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Senior Moment, from another forum !
Old 08-25-2009, 02:36 PM   #1
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Senior Moment, from another forum !

Senior Moment

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint, two dimes, and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there, stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet, a mere child! Senior Citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was, waiting with a smile.
;
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially-eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later, I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout t o help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.
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Old 08-25-2009, 02:49 PM   #2
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I just wish I could get a senior discount! The rest of your post reflects many a day of my life! LOL
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Old 08-25-2009, 03:26 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Hey, don't feel bad, I had to look up what "Emo" meant.

I just loved the part about the "blankey".

Fortunately, this hasn't hit me...yet...I think. I've been blessed with a very keen memory and do a lot of daily mental exercises to keep it that way. I used to memorize constants and equations for exams, so the ol' noodle is well trained.

Now what did I do with my computer mouse? Oh that's right, I don't have one. I use a special "trace and tap" flat keyboard.
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Old 08-25-2009, 04:09 PM   #4
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Well right before my 50th birthday, your post hits home. Still eagerly waiting my 1st senior discount.

Thanks for the good laugh.
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Old 08-25-2009, 04:17 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by clifp View Post
Still eagerly waiting my 1st senior discount.
It helps if you wear one of these.

PS: Don't forget to ask for your senior discount when you buy the hat...
Attached Images
File Type: jpg senior discount hat.jpg (47.5 KB, 4 views)
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Old 08-25-2009, 04:31 PM   #6
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I gave my dad one of these...now I'm gonna have to get DH one...
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Old 08-25-2009, 04:34 PM   #7
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...and I just can not forget this thread....

Senior Discount Central~Post all discounts here
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Old 08-25-2009, 04:36 PM   #8
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Oh no bbbamI, you're gonna set Ziggy off again!
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Old 08-25-2009, 04:44 PM   #9
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Oh no bbbamI, you're gonna set Ziggy off again!

I'm prepared................................
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Old 08-25-2009, 05:50 PM   #10
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I'm prepared................................
Not Ziggy?
I know he is respectful of his elders.
Come on, you got to be talking about some other person
Steve
PS. I only start/accelerate trouble where I can.
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:32 PM   #11
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...and I just can not forget this thread....

Senior Discount Central~Post all discounts here
Just reread that thread and revisited Goonie's recommendation of what sounded like about the best restaurant I've ever heard of: HiWay Restaurant in Ottawa, IL, open 6am to 9pm, 7 days a week. One reason to visit Illlinois.
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Old 08-25-2009, 08:48 PM   #12
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HILARIOUS!!!
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