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Seven Years Later
Old 06-26-2019, 12:15 AM   #1
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Seven Years Later

Yes it's been a bit over seven years since the one and only post but now that we are really in it I had to share the journey since 2012. I served as a full time caregiver to my elderly father who lived with us for the last 15 years of his life. The period from 2012 to 2018 was enlightening, troubling, challenging, rewarding, exhausting..to name a few regarding the experience of caring for a parent. I promised my father he would never go to a facility and that was his wish so I observed along with my wife the very slow decline of his life and kept the promise. He died at home on Memorial Day 2018 at almost 96 years of age. My dear mother in law died in early May 2019 and my wife took a LOA from her job to relocate back to the home she left 40 years ago to take personal charge and take care of her terminal mother who also wished to stay in her home to the end. That two month separation was the first for us in our 39 year marriage. It seemed appropriate afterwards and my wife retired for good a second time. Two weeks plus retired and she is loving her own schedule, and she has already discovered the days of the week begin to blur and each day is a Saturday. She had asked me what I thought of retirement and my view is that is was a bit like being out of school during my summers of the 60's and 70's, barefoot, shorts, no shirt, pool or beach all day every day, mowing the lawn, summer camp, etc., except it goes on day after day, month after month. Now you can sleep late, do what you want if you want, unless you have too! So now to the funding sources of this retired indulgent lifestyle. I inherited funds and the bulk is in a CD earning the measly return. She will inherit funds and wants to pay off the house. Our cars are 100 percent free and clear, as is the travel trailer, we owe nothing to creditors other than the mortgage. I'm 62 and filed for my SS retirement as soon as possible, we still have her annuity and insurance from the state of Texas, plus another from a county entity, and she will file for her SS retirement as soon as allowed and we've still not touched my 403b annuity that still earns 6% but I know the day is coming and I'll be forced to take some payout, but until then where else do you get a return like that? We figure our monthly retirement income at it's peak will be around $4800.00 . We have a great backyard and prefer a staycation during the summer, and travel the USA with the travel trailer in tow. We let the yard crew go and I've equipped myself with all the toys to take care of the landscaping. We prefer cooking and eating at home the majority of the time because its cheaper, usually always better and you know what's gone in it! I have longed ago ceased to be a consumer in all areas, and procure only out of absolute necessity, and my wife would have adored my grandmother who was tight as the bark on a tree and could get more out of a quarter than most. I wear shorts and t shirts out, but do keep a small stock of dress clothes for those times I have to look good or better. We both find that medical care, Rx's, and specialists are going to be our likely big expense. After years of used or hand me down computers, we bought our first new custom computer and we had to break down and upgrade our flip phones to the iPhone 6 but that was several years ago, but only because the older models were obsolete in all manner. Again this is an update to a really old post (it qualified for a Old Thread Warning being more than 2455 days old) but I hope to hear from others who have experienced similar and would like to hear ball park figures of what you are existing on financially. Bill
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Old 06-26-2019, 05:09 AM   #2
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Welcome back and great post.

I am currently reading "Being Mortal." Should I succumb to geriatric demise, I am trying to plan so that my final days are not spent being kept undead long after I've stopped living (as is often the case for many elderly today).

I'm very close the the 2 year mark, and yes, retirement has been blessed and blissful. Our retirement budget is only slightly higher, as we are deliberately spending a little extra on travel before our go-go years become our go-slow years. DW was a SAHM, so our nest egg is what one income could generate. But we did okay, and our small pensions, SS (both filing later this year), and stellar health insurance leave us desiring nothing more. We love our home and yard, and will remain here as long as health permits.

