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Old 12-21-2015, 02:39 PM   #21
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Doesn't this circle back to the OP's original question: What is the *point* of a distanced relationship, where you are never even going to get to hug the person?
I'm guessing that where the distance in daunting that the men might just want to get acquainted and see where things lead... if it is someone who I really connect with then driving another 4 hours or getting on a plane might be a possibility compared to someone who is only mildly interesting.
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Old 12-21-2015, 03:24 PM   #22
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I'm don't know your age OP, but I would be very suspicious of a man who was claiming to be seeking a relationship with a female over 45.

I would assume he is looking for a sugar mama.


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Old 12-21-2015, 04:17 PM   #23
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There should be a pointer to this thread from Wikipedia, "Paranoia, what it is."

Why not spend a few months going to church, or if you have ever danced, taking a ballroom, swing, tango, whatever class? The idea of getting on an airplane to meet middle aged date possibilities seems bizarre to me. These people are not rare, just about anywhere.

Every church has coffee hour on Sundays after the service. And people who take dance classes are self chosen for being outgoing, physical, and interested in man-woman social activities.

It may be if one is interested in marriage that dance classes are sub optimal, since the attendees know that they can get out and meet people easily, so one has to wonder what is their interest in marriage. Among the middle aged attendees, most are divorced at least once, so they really don't necessarily put a lot of hope in the marriage is forever idea.

If i were this nervous about someone I might meet online, I would either try some of the above suggestions, or fly solo.

This is especially true if I had trouble understanding why someone might want to get to know me with emails, even though i imagined that dating might be unrealistic for geographical reasons. If a guy doesn't want to get married (common enough) and if he isn't solely interested in sex, I can without much effort think of many reasons why he might want to email.

After all, many of us do a fair amount of communicating on this site, and I would imagine that few of us are seeking marriage or sex partners here.

Ha
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Old 12-21-2015, 04:19 PM   #24
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I'm don't know your age OP, but I would be very suspicious of a man who was claiming to be seeking a relationship with a female over 45.

I would assume he is looking for a sugar mama.


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Does this mean us old retired guys are too old to play this game
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Old 12-21-2015, 05:09 PM   #25
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Does this mean us old retired guys are too old to play this game

Do you mean too old to look for a sugar mama? Course not!! 😉


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Old 12-21-2015, 05:18 PM   #26
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Do you mean too old to look for a sugar mama? Course not!! 😉


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Old 12-21-2015, 05:53 PM   #27
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I'm don't know your age OP, but I would be very suspicious of a man who was claiming to be seeking a relationship with a female over 45.

I would assume he is looking for a sugar mama.
Seriously?

I will be retired at 53 in spring...a 45 year old female is right in my ballpark. My worry is if she's looking for a sugar daddy.
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Old 12-21-2015, 06:41 PM   #28
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Internet Romance:

Sugar Mama meets Sugar Daddy on internet. Live happily ever after.

What's not to like?
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Old 12-21-2015, 06:52 PM   #29
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Internet Romance:

Sugar Mama meets Sugar Daddy on internet. Live happily ever after.

What's not to like?
Diabetes!
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Old 12-21-2015, 06:56 PM   #30
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Diabetes!
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Internet for over 60's
Old 12-21-2015, 06:56 PM   #31
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Internet for over 60's

I met my wife at an Internet Grief Recovery site. We both lost our spouses, and it was a place to share your feelings and experiences with loss.
One day, she asked where I lived, and it turned out we lived 40 miles apart.
I was very taken with her caring attitude toward others in the chat room, so I suggested we meet for lunch half way. One lunch led to another......
Our relationship moved very slowly from being friends, to being more than that, as we were still mourning our losses.
We were both in our 60's and never had any idea we would find anyone, especially her, since the odds were against a woman. There were many more widows out there than widowers.
We were married on the Island of Santorini, just the two of us, in 2007.
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Old 12-21-2015, 06:58 PM   #32
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Personally I found in the past the best thing was to meet folks in various situations, my internet dating never turned into even a short term relationship, just a bunch of lunches and coffees.

