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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-26-2005, 08:09 PM   #21
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Re: Retired With Kids

Al,
That letter is priceless. Save it to show her when she has teen age daughters and complains about them

It sounds just like lots of lectures that have come from my mouth, said to my teenage boys. Let's just say, life will be more simple when they move out. I think the first is going in September and the second in January. Hey, where the finger crossed smily when you need it.
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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-26-2005, 09:01 PM   #22
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Re: Retired With Kids

Quote:
Originally Posted by KB
Al,
That letter is priceless.* Save it to show her when she has teen age daughters and complains about them* *

It sounds just like lots of lectures that have come from my mouth, said to my teenage boys.* Let's just say, life will be more simple when they move out.* I think the first is going in September and the second in January.* * Hey, where the finger crossed smily when you need it.
KB: Make sure that you have both rooms converted to something other than bedrooms in Jan.

Or, like we did, that is effective also. Move 600 miles away.
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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-26-2005, 09:39 PM   #23
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Re: Retired With Kids

Al,

Congrats on your daughter. She can write pretty well. No spelling or grammar mistakes (that I caught). Most kids (even college bound kids) that just graduated from high school have bad spelling and grammar and choose words poorly. Looks like you did something right on gettin her educated.

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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-27-2005, 09:38 AM   #24
 
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Re: Retired With Kids

Quote:
Save it to show her when she has teen age daughters
Right. Here's something we saved that she wrote when she was about 5:

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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-27-2005, 10:13 AM   #25
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Re: Retired With Kids

That letter is too cute.

I have a box for each boy. I've kept all sorts of stuff from birth on. Lots of cute letters and school papers, cub scout and boy scout stuff and the ceramics they made me as little kids. I plan on giving the boxes to them later in life, after they have kids.

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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-27-2005, 03:56 PM   #26
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Re: Retired With Kids

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Originally Posted by farmerEd
Yes, it was always my "dream" to homeschool the kids, and live an exotic life with the kids (i.e. grow up in a variety of faraway places). I even told my wife I'd buy her a nice beach-front house in the carribean if she would agree...she hasn't so far. I may have to take on the schooling myself and see how that goes...of course then we'd might need to give up the farm....we are going to give it a try this year with my son (who is going into a 2nd grade class with an AWFUL, NASTY antique of a teacher..so we'll keep him home. If it goes well or better we may keep the other two out of the system too.


Not to hijack the thread...but anyone have opinions on living that kind of life with small kids? To me it seems the kids would grow up with a different (better?) world view, would have memories to last a lifetime, we'd have fun doing etc etc...but my wife feels a permanent "home" with regular routine, etc is the safer route...(to me thats the boring route.. )..
Interesting. I think stability is important for kids, but I am not at all convinced that it has anything to do with having a permanent physical home. I think stability has a lot more to do with the love and connections provided by the parents. Anyway, this is very timely as my husband just recently met a young woman who grew up all over the world because her parents worked for USAID. Most of her formative years were spent in very backwards 3rd world countries and they moved constantly. When he asked her about it, she said without hesitation that she absolutely loved growing up that way and felt like it gave her a real leg up in the world.

Certainly lots of military brats and state department kids move frequently, and spend lots of time overseas, and mostly turn out ok. It's a little different than going on your own I think because the institution itself is a form of community that provides some "stability" and "routine", but its not the same as growing up in the same town all of your life either. BTW, I did spend my entire youth in one town with lots of boring routine, and I absolutely hated it. If you are a misfit of any kind, a bit adventurous, and even slightly intellectual - then that kind of lifestyle can be a stifling nightmare. Just another perspective...
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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-27-2005, 04:33 PM   #27
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Re: Retired With Kids

>>BTW, I did spend my entire youth in one town with lots of boring routine, and I absolutely hated it.* If you are a misfit of any kind, a bit adventurous, and even slightly intellectual - then that kind of lifestyle can be a stifling nightmare.* Just another perspective...

Me too...and looking back I would have *loved* to opportunity to live like the girl you mentioned, an international traveler experencing other cultures etc...even for just a while...well I am convinced...that makes 50% of the adults in the house completely in favor of it....
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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 07-27-2005, 11:38 PM   #28
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Re: Retired With Kids

Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl


Right. Here's something we saved that she wrote when she was about 5:

Looks like her writing abilities have doubled. Maybe tripled in the last 12 years. That letter (the 5 year old one) looks more like it was written by an average high school graduate.

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Re: Retired With Kid... & loving it.
Old 07-28-2005, 10:20 AM   #29
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Re: Retired With Kid... & loving it.

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Originally Posted by TromboneAl
You're gonna love this.
Looks like she's gonna launch OK, Al. Of course your parental response was to make her wax them both, too, right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by yakers
I know a few folks have kids and ERd. As long as you have an adequate income stream, is there any disadvantage?
The biggest challenge is getting those little buggers to work a double shift for the overtime. You'll hear a lot of whining about child labor laws, too.

Seriously, though, kids in ER are no more trouble than at any other stage of your life. But it's much better to worry about money than to worry about juggling work & kids. Your parental time is worth far more than any amount of money and the income stream only needs to be a trickle. ("Wants" are the kid's own darn problem.) I wonder if kids are a powerful motivator for achieving FI, because otherwise work might just be the most fascinating thing in your life.