I'll probably celebrate the 2 year milestone with a summary. My hope is to get a few fence sitters and OMY'ers to the Free Zone. Gosh, it's fun here!
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Old 06-26-2019, 05:24 AM   #3
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Welcome back and great post alicebillis! I especially enjoyed your view on retirement "She had asked me what I thought of retirement and my view is that is was a bit like being out of school during my summers of the 60's and 70's, barefoot, shorts, no shirt, pool or beach all day every day, mowing the lawn, summer camp, etc., except it goes on day after day, month after month" You're spot on - retirement is just like those summers off school when we were kids.
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Old 06-26-2019, 06:32 AM   #4
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Good post. I like the comment about wardrobe. I wondered about what I should do with “work clothes”. Looks like they will go on eBay next year.
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:31 PM   #5
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most of my work clothes went to a favorite organization locally called "Hangers of Hope." The proceeds support medical and dental care to those that cannot afford it or are not covered by insurance.
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:34 PM   #6
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Impossible to read. There is a concept called "a paragraph" that you might want to look into.
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:35 PM   #7
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thanks for sharing your situation!
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:49 PM   #8
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Impossible to read. There is a concept called "a paragraph" that you might want to look into.
Congratulations! There's always one of you on a site and if you can't read it then simply just look away! Thank you!
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:55 PM   #9
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Congratulations! There's always one of you on a site and if you can't read it then simply just look away! Thank you!
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:00 PM   #10
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Thank you for sharing your story. Glad to hear you that after taking care of your parents you are now enjoying your retirement.
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:03 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by alicebillis View Post
Congratulations! There's always one of you on a site and if you can't read it then simply just look away! Thank you!
Naw, there is more than one who can't follow it.
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:22 PM   #12
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I read the entire paragraph, I had no problems. I am beyond dismayed at the arrogance shown by several here that someone who shared what the OP went through and asked for what others have gone through and is given formatting put downs. To format a person's topic and then triumphantly post BETTER MUCH BETTER, is just terrible, you are all pharisaical.
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:25 PM   #13
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Congratulations on your retirement, and it sounds as if you've lived the frugal life many of us have lived. I'm with you on the shorts, but I have an Auburn shirt and an Alabama shirt (from Dollar General) I rotate wearing. Also, don't forget to wear your ball hat so you can avoid shampooing hair every morning.

I too am a part time (and not often enough) RV'er. We were out last week in the mountains, and really enjoyed 60 degree nights and 80 degree days between storms. Many don't have to go very far to enjoy their campers.

So many of us have been where you've been with parents. I'm a little different in that when I cannot take care of myself, my kids have been ordered to put me in assisted living or even full nursing home care and visit me 1x per week. I don't want to burden anyone, and I probably won't know what's going on anyway.

In between your grass cutting and home maintenance, don't forget to take a few naps. They make you live healthier and longer.
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:41 PM   #14
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Impossible to read. There is a concept called "a paragraph" that you might want to look into.
+100

I just can't read something that long without a break in it.
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Old 06-28-2019, 06:23 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by CardsFan View Post
+100

I just can't read something that long without a break in it.
Yes. I took one glance, and moved on.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Running_Man View Post
I read the entire paragraph, I had no problems. I am beyond dismayed at the arrogance shown by several here that someone who shared what the OP went through and asked for what others have gone through and is given formatting put downs. To format a person's topic and then triumphantly post BETTER MUCH BETTER, is just terrible, you are all pharisaical.
It's not arrogance. If someone wants to be read, they should consider their readers.

Maybe you had no problems, but some of us find it takes a lot of effort to follow something w/o breaks. Perhaps it is arrogance on your part to assume no one else has trouble with it?

Bottom line, if the OP really wants feedback, they are likely to get more of it, and a higher quality of it, if they make their post easy to read, and organized.

Or, to put it another way....

+100ijustcan'treadsomethingthatlongwithoutabreakin ityesitookoneglanceandmovedonireadtheentireparagra phIhadnoproblemsiambeyonddismayedatthearrogancesho wnbyseveralherethatsomeonewhosharedwhattheopwentth roughandaskedforwhatothershavegonethroughandisgive nformattingputdownstoformataperson'stopicandthentr iumphantlypostbettermuchbetterisjustterribleyouare allpharisaicait'snotarroganceifsomeonewantstoberea dtheyshouldconsidertheirreadersmaybeyouhadnoproble msbutsomeofusfindittakesalotofefforttofollowsometh ingwobreaksperhapsitisarroganceonyourparttoassumen ooneelsehastroublewithitbottomlineiftheopreallywan tsfeedbacktheyarelikelytogetmoreofitandahigherqual ityofitiftheymaketheirposteasytoreadandorganizedor toputitanotherway...

