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Old 11-27-2014, 10:04 AM   #21
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Yes.

Needs more sex.

Numbers is hard ...
Sex is hard.

You've read chapter 26 already. Are you a fast reader, or did you just skip to the sex parts?

But seriously, I've wondered whether I should have one more sex scene in there. Perhaps at the end.
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Old 11-27-2014, 10:09 AM   #22
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But seriously, I've wondered whether I should have one more sex scene in there. Perhaps at the end.
+1

As the symbolic climax of the book.
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Old 11-27-2014, 11:28 AM   #23
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+1

As the symbolic climax of the book.
I'll have to think about that. I wouldn't want to do anything prematurely.

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Old 12-13-2014, 08:49 PM   #24
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I enjoyed the story, thanks for the copy. Particularly liked that it was not predictable and kept options open for the reader to speculate through well past the first half of the book.

A couple things though, the sub story of Jakes meth dealing brother seemed incomplete. I expected that thread to matter to the whole story a bit more.

A continuity issue were chapter 34 has Marie in a shootout on the way to Portland, but chapter 36 starts with Marie watching (while last we heard their was only limited radio availability) with the rest of the town folk.


I agree with REWahoo - More sex, and pictures too.



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Old 12-14-2014, 10:09 AM   #25
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I'm working my way through it bit by bit (which is funny, because it's a total page-turner). Will PM you with some thoughts when I'm done.

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Old 12-14-2014, 07:03 PM   #26
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I enjoyed the story, thanks for the copy. Particularly liked that it was not predictable and kept options open for the reader to speculate through well past the first half of the book.

A couple things though, the sub story of Jakes meth dealing brother seemed incomplete. I expected that thread to matter to the whole story a bit more.

I agree with REWahoo - More sex, and pictures too.

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Okay, good feedback, thanks.

>A continuity issue were chapter 34 has Marie in a shootout ...

Oops. I'll have to fix that.

> More sex

Okay, I just thought of a good place to put it.

I just read a sex scene in Follet's The Man from St. Petersburg, in which the woman says "Bite them. Bite them hard. I want to feel them all evening," and I thought, "I can do better than that." There's something else that she says that's even sillier, but I can't repeat it here.
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Old 12-14-2014, 07:06 PM   #27
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I'm working my way through it bit by bit (which is funny, because it's a total page-turner). Will PM you with some thoughts when I'm done.

Amethyst
Good. I'd gotten a bit worried when not hearing from many beta readers, but I've realized I just haven't given people enough time to read.
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Old 12-14-2014, 07:51 PM   #28
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I will preview for you.
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Old 12-14-2014, 08:59 PM   #29
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Good. I'd gotten a bit worried when not hearing from many beta readers, but I've realized I just haven't given people enough time to read.
I've been thinking I should apologize. I've been really caught up in another book and haven't started yours yet. Hopefully I'll get there in time to be of some value.
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Old 12-15-2014, 07:06 AM   #30
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Thanks, Brett, I'll send you a PM. No problem, Harley.
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Old 12-16-2014, 08:50 AM   #31
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>More sex.

Just added a sex scene in chapter thirty-nine. Best scene of the book. I'll have to make the new .mobi file available to those who haven't gotten that far yet.

Thanks for prodding me to write that. It improves the book.
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Old 12-17-2014, 10:08 AM   #32
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Is Cronkite involved?
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Old 12-17-2014, 10:37 AM   #33
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Is Cronkite involved?
No, but actually, in a later scene ...
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Old 12-17-2014, 03:36 PM   #34
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I have a new version available, which includes the new sex scene.

I'm just going to put the link here. I'm not worried about someone pirating the book.

The chapters are the same, so you can just note where you left off, and continue in the new version.

http://pages.suddenlink.net/card/ContactUsPreview.mobi

By the way, my Drive, Ride, Repeat book is free today only:

http://amzn.com/B00J6HJIGU
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Old 12-21-2014, 09:43 AM   #35
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Sent my comments to you yesterday...or so I thought. Turns out I sent them to someone called T-Al Anyway, I found my error this morning and just sent you a PM.

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