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Retire 2013 Checking In
Old 04-23-2014, 03:09 PM   #1
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Retire 2013 Checking In

Dearest ER Forum members,

It's been a really long time that I have not visited our ER Forum. My best friend passed away 6 months after I ERd. We saw each other daily for 27 years. Shared countless meals and vacations and long meaningful discussions about life, philosophy, spirituality, . We meditated and did yoga together.

Our very old family dog also passed away after I ERd. I had hoped that in ER I could spend more time with her. Walking really slowly because she was really old and had weak legs! But only months after I ERd, she had liver failure and did not make it.

My friend and I had planned to do more fun things together after I ERd but we did not get around to doing any of it yet and there I was looking over my friend's newly dug grave. Life is so strange. Many things happen exactly as we planned while other things don't. I know that I am not making any sense. Just sharing random thoughts and feelings with you all. Like I wrote, I've not been in touch for so long. Grief does strange things to us.

I was so happy before that. Then after these losses, I became slightly confused and mildly depressed.

April 1 marks the one year anniversary of ER.

Financially everything is going just fine.

I miss our Forum and am ready to log back in and participate in our wonderful community again.

I have to go read so many threads now to catch myself up on what's been happening around here.

Have a great day All, Enjoy this lovely Spring weather.

Retire 2013
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Old 04-23-2014, 03:35 PM   #2
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Welcome back!

Sorry to hear about your friend and your dog. How's the Volt doing?

Showing off my superior memory
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Old 04-23-2014, 04:16 PM   #3
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The 2012 Volt which I bought in November of 2011 is still running great. I only have to buy gas every other month or so. It's still very quiet. I plan on keeping it for at least 10 more years.

Thank you for your condolences.
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Old 04-23-2014, 04:41 PM   #4
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Welcome back. Grief is a tough thing - and in this case you are not only grieving two major losses of longtime companions, but the loss of the ER dreams that you had for spending time with them. Be kind to yourself.
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Old 04-23-2014, 05:21 PM   #5
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I'm sorry for your losses. ER is a big change and to add those events on top of retiring has to be particularly stressful.

However, I am sure that your friend would be encouraging you to move on and enjoy your retirement and I hope you can start taking steps towards that end.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:16 PM   #6
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Welcome back. My sincere condolences on the loss of both your friend and your dog. Those two losses hitting you so soon after your much-anticipated retirement would be enough to make anyone feel confused and depressed. You had to let go of a lot of dreams in addition to losing two well-loved companions in your life.

Have you had an opportunity to do any of the volunteer work you had planned to do with homeless animals? In my experience finding a forever home for a foster/homeless animal is a tremendous lift to the spirit and brings great joy - to the foster pet parent, to the adoptive pet parents, and to the furball(s) involved. IF you still have an interest in doing this, you will know when you are ready. In the meantime, take good care of yourself on your healing journey.
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Old 04-24-2014, 08:06 AM   #7
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Losing a beloved friend and pet is tough enough, but shortly after undergoing a major life change (ER) makes it even tougher. So sorry for your loss, but glad to see your are back.
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Old 04-24-2014, 08:31 AM   #8
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So sorry for your losses... I have no great words of wisdom.
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Old 04-24-2014, 09:03 AM   #9
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So sorry to hear of the rough start to your retirement.

At some point the pain will lessen and you will be left with wonderful memories of your friend and your four legged friend.
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Old 04-24-2014, 10:53 AM   #10
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I'm so sorry for the loss you have experienced. Loss hits the heart hard and leaves it feeling rather empty.

But I'm sure your friend (and your pup) would want you to take advantage of each day.

Enjoy the sunshine and flowers.
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Old 04-24-2014, 11:57 AM   #11
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Thank you EVERYONE!!! for your condolences. Both my best friend and my dog had a great sense of humor. They were always enjoying walks and good food so I am sure that from Heaven they are looking down and wanting to see me enjoying my long awaited ER.

Yes, I did start volunteering with homeless dogs. I fostered 1 mixed breed, and 3 days in to the foster, I wrote a check to the rescue group to adopt him permanently. Fostering is "dangerous" business, isn't it? If I am not careful I will end up with a house full of dogs.

I am going to switch from fostering to just offering to take them to the vet, and cleaning their crates, etc. That way I won't grow too attached.

Good to be back with you ALL on this Forum.

Retire2013
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Old 04-24-2014, 01:48 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Retire2013 View Post
Thank you EVERYONE!!! for your condolences. Both my best friend and my dog had a great sense of humor. They were always enjoying walks and good food so I am sure that from Heaven they are looking down and wanting to see me enjoying my long awaited ER.

Yes, I did start volunteering with homeless dogs. I fostered 1 mixed breed, and 3 days in to the foster, I wrote a check to the rescue group to adopt him permanently. Fostering is "dangerous" business, isn't it? If I am not careful I will end up with a house full of dogs.

I am going to switch from fostering to just offering to take them to the vet, and cleaning their crates, etc. That way I won't grow too attached.

Good to be back with you ALL on this Forum.

Retire2013
Yes, fostering is "dangerous" - my last four cats (three of whom are still with me) entered my life as "fosters" - so it is possible to end up with a house full! However, I also found permanent homes for dozens of others, so it IS possible to let them go - you just have to have a box of Kleenex handy, and a rational friend to "talk you down" and remind you that you can't keep them all.
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Old 04-24-2014, 03:05 PM   #13
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God bless all of you who foster - whether that be people or our furry friends. I can't think of a higher calling.

Condolences on your twin losses, Retire2013. Just know that they were both better for having had you in their lives.
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Old 04-24-2014, 10:58 PM   #14
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Good for you getting a new dog and having a walk buddy. We have 3 rescue dogs right now and life would be so empty without them and the 2 cats.

You had a rough start to retirement with the grief of the loss you experienced. The good thing is you are bouncing back and can look to the future possibilities.
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:29 PM   #15
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I am so sorry to hear of your losses. What a rough start to retirement that you had and I can see why you were slightly depressed. I hope that time helps to heal and that your retirement is a happy one. I am sure that all of the animals that you are helping are grateful for your kindness.
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:51 PM   #16
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So sorry to hear of your losses. It has made me contemplate handling these types of losses in retirement vs. while in the workplace. Not sure I have come to any brilliant conclusions. On one hand not having to deal with these loses and try to function at work may be a blessing, however I imagine being retired we have more time to dwell on the losses.

Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-30-2014, 05:36 PM   #17
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Yes, the losses are still too new for me to know whether it is "easier" to handle in ER or while still working.

I know that my friend and my dog would both want to see me enjoy my much awaited ER. That's all we talked about, it seemed. I especially promised my dog much longer walks, and more time playing ball (she loved to play ball even in to the last month of her life with very arthritic legs).

I am spoiling the two dogs that I have now. They get multiple walks everyday. We even walk late at night since I don't have to get up early in the morning. We walk whenever we want to. I cook organic brown rice, wild caught salmon, and roasted vegetables for them (no seasoning, no salt), just a little olive oil. They are told that they are so handsome, and that they are very good "boys." So I think my dogs enjoy my ER very much.

I am not deliriously happy like I had anticipated. But I am pleased that ER happened for me as planned. I feel a contentment with life. With time, I'll be super happy again because that is my "baseline" personality.

I've watch a documentary on happiness and it states that according to many studies, after 6 months of a tragedy or a joyous event, our level of happiness or melancholy will return to what it was previously. So I should be really happy again shortly.

I love this Forum. Thank you EVERYONE for your comments and warm, loving words.
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