The nice thing about meeting folks in some general situation, is that they are there to learn/do something and are not putting on a "dating" face. There are less surprises.

I know someone who did use it and ended up married, and I know a fellow that was scammed out of a little $$$ and pride, by a "woman" in the U.S. who never could for some reason or other meet him, it was long distance.
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Old 12-21-2015, 09:22 PM   #33
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I met my wife at an Internet Grief Recovery site. We both lost our spouses, and it was a place to share your feelings and experiences with loss.
One day, she asked where I lived, and it turned out we lived 40 miles apart.
I was very taken with her caring attitude toward others in the chat room, so I suggested we meet for lunch half way. One lunch led to another......
Our relationship moved very slowly from being friends, to being more than that, as we were still mourning our losses.
We were both in our 60's and never had any idea we would find anyone, especially her, since the odds were against a woman. There were many more widows out there than widowers.
We were married on the Island of Santorini, just the two of us, in 2007.

Congratulations to both of you !
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Old 12-22-2015, 01:17 AM   #34
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OP...Interesting thread....many insightful suggestions!
In my opinion, it is better not to use internet or e mails for dating.
Meeting in-person is better.
There are sites viz: eharmony etc....but don't know much about them. OP my suggestion is that you be careful.
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Old 12-22-2015, 05:58 PM   #35
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Why not spend a few months going to church, or if you have ever danced, taking a ballroom, swing, tango, whatever class? The idea of getting on an airplane to meet middle aged date possibilities seems bizarre to me. These people are not rare, just about anywhere.
That's an excellent suggestion (at least for the guys! There seem to be always more ladies than guys wanting to dance).

Haha, do you still dance? How is it working with your new hip?
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Old 12-25-2015, 09:18 PM   #36
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If you are being followed, take 3 straight left turns. No one would ever make 3 straight left turns- one right turn would work just fine...
Not where I live. We have lots of one way streets that make this a routine maneuver.

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Old 12-26-2015, 11:15 PM   #37
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I'm guessing that where the distance in daunting that the men might just want to get acquainted and see where things lead... if it is someone who I really connect with then driving another 4 hours or getting on a plane might be a possibility compared to someone who is only mildly interesting.
This is probably part of it. Plus people are often just lonely and bored and like to have someone to talk to in a no pressure way. (Not that it couldn't be a scam.)

I recently met my boyfriend online. He lived over 2,000 km away. But we hit it off extremely well, and immediately, and had all sorts of pre-marriage type conversations before agreeing to meet (within a week of our first phone call) in his city. I flew up. We spent 3 days together. After a couple weeks we decided I'd move there permanently, and did so about 7 weeks after our very first online meeting. We're very happy.

But would I have flown to meet him, let alone moved, had we not seemed extremely compatible? - certainly not. But no harm in a bit of online chatting to see where things lead.
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:23 PM   #38
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This is probably part of it. Plus people are often just lonely and bored and like to have someone to talk to in a no pressure way. (Not that it couldn't be a scam.)

I recently met my boyfriend online. He lived over 2,000 km away. But we hit it off extremely well, and immediately, and had all sorts of pre-marriage type conversations before agreeing to meet (within a week of our first phone call) in his city. I flew up. We spent 3 days together. After a couple weeks we decided I'd move there permanently, and did so about 7 weeks after our very first online meeting. We're very happy.

But would I have flown to meet him, let alone moved, had we not seemed extremely compatible? - certainly not. But no harm in a bit of online chatting to see where things lead.
Wow....you have moved to Toronto?
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:39 PM   #39
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Wow....you have moved to Toronto?
From Winnipeg to Yellowknife. It's -35C plus wind right now (feels like -47C) but I don't have to work outside so it's fine. No regrets.
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:48 PM   #40
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From Winnipeg to Yellowknife. It's -35C plus wind right now (feels like -47C) but I don't have to work outside so it's fine. No regrets.

Wow. That's a challenging climate, even for a Winnipegger. I hope it works out for you.
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