Pre-nups

[omni550]

Another poster mentioned raising the subject of a prenup early-on in dating to help find a financially compatible spouse.

Now, I'm curious, who's got a prenup? Who thought about/discussed one and decided against it.

Feel free to expound further.

omni

[Sarah in SC]

I suspect that the many posters who, like us, got married young with no assets to rub together, didn't consider these.
I only knew one of my contemporaries who had one, but he was in line to inherit part of a family business. Good thing he got it, as fast-forward 4 years she cheated and they split up.

[Bestwifeever]

I don't think there were pre-nups in 1972?

Pretty sure neither of our kids, both married, signed prenups either.

[jerome len]

Pre nups are critical for older couples that have children from previous marriages. Each person gets to keep and pass along what they had when they married, again, later in life. Otherwise, one of the partner's children could lose out when the 1st partner dies and the living partner gives everything to their kids, only.

this has happened two or three times to individuals close to me in the past couple of years. I have a pre-nup and my DW likes it because if defines what kids get, what she gets and this will avoid fights if I'm the 1st to pass. It's important that everyone realize that pre-nups just don't anticipate divorce, rather they define asset distriution in the event of death as well. And, as life situation changes, pre-nups can be updated as well. I am very, very, glad that we have one.......and, I have a great wife, great life and absolutely no intention of using it in a divorce.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by omni550 Another poster mentioned raising the subject of a prenup early-on in dating to help find a financially compatible spouse. Now, I'm curious, who's got a prenup? Who thought about/discussed one and decided against it.

When we married in 1986 I'd accumulated a net worth of $22K + a car, mainly by dint of being underwater seven months of the year.

By this point spouse and I had been dating for six years and shared a common background of USNA and military service. We'd even swapped cars because she was stationed in Europe, and mine would work better on leaded gas there than hers would.

A prenup never occurred to us. In fact if I'd brought it up it might have been a major buzz kill.

Our daughter, however, seems passionately in favor of the concept. It'll be interesting to see whether her attitude changes as she starts meeting more people who've managed to save more money.

[web_diva]

Didn't have much resources for 1st marriage so no pre-nup. Now remarrying, have some resources to protect so am getting one.

I have a friend who married in her mid-30s to a spouse 12 years older. Resources they each brought to the marriage were nearly identical so they didn't bother.

Different strokes for different folks

[MichaelB]

When we got married we couldn't afford a prenup.

[frank]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelB When we got married we couldn't afford a prenup.

+1

[eytonxav]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bestwifeever I don't think there were pre-nups in 1972? Pretty sure neither of our kids, both married, signed prenups either.

DW and I got married in 84, and I don't recall pre-nups back then, except maybe for movie stars.

[W2R]

When I married in 1975, my father suggested a pre-nup. I rejected the idea as "un-romantic" and pointed out that my net worth was only a couple of thousand dollars. I then proceeded without one, but they were not unknown at that time in Hawaii even among non-celebrities.

[Midpack]

Like others have said...we got married in 1980 when pre-nups were probably only a consideration for rich folks. At the time we didn't have anything but potential and we both came from middle class fams so nothing there either. And we always thought pre-nups sort of undermine marriage to begin with, 'til death do us part maybe/except/unless?', but I guess we're out of touch...

[Bestwifeever]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerome len Pre nups are critical for older couples that have children from previous marriages. Each person gets to keep and pass along what they had when they married, again, later in life. Otherwise, one of the partner's children could lose out when the 1st partner dies and the living partner gives everything to their kids, only. this has happened two or three times to individuals close to me in the past couple of years. I have a pre-nup and my DW likes it because if defines what kids get, what she gets and this will avoid fights if I'm the 1st to pass. It's important that everyone realize that pre-nups just don't anticipate divorce, rather they define asset distriution in the event of death as well. And, as life situation changes, pre-nups can be updated as well. I am very, very, glad that we have one.......and, I have a great wife, great life and absolutely no intention of using it in a divorce.

Wouldn't distribution of an estate be covered by a will or trust? Ours is.

[GrayHare]

I believe in some states a will that leaves less than 50% to the spouse is generally contested and often ruled invalid.