Reflections after 2 weeks off

[dx]

With an excellent new job offer on the table for
a couple of months, I had the time to plan a nice
and relaxing transition period before hand in my
resignation next week.

Having been working for 15+ years, this is actually
the first time I did not "plan" a vacation with the family
because I wanted to experience what it feels like not
to have to do anything everyday. I took 2 weeks off
with the intention just to relax. It felt weird the first
couple of days, like I was doing something wrong, like
I should be doing something. By the middle of the
first week, I felt relaxed and at ease with myself. Then
I started to feel very energetic around the house. I
ended up doing a bunch of chores which I didn't think
I had the energy to tackle. It was a wondering feeling.

Now regarding the new job, I am quite excited about it.
I can't stand my current job, a situation caused purely by
a couple of malicious and totally self-centered ###holes.
To those who also hate their jobs -- you always have
the power to make a change for the better no matter
how bad a situation may look. You've got to believe in
yourself.

I had posted here before that my plan is to reach FI
in 7-8 years. Well, with my new gig, that should be
shortened significanly! Wish me luck!! Thank you.

dx

 

[haha]

Sounds excellent, Dx. Good luck to you!

Mikey

 

[Martha]

Having been working for 15+ years, this is actually
the first time I did not "plan" a vacation with the family
because I wanted to experience what it feels like not
to have to do anything everyday. I took 2 weeks off
with the intention just to relax. It felt weird the first
couple of days, like I was doing something wrong, like
I should be doing something. By the middle of the
first week, I felt relaxed and at ease with myself. Then
I started to feel very energetic around the house. I
ended up doing a bunch of chores which I didn't think
I had the energy to tackle. It was a wondering feeling.

I took off the first week in January and had the same experience. You should see how clean my closets are!

I am taking a month off starting the end of this week. One of my partners who is 63 years old told me how jealous he is of my part time schedule and upcoming vacation. We started trying to figure out when we last had a month or more away from work or school. He thought he hadn't had that kind of time off since he was nine years old. His family owned a resort and from 10 until he moved away from home he worked as a fishing guide.

I encourage him to retire or at least cut back. He professes to want to but never does. Right now I can't see any of my partners retiring early. And my board was worried about the slippery slope.

I am a little nervous about the long vacation. Will my clients like who they work with when I am gone better than me? Will my husband and I find we can't spend this much time together without biting each others heads off? All I can do is try, I guess at worst I will be fully retired, divorced, with half the assets. :-/

 

[haha]

I guess at worst I will be fully retired, divorced, with half the assets.  :-/

I know you are joking, but anyway if half the assets is enough the rest of it wouild probably be easy enough to adjust to.

I hope your trip is a lot of fun, you and your husband act like honeymooners, and your clients are waiting at your office door with flowers when you return.

Mikey

 

[andrea_a]

Will my clients like who they work with when I am gone better than me?  Will my husband and I find we can't spend this much time together without biting each others heads off?  :-/

I think this thought is on everyone who thinks of taking some time off or ERing. Is this insecurity...on the job? about the relationship? about yourself? Or is this just an excuse to keep working?

 

[Martha]

When I was managing partner of our firm I read a fair amount of research about lawyers and their personalities. Lawyers as a group oddly enough tend to be insecure.

I probably will be somewhat insecure about my job and my clients until the day I retire. Didn't someone here mention the imposter syndrome lately? I am also somewhat insecure about my marriage. We are both so very strong willed and I too easily lose my temper. I think the time off will be great, but I have to remember to let go of my control freak tendencies.

 

[BigMoneyJim]

dx, great post, and have fun!

Martha, I think a good thing for strong willed couples with time on their hands to remember is you don't have to spend all the time together. The rest of the problems are easier to deal with then, and sometimes they sovle themselves.

If it's your thing, spend a day or half day getting a massage, manicure and all that stuff while hubby entertains himself with his leisure activity of choice.

Also, if one or both thinks the time off is the time to catch up on household chores and projects...well I think that spells trouble, because any and all "control freak tendencies" tend to surface at those times.

 

[Bob_Smith]

We are both so very strong willed and I too easily lose my temper. I think the time off will be great, but I have to remember to let go of my control freak tendencies.

I wondered about this before I retired, but it turned out to be a non-issue. I tended to be just like you describe. I had a short fuse, type-A personality. But I changed entirely once I retired and stepped out of the competitive/survival mode. All those work-related worries that had me wound up just faded away.

 

[andrea_a]

dx, great post, and have fun!

If one or both thinks the time off is the time to catch up on household chores and projects...well I think that spells trouble.

This is me to a T.....ohoh!

 

[JOhn Galt]

Well, I could be the poster boy for "control freak/Type A"
people. And.............I also have a temper. But see, the thing is that I really like "me" just the way I am. A huge
advantage as long as you can function in society

Anyway, unlike Bob_Smith, all of these traits are still
there, perhaps a bit muted, but removal from the workplace didn't alter my genes nor 60 years of living.
See. it's important to know yourself. I know that I am
overbearing, arrogant and egomaniacal. It's okay with me.

Now a clever segue into a conversation I had about 2 hours ago.
Ran into a former neighbor (widow) who retired in 2002.
I would guess she is in her late 60s, so not an ER.
She is taking a course to get her real estate license
because she "wants something to do". I told her that
even with several favorite activities being gone now,
I still almost never get bored and have plenty to
occupy me every day. She opined that I was fortunate.
I guess I am.

JG

 

[Nords]

I am a little nervous about the long vacation.  Will my clients like who they work with when I am gone better than me?  Will my husband and I find we can't spend this much time together without biting each others heads off?

I would think that you'd be nervous about having to go back to work when the month is over!

Your clients should like your substitutes while you're gone because, after all, you trained them, right? As for the "better than you" part, you have more experience and wisdom. Besides if you must go back to work, no matter how much you're missed (or not) while you're gone, they'll like you best AFTER you get back with all that returning-to-work energy.

IMO you both should be ready for at least one head-bite per day during the adjustment period. After all, it's a new lifestyle and you probably haven't had to work through it before. It'll certainly provide plenty of opportunities for discussion but I think it's the best way to work through the process. Besides, as I've read several places, you could always set up separate offices at the ends of the house and meet in the middle for meals...

All I can do is try, I guess at worst I will be fully retired, divorced, with half the assets. :-/

Only half? You seem awfully humble for a lawyer!

 

[John Galt]

Hey Martha! Re. "divorced and retired with half the assets", it's a tough way to go but that is my story
exactly. Worked for me. I don't recommend it
though

JG