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Reasons not to work
Old 07-30-2007, 06:31 PM   #1
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Reasons not to work

12 13 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

1. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

3. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

4. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

5. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet....

7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb.

8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

13. I ERd yesterday...

Part-Owner of Texas

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx

In dire need of: faster horses, younger woman, older whiskey, more money.
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:56 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post

13. I ERd yesterday...
Congrats! I'll give you my number one reason for not working. Because I don't have to!

Full time wuss............
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Old 07-30-2007, 07:37 PM   #3
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#14 I totally lost interest in anything to do with work .I'll call you if interest peaks.
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Old 07-30-2007, 07:52 PM   #4
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Very funny -- great way to post the good news!

Congrats - freedom rules
Freed at 49. You only live once - live it
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Old 07-30-2007, 08:01 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by mickeyd

13. I ERd yesterday...
Congratulations on joining the club!

Not that you need it, but here is one more reason:

"Boss Killed Employees After They Asked For Raise"
Numbers is hard.

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension

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Old 07-30-2007, 10:13 PM   #6
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Congrats ... welcome aboard. however you did it... YOU DESERVE IT!
Life is GREAT!
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Old 08-01-2007, 09:41 PM   #7
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I was going to list my reasons not to work, but the list was so long all that typing would be work. Then I realized, I don't work anymore. I'm retired!!!!

Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
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