Saying Good-bye

[aim-high]

For the last few days the weather here has been dreary. The markets have been no better. And the condition of our beloved family dog has gone downhill even faster.

It's time to say good-bye to her. We've decided the kindest thing we can do for her at this point is let her go. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Have you gone through this? What makes it easier?

[steelyman]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aim-high Have you gone through this? What makes it easier?

Sadly, sometimes nothing except time. I knew I had to take a pet in one day, and I and my then-girlfriend set up a tent in the family room and stayed with him that night.

After it was done, we came home and watched "Charlotte's Web". Real tears flow.

[MRG]

My condolences, hardest thing I ever did. But I know it was his time. Even with the sadness, that little dog brought us so much joy. Never forget all the good times.

There are vets that will come to your home and do the procedure, if that might make you feel somewhat better.

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[Ally]

I am so sorry. That is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.

[daylatedollarshort]

I'm crying reading this thread. It brings back memories. Nothing really helps but time. So sorry to hear the sad news. My thoughts are with you.

[EastWest Gal]

We adopted our cat as a kitten when we married only two years. I was on vacation and stuck at home with a sprained ankle so I quickly became mom to her. The first day back to work she cried at the door for an hour even though DH was there. She was so attached to us we could walk her leash-less on the flats near San Mateo along the Bay. We flew her to her new home sedated in a carry-on pet bag.

Twenty years later, it was her time. She was blind, deaf, and had stopped eating. The wonderful vet we found did the euthanasia and it was very quick and peaceful. I was sad but after her long decline we were ready to say goodbye.


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[Silver]

I have had many pets who have needed help to stop their pain. I still grieve for them all. I always have them cremated, and I keep their ashes in a large marble urn that I also will go into one day.

Alfred Lord Tennyson said:

"I hold true, what'er befall,
I feel it when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all."

Our pets trust us to do the right thing for them. You are.

[Car-Guy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aim-high For the last few days the weather here has been dreary. The markets have been no better. And the condition of our beloved family dog has gone downhill even faster. It's time to say good-bye to her. We've decided the kindest thing we can do for her at this point is let her go. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Have you gone through this? What makes it easier?

The DW and I had to go through this twice so far. Although it is nice to know you are doing the right thing, nothing really seems to help (for us) other than time.

[samclem]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aim-high It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Have you gone through this? What makes it easier?

I'm so sorry. We have gone through it, and it is very hard. But you know it is the right thing to do.

Here's what made it easier for me. I was filled with sadness about the whole situation--about knowing we'd never see our great friend again. But I knew she was oblivious to the bigger ramifications--what a blessing! She hurt a bit and was uncomfortable, but she was with us and we were taking care of her. She would go to sleep, and that would be it for her. No worries about the hereafter, no thought of the sadness she would leave behind, no thought that she'd never see us again--none of the baggage we have as humans. Just sleep, like she'd experienced it thousands of times before.

So, I guess I was heartened that the sadness was just ours, and that our dog parted with us in a way that was very peaceful for her.

I wouldn't think much of someone who can hold their dog as it is euthanized and not cry about it.

[heeyy_joe]

Evan Williams helped me out.

[Amethyst]

I take comfort that at least I am allowed to give the gift of relief from misery to a beloved pet. Years ago, I authorized euthanasia after one too many "procedures we can try" which only prolonged my cat's suffering. The post-mortem dissection proved what I already suspected - he was doomed even before the symptoms of his blood cancer showed.

I've see too many blind, dilapidated, self-befouling animals, with no quality of life left, being kept alive "because he still thumps his tail when I say his name." But it is only that the poor creature cannot verbalize its misery. You seem to be in tune with your dog's need for release.

As for the grief, as others have said, only time is known to help. I'm sorry.

