune?
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:33 PM   #157
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Any of the dancers here has danced to this popular Bolero tune?
I haven't....but it's not too late. Such a lovely song...
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Old 06-16-2010, 10:11 PM   #158
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So, you dance. I don't. Can never move my body to the beat, as described earlier in the "No Can Do" thread. Don't remember the steps either. Good thing DW also does not care about dancing.

PS. As a community service, I add this youtube video with lyrics for people who know Spanish.

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Old 06-16-2010, 10:22 PM   #159
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So, you dance. I don't. Can never move my body to the beat, as described earlier in the "No Can Do" thread. Don't remember the steps either. Good thing DW also does not care about dancing.
Yes I do....

Funny thing is, DH can't dance well but he's a very talented musician. I can't play a musical instrument but can dance to any rhythm easily.
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Old 06-16-2010, 11:21 PM   #160
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Talk about a love-struck middle age person reminds me of this song, Adoro, as sung by Laura Canoura (an Uruguay singer), who portrayed such a person in her presentation.

I don't know Spanish, but first ran across this tune in another language, and had to track it down to get the original lyrics. A few verses follow, with the Web automated translation.
Adoro la calle en que nos vimos,
la noche cuando nos conocimos.
Adoro las cosas que me dices,
nuestros momentos felices, los adoro, vida mía.

Adoro la forma en que sonríes
y el modo en que a veces me riñes.
Adoro la seda de tus manos,
los besos que nos damos, los adoro, vida mía.
...
Adoro el brillo de tus ojos,
lo dulce que hay en tus labios rojos.
Adoro la forma en que me besas
y hasta cuando me dejas yo te adoro, vida mía,
yo te adoro, vida mía.


I love the street where we met
the night when we first met.
I love the things I say,
our happy moments, the love, darling.

I love the way you smile
and how sometimes I scold.
I love the silk from your hands,
the kisses that we, the love, darling.
...
I love the brightness of your eyes,
how sweet it is in your red lips.
I love how you kiss me
and even when you leave me I adore you, my life,
I adore you, darling.
Any of the dancers here has danced to this popular Bolero tune?
I have never before heard this very beautiful rendition of a very beautiful song. Thank you for posting it! Her voice is lovely and sensual, her pronunciation is relaxed yet very clear, and she gets the rhythm. Her version has a rhythm close to bossa nova, and is very danceable and completely transporting. Tan suave! The other version you posted for the lyrics is bombastic and boring.

3.5 minutes on a dance floor with Laura's song should advance a relationship a month at least.

BTW, that web translation makes her sound like a horrible narcissist. Adoro las cosas que me dices should translate as I love the things you say to me. Similarly, que me riñes means how you scold me, not the other way around.

Similarly, a more poetic translation of los besos que nos damos would be the kisses that we share.

There are few things in life more rewarding of sharing than loving kisses.

I am going to get more of her music; I love it! She also moves very well. Check out her head and neck action at 50" That is the way to dance to this rhythm, with gentle isolations. This would also make a wonderful tango.

Ha
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