Before I start my story, I'll remind everyone that Jarhead had to deal with this situation a couple decades ago and he put a lot of thought into how his kids perceived it. Later his adult daughter told him that she was so busy coping with her teenage years that she didn't really notice what her parents did during ER. So we're not as important as we think and we certainly can't expect gratitude for our hard ER work at raising kids.

Our kid was born during my staff tour. We had romantic fantasies of backpacking her across the Pacific (as two friends did with their little angels) but that "plan" didn't survive its first diaper change.

Our kid is "always on". Dr. Sears describes it as "your fussy baby & high-needs child." Routine sleeping through the night didn't happen until well into first grade, and the first four years consisted of several nightly naps of 2-3 hours interspersed with more wakeups than I ever had on sea duty. We barely got through the minimum cyclic routine of chronic fatigue (I pulled down pneumonia-- twice) and today I'm still baffled at how we did it. Not that we can remember most of it.

Once while my spouse was at sea I got the dreaded watch officer's midnight phone call. It became necessary for me to go into work and write message traffic. This is a really bad time to call your backup daycare provider so I loaded our little bundle of joy into the car and signed her into my classified workspace (we debriefed her later). The crisis persisted through the night (I'm referring to the troubled submarine & the message traffic) so we spent it on the floor of our somewhat spartan amenities. (Hey, at least I'd brought along her crib mattress!) At 6:30 AM I was coming out of the building with all crises resolved and a bright-eyed baby in my arms to encounter my arriving boss who was somewhat miffed at my appearance. That was when I discovered that I didn't really have a family-friendly career and something was gonna have to give. Making the right choice took another nine years.

I thoroughly enjoyed Career Days at my kid's elementary school wearing my uniform, but it's even more enjoyable discussing life with the middle school gang camped in our familyroom. ER means being there for your kid without being exhausted, without having a buzzing head from the workday, and without having to make choices that you really shouldn't be forced into. As she approaches the teen years I can't imagine doing it like I did a decade ago.

She used to tell people that "My parents retired from the Navy to raise me." (Her teachers agree with that.) Now she understands that we paid our dues and we worked hard for financial independence. She tells people that we have the time to do whatever we're interested in-- last year I won the middle school's adult "accelerated reader" contest.

Homeschooling is good. IMO it exists for parents & kids who can't handle school for whatever reason. Some parents object to the teachers, other kids aren't ready for the environment. (If you think it's just right-wing Christian fundamentalists then you're sadly out of touch.) We seriously considered it because we worried that SCHOOL wasn't ready for our kid. Personally I think that our kid's greatest life lessons have come from the negative examples of her crappiest teachers, and today she clearly understands the meaning of being responsible for her own learning. I've seen kids who'd thrive in any learning environment and others who are still looking for theirs. Your homeschool decision will be the right one for your family whether you hire a tutor, use a curriculum, or just go with unschooling. It all works out. Homeschooling works even if you don't do it-- when our kid comes home bitching about the school day, I tell her that we can start homeschooling tomorrow. She immediately finds something nice to remember about that school day after all.

We've had a lot of talks about our kid "living high" on Mom & Dad's lifestyle. She understands that her standard of living is gonna take quite a hit when she moves out and I'm really glad that we saved all those photos of my first apartment. She knows that chores are assigned to teach her how to be a good roommate, to fix her home, and to execute a schedule under pressure. We also tell her that they're designed to make her want to move out & get her own place ASAP and I do believe that program is working. In return I've agreed not to drive by her morning school bus with my longboard on the way to the beach.

Think of it this way: Which would we prefer that our kids remember of their childhood years-- our working years or our ER years? And which memories will motivate them to achieve their own financial independence?
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Re: Retired With Kid... & loving it.
Old 08-10-2005, 03:00 PM   #30
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Re: Retired With Kid... & loving it.

Quote:
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otherwise work might just be the most fascinating thing in your life.

^^^^^^^ Love that ^^^^^^^^
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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 08-11-2005, 10:32 AM   #31
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Re: Retired With Kids

Quote:
"Not what most consider "retirement". With the young boys, not as easy to travel due to school and soccer scheduling.

RE2Boys"

I know a few folks have kids and ERd. As long as you have an adequate income stream, is there any disadvantage?
I'll be FIRE'd in October with 2 boys 7 and 5. I look forward to being more available for them. And will undoubtably get more involved with after school activities.

One interesting development presented by my DW is that she's calling me "Mr. Mom" ... NOT the way I thought of FIRE. She's also using my presence to commit herself to lots of volunteer work.

I know this will be life altering ... but "Mr. Mom" I was not ready for.
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Re: Retired With Kids
Old 08-14-2005, 05:01 PM   #32
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Re: Retired With Kids

Great posts. We are semi-retiring at the end of this year with a 3 year old. My mother will also be retiring and living with us. She has already taught him to count to 10 in spanish and sometimes he likes to show off buy bouncing back between english and spanish. We researched the private preschool he will be attending and it is relatively small. I think the student to teacher ratio is 10 to 1 (through high school)and runs $800 per quarter (less than daycare we are paying now). I think with three family members available he will really learn a lot from each of us. Should be an interesting adventure.
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