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Related to holiday giving
12-02-2012, 05:46 PM
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#1
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West Tx
Posts: 1,392
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Related to holiday giving
I wish I could find a way to reduce our gift list without hurting feelings. We enjoy and expect to get things for grandchildren, but we have friends, cousins and neighbors who always give us gifts and we feel we have to give back. For neighbors, I can bake something, but with the others, they send gifts in the $50 range. We would really like to stop, but don't know the best way. Suggestions?
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12-02-2012, 05:54 PM
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#2
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: North Scottsdale
Posts: 1,545
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For older siblings, cousins etc we do a relative name draw. That way you only have to get/give one gift.
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FIRE'D in July 2009 at 51...Never look back!
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12-02-2012, 06:03 PM
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#3
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,037
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Simply tell them you cannot afford it anymore.
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"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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12-02-2012, 06:11 PM
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#4
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,500
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Years ago I just stopped giving, explained my reasons for not wanting to exchange presents, and asked everyone not to send me presents. It helped that (at the time) I was poor. I emphasized that it wasn't just them, and everyone I knew was getting the same message from me about it. The only person I exchange presents with is my daughter. Most took it very well and some said they had wanted to do the same thing for a long time but were afraid to. Others send me a present occasionally but do not expect one in return.
Sure makes the Christmas season a lot less stressful for me.
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Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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12-02-2012, 06:13 PM
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#5
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,774
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I wish I could find a way to reduce our gift list without hurting feelings. We enjoy and expect to get things for grandchildren, but we have friends, cousins and neighbors who always give us gifts and we feel we have to give back. For neighbors, I can bake something, but with the others, they send gifts in the $50 range. We would really like to stop, but don't know the best way. Suggestions?
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It is probably too late to gracefully stop now for this year, but bring it up just after the first of the year. They might all feel the same way.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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12-02-2012, 07:01 PM
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#6
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 586
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Last year during Thanksgiving, my son's in-laws annouced that they do not need/want any gifts for Christmas. DW and I blurted the same thing. So we all decided that there will be no Christmas gift giving. For adult recipients only. The grandkids will still have their gifts. This last Thanksgiving, we reiterated the same policy.
We also have our friends that meet every Christmas. Last year, we decided to bring just one gift each and then each one draws one gift. We are following through this year.
We have a friend who sent us an e-mail that said the they do not want any gifts but also said that he already bought gifts for some people. I took that as a good hint and answered him that we also don't want any gifts.
I would say that these have cut down our Christmas gift budget.
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12-02-2012, 07:11 PM
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#7
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sarasota, FL & Vermont
Posts: 36,363
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We have winnowed down over the years as well. For my and DW's siblings we drew names years ago and just follow a progression (I had the second youngest last year and have the youngest this year and will have the oldest next year, second oldest the year after, et al).
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12-02-2012, 07:22 PM
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#8
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
We would really like to stop, but don't know the best way. Suggestions?
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The best way is to broach the subject before the holidays . I have been exchanging gifts with my sister even though we both need nothing . This year I asked her if instead of gifts we could meet half way( we live three hours apart ) for a nice early dinner . I think it will be so much nicer than token gifts.
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12-02-2012, 07:25 PM
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#9
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West Tx
Posts: 1,392
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Thank you! I like the idea of emphasizing that we don't need or want more gifts and letting people know in the new year. If we could keep giving to the children and grandchildren, it would cut the gifts in half. It would also cut the stress in half!
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12-02-2012, 08:11 PM
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#10
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Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,708
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We did this, and it was not easy. We just felt the gift giving had fallen into a routine and didn't make much sense. One year we sent a note to everyone - they all saw each other on the distribution list - that for that year, instead of gifts, we were donating our gift budget to the needy and asked them to do likewise. The following year we just asked for no gifts. It seems they had similar thoughts because the exchange of gifts fell pretty substantially after that. Since then, close family member gift giving has been limited to inviting each other out to dinner - something we were already doing. "Gifts" have now been limited to our kids and their kids.
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12-02-2012, 10:05 PM
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#11
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,296
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We told friends and relatives that for us (DH and I), Christmas was all year round as we were able to buy the things we need and want. In addition, we felt Christmas was a time for children, so the giving would not stop while they were young.
Everyone seemed happy and relieved. It worked out well.
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There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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12-03-2012, 04:35 AM
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#12
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,340
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We have had the similar experience. Everyone pretty much wanted to stop but until someone broaches the subject it continues more out of tradition inertia. When it does come everyone is relieved.
So now the gift-giving is for children only.
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When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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