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Old 12-10-2013, 01:22 PM   #21
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Thanks for the replies.
Without getting into a lot of details let's just say that we lost a lot of core family in a short period of time. Lot of depression, denial, anger, the usual phases of grief. But we should be pulling out of it by now. Problem is there is no one left locally but us. We have some friends scattered about but finding local friends isn't easy so we stay home a lot.
I have just gotten over my younger brother's death (whom I took care of every other weekend, making 350 mile trip from Bay Area to LA) and got my life back. While he was sick, my normal life stopped and I was under heavy stress. It took 3 months after his death to recover and I am back at enjoying life again. I sure hope you get over your past, make new friends, and move on (or return) to greener pasture.
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:28 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by sanfanciscotreat View Post
If you are playing golf more than two days a week working 60 hours/week plus 140 minutes commute per day (that is almost 72 hours/week total), you must be entertaining clients.
Nope. I don't mix work and golf. I take 1/2 vacation day during a week day to play a round (with shortened winter day time, it's getting tougher to get 18 holes in). Then, I play golf on both weekend days. The beauty of this routine is, my golfing partner is DW. But she needs to stop beating me. Otherwise, I will have to divorce her ... .

Back to OT, my point is, we should not let stuff get in our way of enjoying life. For most of us, 1/2 of our lives are already spent. We shouldn't be wasting the remainder.
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:43 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by LoneAspen View Post
I've posted before that at this point in my life, I couldn't care less about the journey anymore (meaning this job I'm at), I only care about the reward. And that's very true. If I could push a button and have the next year go by in an instant, I would. I'm in a mindset I just want to fast-forward, collect my "reward", quit, never look back, and get on with life.
I hear you. After 29 years in Silicon valley, my career has become a job. Now, I work to pad my retirement spending. Along the way, I've learned to detach my emotion from work and still do my job. It has helped me to cope with the aging process, mid-life crisis, or whatever is lurking out there to get me down. I hope you find ways to deal with your current situation and plan for a nice retirement life after the job.
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Old 12-11-2013, 12:48 PM   #24
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Damn ... this is depressing ... I am gonna put another log on the fire and take a nap.
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Old 12-11-2013, 01:52 PM   #25
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Working 60 hours a week, then having to do the weekend chores just takes it out of you. While it is normal for many people, it is no way to live. I know because that is what I used to do. If I dropped dead, they would send flowers to my funeral and then forget me. That is why I saved, invested, and then retired.
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Old 12-11-2013, 01:55 PM   #26
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Hard to know what is going on with OP or what would help him. When I read his responses I think he is having fun with us, it is so over the top. But who knows. In his situation I would sell the estate and home that appear to have become his oppressors, move to a city apartment in a good building and area, and loosen up a bit.

What he describes is anhedonia; it is often treated by therapists and psychiatrists, but that may not be his best route.

Anhedonia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Old 12-11-2013, 02:24 PM   #27
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Going to a 4-day workweek can do a lot to lift your spirits. Management eliminated that option as 4 ten-hour days, but I can work 1/2 day once a week. At least twice a month I burn some vacation hours to get the 5th day completely off.

By all means retire if you can, but don't overlook the other tactics which are available.
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Old 12-11-2013, 02:48 PM   #28
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Going to a 4-day workweek can do a lot to lift your spirits. Management eliminated that option as 4 ten-year days...
Man, I recall some of my work days seeming to drag on forever, but at least management didn't make it official...
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Old 12-11-2013, 03:14 PM   #29
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Man, I recall some of my work days seeming to drag on forever, but at least management didn't make it official...
A life-sentence!
LOL - corrected.
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Old 12-11-2013, 04:46 PM   #30
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Thanks for the replies.
Without getting into a lot of details let's just say that we lost a lot of core family in a short period of time. Lot of depression, denial, anger, the usual phases of grief. But we should be pulling out of it by now. Problem is there is no one left locally but us. We have some friends scattered about but finding local friends isn't easy so we stay home a lot.
The to-do list at home has also become overwhelming as we've gotten older, not the chores themselves but the time now needed to do them. We stay home to stay afloat, we can't seem to get ahead with only weekends to do them. I'm seriously thinking about asking for a 4 day work week for 2014, I took a lot of extra days this year and I've found with 3 day weekends I can get back to somewhat enjoying the place. Day or so to work, day or so to rest and enjoy the place.

Travel is something we used to enjoy but we've found it increasingly difficult to find resturants where we like the food. We don't eat fast food, nice resturants have nice prices, and usually the food is way-way to much for us to eat. We've gone back to many a room miserable after trying to consume all they bring you.

The above is what I'm saying, we don't even find joy in a nice meal out, we complain about the cost and quantity, and sometimes the food itself, where as we'll cook a full meal together at home over a bottle of wine and enjoy every second of it, then complain that we don't go out anymore.

We do take an 8 day vacation every year, and multiple 3-4 day weekends away. It's weird, in the spring we'll look forward to getting out and doing stuff, then we're mad at ourselves for indulging and letting the place get behind. We could downsize but ER would give us the time to do what we'd be downsizing for, we're right at the door looking through the window, either step inside or come back later.

I'm not trying to collect a reward, but I'm wondering if as we get closer to ER and getting older, the time spent working toward the day is more miserable because you know you're not there yet.
Grumpy much?

It seems to me that you have classic symptoms of burnout. You are clearly in a funk and looking at every half full glass as half empty. I suggest that you get yourself some counseling as soon as possible. Develop some strategies to put the fun back in your life. You have much to be thankful for.
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Old 12-11-2013, 06:48 PM   #31
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Learned long ago, not to give advice.
Can only iterate our own solution... to retire @ age 53 with what we had... with the idea we would go back if it didn't work out...
It's a decision that can't be advised, but decided by #1. FWIW, here's our own thinking:

Kind of depends on whether we are directed by what others think we should do, or what will make us happy.
If we needed a nice home and wanted the lifestyle our neighbor lived, then it was time to suck it up and keep on keeping on... no shame or second guesses. If we couldn't see a life without the money that we needed to support what pleased us, then we would have set a goal... planning our own nirvana.. then accepting the interim aggravation as "this too shall pass."

We took the chance... decided we could live on less, and found a balance between freedom and money... and never looked back. so far, so good. Took some planning, some sacrifice, but looking back over 24 years, wouldn't change the original decision.
A different time... a different world with different values of money, but our choice... and we stay very very happy.
About friends... much easier in a retirement community, where the shared goal is a happy life. As far as staying put, had to decide how important the "ties that bind" were.This is how we did it our way... YMMV.
Sharing 23 years of Frugal Retirement
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Old 12-11-2013, 07:02 PM   #32
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Grumpy much?

It seems to me that you have classic symptoms of burnout. You are clearly in a funk and looking at every half full glass as half empty. I suggest that you get yourself some counseling as soon as possible. Develop some strategies to put the fun back in your life. You have much to be thankful for.
I bet you could do "Dear Abby"... I bet you get that a lot...
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Old 12-11-2013, 07:13 PM   #33
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I bet you could do "Dear Abby"... I bet you get that a lot...
Actually no. I am a straight shooter and call a spade a spade. Some people don't want to hear that.
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Old 12-11-2013, 07:14 PM   #34
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Learned long ago, not to give advice.
Me, too. Especially, after my advice backfired on some . Mostly, in forum, I reply with my own experience (getting bigger every year).
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