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Oh, yeah, the Screaming Naked Lady:
Late December 1973, I've been on the road all of five months and hadn't been "cut loose" yet, they had a six-month field training program. On a 20-degree Sunday night midnight shift at about 2:00 AM we received a call for a "screaming naked lady" on a street that had a number of brick apartment buildings. We were about two blocks away and on the way I figured this was either a sex assault case or some drunken dowager. It was neither.
We turned the turned the corner and in the headlights was an astonishingly attractive young woman who wasn't quite naked. She was wearing a sock on one foot. She was apparently uninjured but generally incoherent except for repeatedly and loudly expressing her wish for, shall we say, "male companionship".
Apparently someone had accommodated her wish many times, as she was only attractive if you stood upwind. Naturally the senior officer grabs MY raincoat to put on her.
This being a Sunday night in that area there wasn't anything else going on so of course the entire shift showed up in short order. Her response to each officer's arrival was the same, her previously expressed wish. The Sgt. was about the last one to arrive. Since we couldn't get any useful information from her we had called for an ambulance and as she was being loaded into the ambulance she looked at the Sgt. and said "I don't want you".
It was months before people stopped saying that to him.
Strapped to a hospital bed behind a curtain in the ER, visitors and staff alike were sometimes startled to hear her yell "Will somebody please come back here and *uck me!"
At the hospital they decided she was having a bad acid trip and she was released the next day.
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Retired seven years ago at age 52. Then decided to get a job. For a while. Or maybe not. I'll think about it.
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