Sense of mortality

[tmm99]

OK, so we all die eventually, some sooner than others, and I get that, but not until recently, life seemed like a huge journey and I had a long road ahead of me. I am in my mid 50's, and one day, just recently, out of the blue, I finally woke up or what - I thought to myself "I am way more than half way done with my life!!" I get a similar feeling Sunday evening (I still w*ork) and I think to myself, "Gees, I wasted all weekend and look it's already Sunday evening. I don't have much time left to enjoy myself!" But this feeling about having spent more than way more than half of my life is much stronger.

Anybody ever get like this?

 

[Meadbh]

Of course. Why else ER?

 

[48Fire]

I think about it a lot, especially since my sister died this year at 55. Enjoy every day!

 

[travelover]

A strong motivator for my early retirement. And not all of "living" years are necessarily good years.

 

[easysurfer]

Yeah, I think about this sometimes. Even more, I have many older siblings so times I think, 10 years from now, some of them may not be around.

 

[growing_older]

A few friends, younger than I, have already died. It is weighing on my mind as I contemplate One More Year, or plunge into ER.

 

[chilkoot]

Probably a really common feeling. I can't help the sense that life is a long tunnel, and I'm a lot closer to one end than the other. Make the most of your time here. It's only getting shorter.

 

[rodi]

My mom only had 5 years of retirement - all but 6 months spent fighting cancer.
My dad did a bit better - but still only 15 years of retirement before cancer got him.
(They both retired at age 62).

My brother died at age 48.

A huge motivator for early retirement was to give myself the gift of time and freedom to do what *I* wish to do... Not spent working on other people's priorities...

We're all mortal. Enjoy life now.

 

[tmm99]

Probably a really common feeling. I can't help the sense that life is a long tunnel, and I'm a lot closer to one end than the other. Make the most of your time here. It's only getting shorter.

My feeling EXACTLY! It's like a tunnel and for better or for worse it's getting closer to the destination/end than where I started. It makes me feel very strange and even a bit panicky, like OMG I'd better make each new day count (but then I am sure I forget about it when life gets too busy again..)


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[Htown Harry]

Anybody ever get like this?

Sometimes, like earlier today when I read this essay:

Why I Hope to Die at 75 - The Atlantic

I am talking about how long I want to live and the kind and amount of health care I will consent to after 75. Americans seem to be obsessed with exercising, doing mental puzzles, consuming various juice and protein concoctions, sticking to strict diets, and popping vitamins and supplements, all in a valiant effort to cheat death and prolong life as long as possible. This has become so pervasive that it now defines a cultural type: what I call the American immortal.


I reject this aspiration. I think this manic desperation to endlessly extend life is misguided and potentially destructive. For many reasons, 75 is a pretty good age to aim to stop...


I am not advocating 75 as the official statistic of a complete, good life in order to save resources, ration health care, or address public-policy issues arising from the increases in life expectancy. What I am trying to do is delineate my views for a good life and make my friends and others think about how they want to live as they grow older. I want them to think of an alternative to succumbing to that slow constriction of activities and aspirations imperceptibly imposed by aging. Are we to embrace the “American immortal” or my “75 and no more” view?

 

[W2R]

OK, so we all die eventually, some sooner than others, and I get that, but not until recently, life seemed like a huge journey and I had a long road ahead of me. I am in my mid 50's, and one day, just recently, out of the blue, I finally woke up or what - I thought to myself "I am way more than half way done with my life!!" I get a similar feeling Sunday evening (I still w*ork) and I think to myself, "Gees, I wasted all weekend and look it's already Sunday evening. I don't have much time left to enjoy myself!" But this feeling about having spent more than way more than half of my life is much stronger.

Anybody ever get like this?

I think about this a lot. I have known some wonderful people who have already passed on. It's hard to wrap my mind around that. How can it be? They are so alive and vibrant in my memories. I'll keep them there.

Every day I see news reports about people not much older than me or even younger than me, who died - - even ultra-wealthy celebrities, who can afford the best medical care in the world.

I have a lot of living left to do and I plan to do it.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I read that Atlantic essay today as well, and it really made me think about what I want to do between now and the end of my own "good years".

All I know is that for me, experiences outweigh things, as far as life energy allocations are concerned.

 

[Lakewood90712]

Anybody ever get like this?

Absolutely

 

[jollystomper]

It is on my mind now. My mother died about 2 weeks ago at the age of 86. My dad died 19 years ago at the age of 72. My totally emotional guess sees me likely to live longer than my dad but not as long as my mom. Both were able to be active until 6 months (Dad) and 18 months (Mom) before passing. So ER and the time I have left is something I'll be thinking about this weekend.

