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Old 05-25-2016, 03:37 PM   #21
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I tend to believe that anyone who voices very definite, un-nuanced, vehement opinions is a pompous a$$, and my first impulse is to laugh at them (although I'm smart enough not to do this if the person seems unhinged or dangerous - in those instances, I try to escape quietly).

My Mother was able to laugh at pompous a$$es and get away with it much better than I can. I swear it was because she was little and petite.

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I have a very good friend who is able to just start laughing whenever a conversation veers into trouble. She is adorable and charming, and the person trying to argue with her has no choice than to laugh along with her.

I have noticed that the closer people feel they are to me, the more likely they are to need to dump their arguments on me. We recently had some people over to dinner, one of whom being an old friend of DH's who I barely know, and he did not mention one word of his rabid political beliefs, even though he had regaled DH and others he was closed to about them just a couple of months ago.

Unless I find the arguments offensive (clearly racist, for example), I try to steer away from the topic or literally steer myself away. Now that I'm old and outspoken, I have no trouble calling someone out for being offensive.

If I did social media, I would figure out how to make them invisible to me. I no longer get any argumentative forwards.
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Old 05-25-2016, 03:43 PM   #22
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Me, far too often...

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Old 05-25-2016, 03:58 PM   #23
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I suspect some people are not happy unless they can argue about whatever. At least I can say arguing doesn't add to my happiness, but I do wish I could embrace staying silent a little more.
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Old 05-25-2016, 03:59 PM   #24
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I suspect some people are not happy unless they can argue about whatever.
Not true!
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Old 05-25-2016, 04:00 PM   #25
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Not true!
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Old 05-25-2016, 04:01 PM   #26
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Not true!
Yes it is!
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Old 05-25-2016, 04:07 PM   #27
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Yes it is!
No way that is right!
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Old 05-25-2016, 04:10 PM   #28
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If you want an argument you have to pay first.
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Old 05-25-2016, 04:26 PM   #29
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I am curious about something. We like to think we grow wiser with age, and often this does appear true in life (though not always). Since everyone in your community is old, do you notice that the oldest ones are also the wisest? Is someone who's 100, noticeably wiser than someone who's 80?

I am not trying to be funny with this question. I really am curious.

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I


Today, with most of our neighbors and friends in the early seventies up to those who are older than 100, age has leveled the playing field, and almost no one is willing to take on hot issues.

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Old 05-25-2016, 04:48 PM   #30
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If you want an argument you have to pay first.
"I already paid..."
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Old 05-25-2016, 04:54 PM   #31
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Not true!
Ah, the master arguer does not disappoint. Now if you could just stop all those invaders coming to Texas.
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Old 05-25-2016, 05:01 PM   #32
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No way that is right!
This is not an argument - this is contradiction. I paid for an argument!
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Old 05-25-2016, 05:07 PM   #33
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This is not an argument - this is contradiction. I paid for an argument!
"I'm sorry, the five minutes is up."
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Old 05-25-2016, 05:09 PM   #34
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I am curious about something. We like to think we grow wiser with age, and often this does appear true in life (though not always). Since everyone in your community is old, do you notice that the oldest ones are also the wisest? Is someone who's 100, noticeably wiser than someone who's 80?

I am not trying to be funny with this question. I really am curious.
Amethyst... Not sure about the 80/100 part, but yes... wiser. Wiser doesn't equal smarter, but almost to a person more stable, better able to handle controversy and supportive of one another. Definitely "live and let live", except for today's politics, where every conversation ends with humor and good will.

You would be delighted to meet most of the residents.. laid back, but with amazing breadth of people-sense and willingness to listen and share.

The three or four curmudgeons who delight in grumpiness, have accepted their place in the retirement scheme and wear their reputations as badges of honor.

The ladies usually have more to say, but I'd characterize the majority of men
as "sweet"... in the finest sense of the word.
And, you're right... I didn't expect this at all, but now am part of the society, and love it.
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Old 05-25-2016, 05:26 PM   #35
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I imagine I would like them a lot, if they have as many things to talk about as you do. I am wiser than I used to be, but have a lot to learn still.

I know some curmudgeons who act like it makes them someone special. They are only in their 40's! I would expect a much higher level of curmudgeonry from someone twice that age. Like the 70-ish man at the gym the other day who told me his granddaughter just got a "little kick-dog." I laughed out loud, even though I like dogs, wouldn't dream of kicking one and would have nothing to do with anyone who really would kick one (he wouldn't). It was just the perfect description, completely free of artificial sweetening.

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You would be delighted to meet most of the residents.. laid back, but with amazing breadth of people-sense and willingness to listen and share.

t.
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Old 05-25-2016, 07:26 PM   #36
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I've always been different . . . from my family. This has led to several delicate and not-so-delicate conversations.


I was the only one to go to college. I was the only one to move away from the home town . . .and then I moved out of state . . . and then I moved out of the country . . . and then I moved to the opposite side of the earth!


We had a grand child that met with family approval . . . then we became foster parents . . . and adopted several children who did not resemble the family at all (this was a source of not-so-delicate conversations, even lawsuits were threatened).


How did we persevere? With our heads held high and a calm demeanor! Things are much better now. Even our kids, all of them, are loved and hugged. It was a rough journey, it really was, but it was well worth it.
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Old 05-25-2016, 08:34 PM   #37
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We moved halfway across the country to get away from some insanity mostly family. FIL was bipolar, nice guy for the most part till he wasn't. We never knew for sure when he'd come off a manic and turn, he was not capable of being a good person then. My DF, I'm not sure I'm was his kid! Couldn't be any different if I'd been raised by wolves. At least my FIL had an illness.

I no longer debate crap. Social media I keep my viewpoints private. Learned I could still follow family but tell FB not to show me stuff from this site. After a while I've gotten rid of 95% of the posts.

That's a question for those on FB. Why do those who are clueless have such strong opinions that they need to push on others?
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Old 05-25-2016, 08:57 PM   #38
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I was very outspoken in my 20s, arguing with anyone who would take me on. Age has tempered that a lot, and I tend to be more live-and-let-live these days. I can say that I now avoid most of the blowhards we know, figuring that life is too short to listen to their vitriol. This has the unfortunate effect of keeping me in a bit more of a bubble, wherein I spend most of my time with people who "think like me", which isn't ideal.

I figure that it is incredibly hard to sway someone's opinions and beliefs, so I don't really have those conversations very much. The one exception is my boss, whose beliefs veer off to one side of mine, and who I enjoy poking with a stick every now and again to get his take on a given news item or recent research. Those conversations are civil, and usually end with us meeting in the middle.
I can identify with this. As I have agedmatured, I've become much more selective about what arguments I'll have, and with whom I will have them.
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Old 05-26-2016, 11:18 AM   #39
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My views on science, politics, and religion don't match well with most folks. And, based on my Facebook experience, many have chosen a particular point-of-view, and will stick to it, even when provided with information to the contrary. In fact, many are offended by any attempt to look at an issue from another angle.

I've hidden as many offending pages as possible, to remove the temptation to respond...
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Old 05-26-2016, 11:43 AM   #40
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I suspect some people are not happy unless they can argue about whatever.
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No way that is right!
You are all wrong.
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