Seen on Craigslist

What's this world coming to when people can't be polite with air....
 
These two were in my local Craigslist in the last few weeks.

Meaner than snot turkey to rehome

I have a 1 1/2 year old Beautiful Blue Slate Tome turkey that needs to to be in someones breeder pen or on some ones dinner table. He is mean and will stalk you around the yard and bite at your legs. I have 5 other turkeys that are nice and are not a problem, but he is the demon seed of the bunch. Have tried everything, but he still is a mean jerk.
He is yours if you have a breeder pen, would not recommend you take him if you have children. He has gone after my girls before. Also would make many gallons of excellent turkey soup.

Here is another one that cracked me up. Bolding is mine

Save the Roosters - $1

I have four happy and healthy roosters. They are also LOUD, at least one or two of them are.
At least one is an Old English Game Bird, the others are mutts.
I'd like to trade them for chickens, but at this point you could have all four for anything. Or nothing.

I'm free in the later afternoons, and all day Thursday and Friday of this week. One way or another, they won't last through next weekend.
 
Thanks for the great laugh on this thread - gotta love the fowl stories!
 
Nope I think I've cornered the market on mo'rons.
2 CL postings today...

I have 10 baby ducks for sell at $10.00 ec. They are in good healht and ready to go.


This End Up - Bunk beds - $100
 

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Going out of Business sale?

Preacher's Pulpit - $175


Date: 2011-04-09, 11:42PM CDT
Reply to: see below

ALL WOOD WHITE, TOP WOOD STAIN, APPROX 4FT WIDE, 2FT DEPT, BARGAIN! FIRM ON PRICE
PASTOR TIM
830-985-xxxx
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REWahoo said:
Going out of Business sale?
Click to expand...

Maybe business is doing so well, that he bought something like this instead (and boy does this bring back childhood memories!):
 

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Sigh. Bought a bunch of Navajo and Mata Ortiz pottery and some other Indian stuff - wanted about 20% of the stuff but figured to make the seller happy and take it all, then sell the unwanted items and get what we wanted for a little bit of nothing. Did some sorting and picture taking and listed a group of pots on the local Craigslist and by golly got a response within an hour:

"Hi,[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] I am interested in your post ads here Virginia, Is it still available?
Thanks
Paul"

Hmm. Doesn't mention what is for sale and has a generic and garbled syntax. And don't call me Virginia. <faint but clear alarm bells are ringing> I dusted off an old Gmail account and responded:
[/FONT]
"Hi Paul,
Yes, I just posted the ad on Craigslist late this morning, so you are the first respondent and the group is still available".

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] He came right back:

"[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Ok then, thanks for your response. I want the item but i live in Virginia. I can overnight Money order to you as payment. I would take charge of the pick up cos i have other stuffs i already bought in your city and Nelson Maldovich would handle the pick up on my behalf. Send me your contact details. Name, address, zipcode and cell# if you are really willing to sell. I would get the money order sent overnight asap.
Regards".[/FONT]

<alarm bells are joined by klaxon horn> Who am I to turn down a sale though, on the off chance Paul is real?:

"Paul,

Unfortunately your notes have my scam alert tingling - Mr. Maldovich can contact me and I'll be happy to meet him and sell him the pots for cash. Sadly, there are too many reports of bogus money orders. I would suggest meeting in the Wells Fargo Bank building in La Quinta. That way he can verify that the pots are as I've represented them, we'll be in a secure location, he can transfer your money and mail the pots to you".


I think I may have hurt Paul's feelings - he hasn't responded further since noon....
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
 
I'm not looking for a job, but this must be paying more than $350/hour!

I scatter Ashes out at sea on my surfboard from Kailua or Waikiki, $350
call me @ 555-1212
Local Morturary References: Hosoi, Nu'uanu, Mililani, & Mililani Morturaries, feel free to call them about my service's.
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Nords said:
I'm not looking for a job, but this must be paying more than $350/hour!
Click to expand...

How much business does he get, you think?

Must be some, otherwise he couldn't afford to advertise. I don't know.

That has me thinking about where I want my ashes to go. Possibly somewhere at 7500 feet because that is the altitude I preferred for most of my jumps (in the '70's -- and occasionally to 10,500 for the "big star attempts" Never did get even an SCR or SCS rating dadgumit.).

Took to driving airplanes the following year. More science and knowledge involved, but it still doesn't help with the decision.
 
Nords said:
I'm not looking for a job, but this must be paying more than $350/hour!
Click to expand...

That surf bum is dreaming.
 
TromboneAl said:
That surf bum is dreaming.
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It seems like a difficult market in which to conduct a salary survey.

I can only imagine the bureaucracy for the permits and the general excise tax.

I also wonder if there's a special urn with a bracket to attach to a custom board fitting. Or do they just use a backpack, shoulder strap, or a lanyard? Otherwise you'd be paddling out, "Ooops", and spluttering while splashing the ashes off your face...
 
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