Retired Husband and Working Wife

[davemartin88]

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Originally Posted by Moemg My late husband retired before me and the only problem was I had to let go of some of my standards . He would do the laundry but not fold it and that would drive me crazy . He also did not cook but would get take out . I am now retired and my SO still works part time . When I retired he stopped cooking ( He used to do a third of the cooking ) and at first i tried to stall him out to see who would cook . Now I just accept that I am the cook except when I go on strike .

My DW can probably relate to your comments- I retired in October and don't do all the housework but do some of it now and I also cook most of the time. I enjoy the cooking but no interest in the housework so I don't dust/vacuum on a schedule, I dust/vacuum when I think it needs it (this means I can see the dust or hair from the dogs and when I'm done, it's noticeably better. Laundry is one area I was asked not to help with some years ago, I will do a load of my work clothes or towels but nothing that anyone has to wear in public, LOL.

For the OP, DW is still working and will for 2-3 more years, she works as a teaching assistant with special education kids- loves the work most of the time and always loves working with the kids. Takes a special kind of person to do this work. If she stays until she has 10 years, she can "retire" with virtually no pension but we'd be able to continue with group rate health insurance for the two of us, this would currently be about $940 for health, vision, and dental. This would get us through early retirement and insulate us from age related increases if we were not part of the group plan.

We're still working out the routine, I'm dabbling in a lot of things right now to make a few bucks to support my many hobbies and we do get comments from friends about me "not pulling my weight" (the previous 30 years of employment seems to be completely forgotten). We're also working on a plan to build a log house in West Virginia over the next few years to be ready when she no longer is working. Can't wait.

So far, it's working and I particularly like it, .

[Bimmerbill]

I'd love to be a stay at home dad. Rather bust my arse at home taking care of DD then at work. DW doesn't make any decent salary tho, so I'm stuck working.

My dad was 10 years older than my mother. He took an early out from a plastics manufacturer when he was 55. They moved from NH to SC, my mom took a county job at the local high school. After 10 years she was vested in health care. She just turned 65 so uses Medicare as primary, but had hter county insturance for quite a few years.

Dad died at 69 from thyroid cancer, poor guy. Was still very healthy and active, walked all the time, puttered aound the yard, etc. At least he got some retirement time!

[Khan]

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Originally Posted by haha I guess you may be joking. I wonder where in the US could a man with an English speaking wife get away with this sort of attitude? For OP's DH's sake, perhaps he may want to delay his retirement. Ha

Fella lived with me for a couple years. We established house rules up front.
I did laundry, he did house cleaning, we shared cooking and yard work and errands.

[freebird5825]

Simple formula - both work, both do household chores. The load splitting details are half the fun of negotiating. It's called TEAMW*RK. Very good stuff for a marriage or partnership.
Conversely, if 1 still works, the household engineer (retired spouse) picks up on the bulk of the household chores because time is now aplenty for the retiree. Of course, the retiree is free to hire a housecleaner if it's within the budget or medically necessary.
The only chores I do not do while dh2b is at work full time are those which I can no longer do because of injury to my hands. So I pick up the slack on other things, like doing ALL the laundry and cooking in exchange for him working on the cars and any heavy yard work. He hates laundry. I can't run the chainsaw anymore. I miss that.

[Nords]

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Originally Posted by later My husband will retire in 2 years and I will work for an additional 8 years. Has anyone had this experience? Does anyone have any advice?:confused:

Put dinner in the crock pot before you head out to the beach.

Whoever owns more crap gets to dust it.

Whoever creates the laundry gets to wash it.

Whoever observes that the dishwasher could be loaded more efficiently is in charge of it in perpetuity. (OK, OK, I was a marriage rookie at the time.)

Roomba & Scooba.

Whoever's tired of cutting grass needs to look into El Toro zoysia or xeriscaping.

Spouse has declined to enter into a gross-out competition, so we split the rest of it. I get the mail and do the finances. She cleans the bunny's litter box, I'm on 24/7 exterminator & toilet duty.

[Moemg]

My SO is stuck in the 60's so we do traditional jobs . I cook ,clean and do the laundry . He does repairs , yard work ,garbage ,car maintenance and any updates I dream up . Since I'd rather not deal with those things it is fine with me . He also organizes the dishwasher when I'm not looking .I'm not sure why so I just ignore it .

[FinanceDude]

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Originally Posted by Khan ? Will you take your shirt off to wash dishes?

If it pleases you, then yes..........

[FinanceDude]

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Originally Posted by Purron Well, I for one, would love to see you in a French maid outfit

[FinanceDude]

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Originally Posted by bbbamI How about an American "made" outfit?

Nothing says "I love you" like a man doing dishes in the nude.......

[FinanceDude]

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Originally Posted by haha I love this. Most men and women won't admit to these little games. When we were both young, my ex would sometimes try to stall me out on sex, to get me to do some chore or other. She hated that she would usually cave first because she had a more driving need than I.Ha

Other than the last sentence, I suppose that is the definition of marriage for millions of men.........

[haha]

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Originally Posted by FinanceDude Other than the last sentence, I suppose that is the definition of marriage for millions of men.........

Believe me when I say I understood how extremely fortunate I was. No matter what other crap she dished out I never would have left.

Ha

[FinanceDude]

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Originally Posted by haha Believe me when I say I understood how extremely fortunate I was. No matter what other crap she dished out I never would have left. Ha

Sounds like your divorce was a nightmare, sorry, ha.........

One of my friend's wife walked out on him a couple years ago. Her one reason was that although they were doing well, she was not happy for him to "be content being in middle management"............