Pre School, is it worth it?

[pj.mask]

Lots of replies here that seem to think ‘if something worked for me - it should work for you’ and I think that is really shallow way of perceiving how individuals work.

Sending your kids to pre-K may be a benefit, neutral, or negative. After 20 years you might be able to judge your kids performance but it is doubtful you can attribute it to one aspect like daycare. But everyone seems to have an opinion on that correlation...

I can say our oldest is in pre-k and the cost differential between daycare (basically adult supervision) vs pre-k (structured learning) is minimal (10-15%). We find that cost difference well worth enrollment. You mention total cost but what is it in comparison to?

We did use the daycare last summer and noticed significant behavioral issues with many kids there (have heard of similar issues at other daycares with neighbors and friends). This started to bleed over to our kids behavior. I don’t know if they learn significantly more but the structure leads to more consistent behavior.

As to preschool vs home care, part of what I like is the school introduces them to things we would not. Sure I could talk math until the cows come home but probably wouldn’t devote a day here to talking about hermit crabs or a day there about pirates. Many on here suggest some type of socialization then you get back to cost difference. If one of us were stay at home we would probably do at home care with a few Mother’s Day outs. But since we both work - our choice was to pay a non-impactful amount more for a better environment for the kids.

[pacergal]

Both of our kids had various experiences from home with one of us, in home regular daycare outside our home, to preschool/daycare combined, then to before/after-care preschool attached to the local public school before starting KG. We did what we needed to do based on our work schedule, they did fine in all of them, and continued to do fine in school and college.
You have to do what is right and works for your family. That's all that matters, in my opinion.

[Jeffman52]

Everyone has an opinion and none of them are actually wrong. You do what you think it right for your children. I could get on either side of this debate and argue passionately about either side.

My own personal opinion is that kids will have Kindergarten plus 12 years of HS to learn how to be little robots that must learn to be still and follow a corporate learning program. Let them be kids for as long as possible.

[Aerides]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tb001 After having kids, it’s pretty easy to see how birth order (and timing between kids) impacts personality. The differences in child rearing experiences are pretty striking.

No, I get that, and that birth order impacts all kids in some way shape or form, and has been obvious since forever.

I never heard the birth order personality differences being referred to as a "syndrome" as if, like so many things, it's a problem to solve.

[socca]

A typical day in a preschool includes juice and cookies just before “quiet time”. If your son is truly senior executive material, by the end of his preschool year all of the other kids in his class will be dutifully handing over their cookies to your son. Given one cookie per kid and 19 other kids in his class, your son can expect gross daily cookie income of 20 cookies. However, your son will need to pay off his “enforcers” - the kids he employs to collect his debts (these enforcers have bright futures as corporate lawyers). Your son will also need to distribute cookies to key power brokers among the preschool staff (valuable life lesson: properly take care of the system, and the system will properly take care of you). So, your son can expect to net around 10 cookies per day, far more than he can reasonably expect to consume. Learning to deal with this excess is a valuable life lesson for any would-be senior executive: if you successfully manipulate the system to shower yourself with resources, what are you going to do with them? The end result of your son’s preschool year, if successful, will be the adoption of a belief that will guide all of his future actions as he claws his way to the top of the capitalist anthill: he who dies with the most cookies wins.

[joeea]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aerides Oh wow that's a thing now? I'm sure they have a name for everything, but oldest, youngest, middle child... I mean, aren't about a third of us "Oldest Child" (and were adults before it was even a thing?)

Everything is a syndrome these days.

[Brat]

Many of these comments make me smile. I recall a parent-teacher meeting with my daughter's first-grade teacher. I asked her how she was doing. The teacher replied, "I take care of the front of the class, she takes care of the back." Forward 40 years, she is a CFO. Executive talent in braids.

My kids attended a co-operative pre-school... good at teaching about getting along with others but not much more. Most of the kids were from the neighborhood so they developed life-long friendships.