 

[Looking4Ward]

Holy crap. I'm 54, remember my 20's like they were yesterday, yet this thread has me thinking about mortality and sudden death.

I think I'll keep working out, plan for my retirement funds to last until I'm 85, but enjoy them as though I'll be gone tomorrow.

 

[MuirWannabe]

Just spent a week on vacation noticing lots of older women either alone or together with other women friends. Being male, it definitely made me consider my mortality. Of course there are no guarantees for women. And I want my wife to live longer and have a happy life when I'm gone. But I don't want to leave too early and let her have all the fun without me

OMY for me means a bit more than it does for her (on average)

Muir


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[haha]

Ten or 15 years ago it dawned on me that in rank order, I hope to maintain a decent brain, reasonable mobility, and good sexuality.

My hip was a challenge as I let it go beyond where most middle class people would normally have done. I rarely see a middle class looking man of any age with a cane; crutches sometimes when someone has had a skiing or other accident. Much older women may use a cane, I judge that they are 85+.

A rheumatologist at one of the North Carolina medical schools, Nortin Hadler, thinks that an educated person with reasonable job satisfaction and no huge sources of frustration very often will live to 83-85 without much morbidity. He also advises against many of the "routine tests" that we are subjected to.

I know 75 is too damn young for me to want to shuffle off, but neither do I want to be old and sick.

Ha

 

[pb4uski]

...I am in my mid 50's, and one day, just recently, out of the blue, I finally woke up or what - I thought to myself "I am way more than half way done with my life!!" ...

The more important question is how much more than half way done are you?

 

[tmm99]

The more important question is how much more than half way done are you?

That is the million dollar question, isn't it? I am in my mid 50's, so even if I do well, I will maybe make it until 90's. If I happen to go in my 70's, I only have 20 or so years left. How am I going to live if I only had twenty more years to go? Ten more years? Five more? Would I live differently? I really don't know.

Maybe this is kind of my turning point - although I knew we all go sooner or later, I still felt like this was going to go on forever..
Now I am just realizing for the first time that I am way past my mid mark.

I am just rambling..


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[ChainsBeGone]

Maybe this is kind of my turning point - although I knew we all go sooner or later, I still felt like this was going to go on forever..
Now I am just realizing for the first time that I am way past my mid mark.

I know what you mean. I turn 50 in a few months, with the realization that my middle-aged apex was probably 10 years ago, at 40, and only then if I'm blessed to live to 80. My father did not live to 80, and my mother has not stayed mentally healthy past 80. It's made me start thinking things like the last truck I just bought has a very good chance of outlasting me. But then the optimist in me says , I just bought my last truck and won't have to buy another one if I'm lucky. Glass half-empty or glass half-full?

 

[Rick_Head]

The more important question is how much more than half way done are you?

Hard to say.

When I was born, my dad went to tell his granddad about it, found him shoveling shyte out of the barn. GGD was celebrating his 100th birthday that day (I'd have found a better method).

When my grandad was my age, he stated a new life on a farm in west Canada, lasted 15 years B4 "re".

When my dad was my age, he'd been dead for 10 years.

YMMV

 

[Car-Guy]

A strong motivator for my early retirement. And not all of "living" years are necessarily good years.

+1

 

[H2ODude]

Mortality is certainly something that occupies my thoughts. However, it's deterioration of life quality that is more concerning. If I could choose between typical old age deterioration and a quick stroke or heart attack, I'd check the latter box.

One thing has improved for DW and I, especially her. We cared for her mother in our home for 8 years until the hospitalizing falls sent her to assisted living (not her idea for sure). Her presence was a continual reminder of what life can become for us (she's 89, we're 63). We work at maintaining good health, exercise, etc yet her falling, walker, 10 meds, etc etc just was a walking billboard of "this is what's in store for YOU!" It;s wonderful to not have that reminder here and the constant need to provide care. After 8 years and little gratitude for it, there's no guilt at all. We have our own lives to enjoy, or at least the years left we can.

I've tired to read and practice the "live in the moment" thing as much as possible. It's not easy for a constant worrier, but to work on just relaxing and enjoying all the many little pleasures can ease the anxieties.

 

[Totoro]

This may sound ridiculous as I am "only 34", but I am having this sense recently.

It is a good effect on me though I believe. I am less willing for example to stick around with people who don't affect me in a good way.

I also tend to think *very* long term, so a bit of counterbalance is actually nice. And I appreciate every good moment more as it happens.

 

[pb4uski]

My sense of mortality increased when I'm reading the paper and obits of people near my age became common.