-ERD50
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Old 06-28-2019, 06:54 PM   #16
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Okay, I'm ready to move on and thank you one and all for your thoughtful consideration and replies... who got more out of what I was sharing than my lack of paragraphs, and yes it was rude to submit corrections. Arrogant style, guaranteed to push the buttons of those offended was never my intent. Thanks, Bill
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Old 06-28-2019, 07:56 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by alicebillis View Post
Okay, I'm ready to move on and thank you one and all for your thoughtful consideration and replies... who got more out of what I was sharing than my lack of paragraphs, and yes it was rude to submit corrections. Arrogant style, guaranteed to push the buttons of those offended was never my intent. Thanks, Bill
Hay Alice I Loved it!
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Old 06-28-2019, 08:06 PM   #18
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Bill, the clarity comes through.
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Old 06-29-2019, 06:17 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alicebillis View Post
Yes it's been a bit over seven years since the one and only post but now that we are really in it I had to share the journey since 2012.

I served as a full time caregiver to my elderly father who lived with us for the last 15 years of his life. The period from 2012 to 2018 was enlightening, troubling, challenging, rewarding, exhausting..to name a few regarding the experience of caring for a parent. I promised my father he would never go to a facility and that was his wish so I observed along with my wife the very slow decline of his life and kept the promise. He died at home on Memorial Day 2018 at almost 96 years of age.

My dear mother in law died in early May 2019 and my wife took a LOA from her job to relocate back to the home she left 40 years ago to take personal charge and take care of her terminal mother who also wished to stay in her home to the end. That two month separation was the first for us in our 39 year marriage. It seemed appropriate afterwards and my wife retired for good a second time.

Two weeks plus retired and she is loving her own schedule, and she has already discovered the days of the week begin to blur and each day is a Saturday. She had asked me what I thought of retirement and my view is that is was a bit like being out of school during my summers of the 60's and 70's, barefoot, shorts, no shirt, pool or beach all day every day, mowing the lawn, summer camp, etc., except it goes on day after day, month after month. Now you can sleep late, do what you want if you want, unless you have too! So now to the funding sources of this retired indulgent lifestyle.

I inherited funds and the bulk is in a CD earning the measly return. She will inherit funds and wants to pay off the house. Our cars are 100 percent free and clear, as is the travel trailer, we owe nothing to creditors other than the mortgage.

I'm 62 and filed for my SS retirement as soon as possible, we still have her annuity and insurance from the state of Texas, plus another from a county entity, and she will file for her SS retirement as soon as allowed and we've still not touched my 403b annuity that still earns 6% but I know the day is coming and I'll be forced to take some payout, but until then where else do you get a return like that? We figure our monthly retirement income at it's peak will be around $4800.00 .

We have a great backyard and prefer a staycation during the summer, and travel the USA with the travel trailer in tow. We let the yard crew go and I've equipped myself with all the toys to take care of the landscaping. We prefer cooking and eating at home the majority of the time because its cheaper, usually always better and you know what's gone in it!

I have longed ago ceased to be a consumer in all areas, and procure only out of absolute necessity, and my wife would have adored my grandmother who was tight as the bark on a tree and could get more out of a quarter than most. I wear shorts and t shirts out, but do keep a small stock of dress clothes for those times I have to look good or better. We both find that medical care, Rx's, and specialists are going to be our likely big expense.

After years of used or hand me down computers, we bought our first new custom computer and we had to break down and upgrade our flip phones to the iPhone 6 but that was several years ago, but only because the older models were obsolete in all manner.

Again this is an update to a really old post (it qualified for a Old Thread Warning being more than 2455 days old) but I hope to hear from others who have experienced similar and would like to hear ball park figures of what you are existing on financially. Bill
Bill, it sounds great.

We also helped out with in-laws over a 15-year period, and it was trying at times, but definitely the right thing to do.

Sounds like you have the LBYM thing down 100%, and will have no financial worries.

Our backyard and house need serious updates, and that is what we focus on now. Since we still have work income, it is just time to spend the bread and get things done. The backyard is our refuge, all natural, with plenty of trees. I love to look out the kitchen window and see nature.

Our technology is also refreshed in the last 1-2 years. After years of making old things work, we have moved on to blowing some dough, and enjoying modern life.

Take care, and keep in touch.
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Old 06-29-2019, 09:13 AM   #20
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Glad you are finally free to enjoy retirement.
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