[healthyandfun]

As a retired educator, I think the option of continuing in the home daycare plus attending a preschool a couple mornings or days a week is a good choice before the child enters kindergarten. Besides the socialization aspect, preschools expose children to classroom routines and activities involving a larger number of children than at daycare. Preschool classrooms are run more like a kindergarten and help prepare children for what will soon come. It is sometimes hard for children to adjust to twenty other children without some preparation beforehand. If you can afford it and the schedule fits, I would recommend the preschool. Weigh all the factors and make an informed decision that is best for your family.

Whatever you decide, I would recommend reading aloud daily with your child at home. Select a wide variety of books and make it a fun experience. Talk about what is happening in the book. Boys tend to like nonfiction so be sure and cater to the child’s interests. Revisit books frequently. Doing this daily creates a bond between parent and child with wonderful results. The best prepared kindergarteners should have 500 or so books read to them before they enter school.

Good luck!

[kgtest]

Thanks everyone for responding.

The affordability is about 2,000 to 3,000 in addition to the Daycare costs we pay where our provider does in-daycare services.

TBH, we can't really afford it, not without me reducing my 401k contributions.

Knowing that, what are your thoughts.

Would you skip the family vacation for your kids to go to pre-school, or just say screw it and wait for them to attend Kindergarten?

[pacergal]

What ever is most important to you and your family is the best for you.
Family vacations, time together and exploration is wonderful for kids.

If I were in your shoes, my child already attended in home daycare and got socialization there, and finances were such that "we couldn't really afford it", I would not do preschool.
How is your budget and retirement savings?

It is important to read books with your child daily, spend time listening to them and doing things together.
Time with my kids was most important to me.

[cathy63]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kgtest Thanks everyone for responding. The affordability is about 2,000 to 3,000 in addition to the Daycare costs we pay where our provider does in-daycare services. TBH, we can't really afford it, not without me reducing my 401k contributions. Knowing that, what are your thoughts. Would you skip the family vacation for your kids to go to pre-school, or just say screw it and wait for them to attend Kindergarten?

If I understand this thread correctly, you've got two children in the same daycare and a third child on the way. You could send the oldest to a part-time pre-school if you either reduced your 401K contributions or gave up the family vacation. And sending the oldest one to pre-school would also cause other disruptions in various family members' schedules due to the different drop-off locations and times.

There is value in having both kids at the same day care place for as long as possible. A year from now, you will have to figure out how to get 3 young children to at least two different places every day because your oldest will be going to K then and the little sis and infant will still be in daycare. There's no need to start dealing with that complexity and additional family stress before you have to.

So no, I don't think 9 months of pre-school is worth it right now. I know you want to give each of your kids the absolute best thing for them at every decision point, but the fact is you cannot do that. Your oldest kid will always have to make some compromises for the benefit and convenience of his parents and younger sibs, and vice versa. That's just how life works in a family. Losing out on an opportunity to attend pre-school is the first of many compromises he'll make for the rest of you. I'm sure the younger kids will occasionally miss out on their own opportunities later on in order to accommodate big bro's activities as well.

The one thing I can see that might work for now is to put both kids into a larger daycare facility with a preschool program and an infant room that can also take #3 when he/she is ready for daycare. That means that Little Sis has to move now, even though she might be doing well at the current daycare, so again ... compromises. If it costs more and prevents you from saving for retirement or their college educations, then not worth it.

[ugeauxgirl]

No, I wouldn't do it. Time with your kids is important. Vacation together is important. Not being strapped for cash is important. Saving for retirement is important. In the grand scheme of things, preschool loses.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kgtest Thanks everyone for responding. The affordability is about 2,000 to 3,000 in addition to the Daycare costs we pay where our provider does in-daycare services. TBH, we can't really afford it, not without me reducing my 401k contributions. Knowing that, what are your thoughts. Would you skip the family vacation for your kids to go to pre-school, or just say screw it and wait for them to attend Kindergarten?

[papaof2]

My wife's response, based on almost 30 years teaching 3 year olds in our church's preschool, would be a question: How are his social skills in a group his age or does he experience a group large enough to determine that?

While some of the kids who came to her got the "school" part at home, most did NOT have the opportunities for social interaction with a large number (more than their age) of children. When I was a kid, we basically played outside until dark so had lots of opportunities for social development. That's not likely these days and many people live very isolated lives - which also isolates their kids from other kids.