Amethyst

[cantlogin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by samclem I'm so sorry. We have gone through it, and it is very hard. But you know it is the right thing to do. Here's what made it easier for me. I was filled with sadness about the whole situation--about knowing we'd never see our great friend again. But I knew she was oblivious to the bigger ramifications--what a blessing! She hurt a bit and was uncomfortable, but she was with us and we were taking care of her. She would go to sleep, and that would be it for her. No worries about the hereafter, no thought of the sadness she would leave behind, no thought that she'd never see us again--none of the baggage we have as humans. Just sleep, like she'd experienced it thousands of times before. So, I guess I was heartened that the sadness was just ours, and that our dog parted with us in a way that was very peaceful for her. I wouldn't think much of someone who can hold their dog as he is put to sleep and not cry about it.

That's the most helpful point of view for me. Time seems to be the only thing that eventually dissolves the remaining grief.

[marko]

Extremely hard and heartbreaking, but we viewed it this way:
Our beloved 14 year old dog had a good life and as soon as his life got painful, we helped take that pain away for a good and old dog.

[Bestwifeever]

DS calls it the circle of life. Dr. Seuss says not to cry because it's over, smile because it happened. I say go ahead and cry your heart out; the smiles will come later when you don't expect them.

We have had three beloved dogs pass away, but we had the honor of helping only one move on painlessly, in my arms at the vet. That was the passing that brought me the most peace.

[TrvlBug]

We lost our 2 little girls (kitties) 4 years ago at 19 years old within 8 mos. of each other. The first to go stopped eating and after trying about a week, we decided, yes, she was telling us she wanted to go on her terms. We were with her and it was very peaceful.

Her sister went into seizure and coma during the night. Luckily I was awake and was able to rush her to emergency. DH was out of town. Neither of us was able to say goodbye and that part hurt the most.

We adopted 2 homeless kitties almost immediately and I smile daily at their antics and how much, personality wise, they remind us of their 'aunties.'

IMHO the best thing you can do is let them go when it's their time, not yours.

[daylatedollarshort]

DH and the kids always talked me into one more procedure, one more heroic measure out of love for our pets. It is always a tough call when they are still alive but gravely ill. The vet seemed happy to run up the tab. Last time one of the vet assistants probably risked her job out of kindness to me and our little guy by taking me aside and said there was really no hope at our pet's age, to just end the suffering peacefully.

[38Chevy454]

Been there myself and it is not fun. Have had many dogs and cats over the years and it is never easy. Just be assured you are doing the right thing to ease the suffering of your dog.

The only thing that helps is time, you hear t will be hurting for a while. Remember the good times, they will overcome the short-term hurting.

[healthyandfun]

My heart goes out to you. It is such a heartbreaking situation. When my wonderful dog could no longer eat, the vet was very understanding and helpful. They offered to come to the house. I decided to have it done at the office instead and his remains were cremated. Having his ashes gave me a lot of comfort. Only the passage of time helped in the grieving process. I love the photographs of my loyal pet.

[SDHiker]

Yes, we had to put our 14 yo lab mix down. It is awful and I am sorry you are going through it. We had a veterinarian come to the house. (He HATED going to the vet's office) I think it is the only time I have seen my husband cry. We may have waited a bit too long, but quality of life is so important. It is a tough decision, but it is part of taking care of your beloved pet.

[Calico]

I have been through this with five cats over the past 20 years - most recently a few weeks ago with my big furry orange tabby boy, who was 13.5 years old. It never gets easier, and it will hurt for a long time. In each case, after enough time passes, I remember the good times and smile, as others have said.

I always have considered it to be the final gift I can give my furry companions. I remind myself of this each time the tears start flowing - I am doing it for THEM, to relieve their discomfort.

A few weeks ago, a few days after saying goodbye to my cat, I took his many bottles of meds to the animal shelter to donate them. I thought I could keep it together, but while handing them to the vet tech I started to choke up and a few tears appeared. I apologized to her, and I will always remember her reply - she told me not to apologize, because my tears meant my cat had someone who had loved him and now missed him, and that was a good thing - she said every pet deserved to have someone who loved them enough to cry at their passing. What a wonderful thing for her to say.

I am sending hugs as you face this. Your dog is lucky you are there to give him the gift of a peaceful passing.