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Old 02-03-2008, 08:55 AM   #21
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Long time posters need to put something in their will telling the executor to send a message to this message board when you die!
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Old 02-03-2008, 09:52 AM   #22
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Long time posters need to put something in their will telling the executor to send a message to this message board when you die!
... along with a full financial profile and SWR data dump to add to FIRECalc's archives...
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Old 02-03-2008, 10:00 AM   #23
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... along with a full financial profile and SWR data dump to add to FIRECalc's archives...
You know, that's not a bad idea. We can hypothesize all we want, but where are the outcome data?
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Old 02-03-2008, 01:59 PM   #24
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After nearly three years of meetings, letters, depositions and legal fees, to say nothing of the stress he was experiencing as a result, DH resigned the position of executor. It's now been nearly five years since his aunt died, and the estate still has not been settled and is still tied up in probate. Last we heard was that one of the out of state relatives filed suit against the attorney named as the replacement executor. Can't imagine that there will be much left in the estate after all the legal fees are finally paid.

All in all a mess. And it seemed so simple at the beginning. DH had met with his aunt and the attorney who drew up the will; thought all was in order, etc.
It is amazing what happens within a family when someone dies. Greed makes nice old ladies turn into blood sucking vampires. It is such a shame and it wrecks family relationships forever.

When my grandmother died my mother's cousin swarmed the house and took a number of items before my parents could drive the 700 miles to get there. They had very little and the cousin was very well off but there were some items in the house that went back several generations that I assume were seen to be of value to the cousin in the antique market (she had a house stuffed with this stuff).

When confronted she said my grandmother had said she should have these items. My mother was an only child so it is unlikely she would have done this. Anyway, the two of them feuded over this for years until the cousin died and her husband sent us the contested items.

You see this happen over and over. I experienced some of this with my late wife's mother who lives in FL. She was very adamant about certain items being sent to her other daughter....in Australia. Luckily, the sister came here on a business trip and managed to get here to see and select the items she wanted. I was happy to do so for her, not her mother. She took only a fraction of what her mother wanted her to take. The rest is going on Ebay or will be given away. I have not heard from her mother in years. She is and will die a bitter angry selfish old woman.

I would think twice before being an executor for a friend or even a family member unless you have some firm documentation on assets and family members. The bond idea is a good one too to keep your assets out of the mix in case of a nasty family member who is sue crazy.
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Old 02-03-2008, 03:39 PM   #25
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I wonder how often the executor is unaware that he or she is the chosen one. I mean, let's say that they open my will and it says:

"My executor is to be Martha from the ER Forum. She lives somewhere in Minnesota, and looks like this: "
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Old 02-04-2008, 01:38 PM   #26
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I'm not sure what they did, but whenever I read threads like this I have a tremendous amount of respect for my parents and how they've raised us. They'll have a complicated estate but I have absolute faith that my two sisters and I will sort it all out in an orderly fashion and respect whatever final wishes my parents have.

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Old 02-04-2008, 03:51 PM   #27
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Long time posters need to put something in their will telling the executor to send a message to this message board when you die!

My mother was an active member of an internet list-serve. When she passed I did let everyone know, and it was a meaningful experience for me and I assume, the list members, too.
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Old 02-04-2008, 05:18 PM   #28
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I wonder how often the executor is unaware that he or she is the chosen one. I mean, let's say that they open my will and it says:

"My executor is to be Martha from the ER Forum. She lives somewhere in Minnesota, and looks like this: "
I'll do a bit of threadjacking.

But how do people decide who should be executor? When I set up my trust 9 years ago, I gave the job to one of my best friends, who is a lawyer (albeit not a estate law) and very detail oriented. As payment for this admittedly thankless task, I gave him 5% of my estate. I moved away and we have drifted apart talking or seeing each other perhaps once or twice a year.

I am thinking I should update my will and trying to figure out who should be trustee. I'll contact my friend first to see if he is still willing to do the job. I am tempted to give the job to my neice, but considering that she is one of the main beneficaries I think their maybe a conflict. She is smart girl but with three kids has a very busy schedule.

My grandfather set up a charitable remainder trust, with a church acting as an executor. Unfortunately one of the trust officers conned my senile Grandma into doing dumb things and it cost the family at least $500,000 and 2 years of horrendous stress.

I also here people like Pederro complain bitterly about the bank trustees and executors of his parents estate.

Anybody have thoughts on pros and cons of friends, relatives, or "professionals" act as executors.
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Old 02-04-2008, 06:17 PM   #29
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We have friends as our executors. Good enough friends so that they would do it for free if we let them. I am their executor.

As the years go by and we all get older, I can see having to revisit the issue. It is going to be tough because right now I can think of absolutely no young person who I know who could be executor. I might end up having to use a bank trust officer. Which I am not thrilled about.
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Old 02-04-2008, 07:36 PM   #30
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Anybody have thoughts on pros and cons of friends, relatives, or "professionals" act as executors.
We're trying to keep it in the family. Mother-in-law is our kid's guardian (until our kid turns 18) and BIL the CPA is the executor.

But when our kid turns 18 then we're making her the executioner executor. She's getting anything that's left it all anyway.

I figure the person inheriting the majority of the estate might as well work for it. My father was executor for his wife and his father, and that was painful enough.
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