Check with the local churches for what they offer. Many only charge enough to break even because the preschool is part of their ministry. The preschool at our church (Southern Baptist) was popular with families from India because of the caring staff. YMMV.

[lsimpson33]

From an academic perspective, early childhood education is one of the best predictors of success later in life.

With that said, the caution with much of the research in the field is that parents who care about education are more likely to put their kiddos in Early Childhood.

It sounds like, if your daycare is truly doing a "preschool curriculum" it may not be worth the extra cost.

[Rianne]

I went to pre school and don't remember a single day. I remember many days of kindergarten, my kindergarten teacher, the classroom, my friends and their names, the way the room was set up, nap time, the playground. Some of the happiest childhood memories. Is that unusual?

[UnrealizedPotential]

Since you say there are no signs of learning disabilities or social awkwardness, I say pre school may not be necessary. I would be very concerned if there were signs of social awkwardness because if this were left untreated it can be devastating even later in life for the child as an Adult.

IMO , based on what you wrote, pre school isn't necessary for the child. But I recommend nothing nor am I trying to give any kind of advice, this is only my opinion.

[kgtest]

Not a bit of social awkwardness. He has been a part of large groups of kids at t ball and in Early Childhood ECFE. We did ECFE 1x a week Monday nights for 4 yeaes with him...and his sis is going now but he is too old.

He is not shy but when he wants to be outgoing he is. He just learned to ride without training wheels today. They grow up fast.

Our plan for this 'school year' is swimming lessons, dance lessons, and a day camp a few times this next summer. Kindergarten registration is in 4 months already. Who has time for pre school. I plan to help guide him 2 nights a week with some structured learning time. DW is on board as well. Not like we arent trying or involved. Supplement with trips to the 2 zoos we are memebers of the childrens museum, science museum, few ' field trips' and of course the library etc for some group activiites. I know our historical society puts on free kids events as well like stoey time with santa etc.

He is a super observant kid. He is into building...legos, Lincoln logs, puzzles, etc. I know home depot has some once a month activities for kids that we are gonna sign him up for as well. I think all this extra stuff will pay dividends later.

[winyaz]

Our kids went to pre-school but my wife was home with them. Seems to me that day-care with a "pre-school" curriculum as well as extra curricular activities as you suggest would be fine.

One thing that we did that our children valued (they are now young adults) was that we taught them to read at 4 years old. We used the book "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons", which I see is still available on Amazon. Not only did it give them a leg up in school it was fun for them as well as a point of pride.

[kgtest]

Quote:

Originally Posted by winyaz Our kids went to pre-school but my wife was home with them. Seems to me that day-care with a "pre-school" curriculum as well as extra curricular activities as you suggest would be fine. One thing that we did that our children valued (they are now young adults) was that we taught them to read at 4 years old. We used the book "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons", which I see is still available on Amazon. Not only did it give them a leg up in school it was fun for them as well as a point of pride.

Thank you for this. I ordered it! Hopefully we will get some good results. If anything it's a tool to stay on track. The pace kids learn at is insane. We are starting to do addition, I am going to begin working on subtraction as well. Possibly teach him currency etc he knows what a Penny is but he thinks that is more valuable than a dollar bill lol ahhh the journey is real.

Signed him up for Swimming lessons, and we are going to do some of those home depot Saturday building classes that are free. Of course tons of events in town to keep him stimulated around our multi million person city.

[pj.mask]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rianne I went to pre school and don't remember a single day. I remember many days of kindergarten, my kindergarten teacher, the classroom, my friends and their names, the way the room was set up, nap time, the playground. Some of the happiest childhood memories. Is that unusual?

I do have some distinct memories of preschool that I can still clearly picture the room. Did it impact my life? No clue.

Would I pay $2-3k more than childcare cost? No.

Our total all in cost for child care is about $3750/mo for 2 kids. I’m sure it varies some here and there. Strict supervision daycare would cost us maybe $500-750less/mo. For that upgrade cost I find it worthwhile (in terms of education and quality of the teachers/program).